When you're a superhero, pretty much every scene starts off with fetish outfits, but that alone isn't creepy enough to make this list of the weirdest, most awkward and outright disturbing sex scenes in comic book movie history. Prepare yourself, because all the rock hard abs and busty babes in the world ain't enough to make THESE scenes sexy...If you're solely looking for a list of superhero movies this might not be the place for you, haha.
Just as an example: how about that Dr Manhattan sex scene, huh? Yeah. Weird.Here's the deal - superhero sex (or super hero sex if that's how you want to spell it) is innately weird because they're superheroes. Let's all just deal with it for 4 1/2 seconds and enjoy this list.
Kevin Smith wasn't the only person who wondered about Superman's sex life. Every comic book-loving kid with a Y-Chromosome has speculated on the... shall we say "explosive" possibilities of Superman's sun-powered loins actually getting it on with a human female. At the risk of sounding crude, the popular belief was that things would not go well for the poor lady when Superman was finished.
So what actually happens in Superman II when Kal-El finally beds the girl of his dreams? Well, aside from the disappointment that it all happens off-camera (sure, we understand why, but come on... we're all thinking it) Superman's first night of coital bliss - quite probably EVER - is followed by a heart-to-heart with his Dad about it the very next morning. In front of his girlfriend.
As if that wasn't awkward enough - and frankly it really should be - Superman then decides to give up his identity and everything that makes him unique and special in order to be with the first girl he's ever laid. Dude, seriously, we know you're inexperienced, but you gotta give the relationship a little room to breathe. She's a hard-nosed reporter who only loved you after she found out you were Superman... maybe you don't want to settle down with her just yet! Sad. Just...
Just sad.Also, he appears to have taken Lois to the North Pole and then let her walk around scantily clad. Not very considerate, pal. It's freakin' COLD up there! Maybe you could loan her a bathrobe and some fuzzy slippers or something?!
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Before he decides to put on a fetish outfit and running around beating people up with long sticks, "Kick Ass" spends his days dreaming about his well-endowed but not particularly attractive english teacher and making deposits in what he delightfully refers to as "the whack off warehouse." Honestly, we were all teenagers once. Or in our mid-twenties. Or our mid-thirties. Or what have you...AHEM! Sorry, lost our train of thought. But director Matthew Vaughn places a surprising amount of emphasis on his hero's masturbatory habits, even in this trailer (00:28 - 00:42). Sympathetic? Perhaps, but unlike the similar j*****f scene in Fast Times at Ridgemont High, he doesn't give us enough freeze-framable nudity to keep the sequence off of our list of the weirdest superhero sex scenes of all time.