L The List
Kick AssBefore he decides to put on a fetish outfit and running around beating people up with long sticks, "Kick Ass" spends his days dreaming about his well-endowed but not particularly attractive english teacher and making deposits in what he delightfully refers to as "the whack off warehouse." Honestly, we were all teenagers once. Or in our mid-twenties. Or our mid-thirties. Or what have you...
AHEM! Sorry, lost our train of thought. But director Matthew Vaughn places a surprising amount of emphasis on his hero's masturbatory habits, even in this trailer (00:28 - 00:42). Sympathetic? Perhaps, but unlike the similar j*****f scene in Fast Times at Ridgemont High, he doesn't give us enough freeze-framable nudity to keep the sequence off of our list of the weirdest superhero sex scenes of all time.
WatchmenThere are several creepy sex scenes in Zack Snyder's The Watchmen, from the rape of the first Silk Spectre to Doctor Manhattan's attempted four-way with the new Silk Spectre, but nothing was as cringe-inducing as the Nite Owl's attempts to nail the new Silk Spectre (man, these Silk Spectres sure do seem to attract all the weirdos...).
Despite the fact that they've been dancing around an affair for God knows how long, and that the Nite Owl is clearly in love with her, and that the Silk Spectre is the one who actually jumps HIM for a change, the poor guy just can't seal the deal. Sure, it's a metaphor for his subconscious sense of failure for giving up on his true calling, but that doesn't take the sting off of the lovely young woman saying those two little words that no man likes to hear: "It's okay."
It's not okay, ladies. It sucks. And it's no less painful watching somebody else have the same problem.
Not that... You know, not that it's ever happened to US...
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