Innovative Genius Sells Kool-Aid as FuelRonald Horlings was arrested in Houston in April 1983 after he convinced people to invest in a new
"super automobile fuel" made of water, ammonia, and orange Kool-Aid. Say wha? He convinced two women in Lansing, MI, to support the development and marketing of "etholeen," which was supposed to get 90 miles per gallon. I mean, in their dreams, right? Horlings also got in trouble for a bunch of other things in the early 80s - from passing bad checks to claiming to have developed a way to operate an engine on compressed air - but he was smart about the etholeen. See, the ammonia was just there to make it smell.
Slick Siblings Fight Over Who Drank Kool-AidIn May 2012 in Florida (natch), an adult man (probably sunburned and sweating through jorts and a wifebeater) opened his refrigerator to retrieve a pitcher of Kool-Aid he had made, but found the jug empty. When he asked his adult sister (probably swatting away mosquitoes in the backyard) who drank his danged Kool-Aid, she replied (according to police) with a "slick answer." Words were exchanged (probably not very intelligent ones), a vase was thrown, police were called... and that, as they say, is a Florida headline.
Georgia Men Smuggle Kool-Aid & Lunch MeatRobert Clay Coburn Jr. and Shawn Robert Anderson, both 18, went into an Auburn, GA, grocery store and bought a frozen pizza. What they did not buy was the several packets of luncheon meat and packets of Kool-Aid an employee had seen them conceal in their clothes. Their foiled haul would have been worth $13.69.
White Men Spray Black People with Kool-AidThe only thing that offends me more than racism is lazy racism. I mean, Kool-Aid? Really? In Sept. 1991, two no-doubt upstanding and well-respected Missouri men, David Walden of Ellisville and Shawn Daniels of Fenton, MO, were caught on tape (by Walden's future ex-wife) acting very dumb. They drove into predominantly black neighborhoods in St. Louis and sprayed arbitrary victims with a modified high-powered fire extinguisher filled with water + Kool-Aid. So clever. They did this again in Oct. 1991 and on Jan. 20, 1992 - which, JICYDAK, was the "good day" Ice Cube was singing about.
Well, probably not for the victims of these dipsh*ts.
Man Named Kool-Aid Stabbed 12 TimesDid you know that bad things sometimes happen even in Iowa? I know - I was shocked too. In Dec. 2011, Christopher Leonard (24) told his wife he was going away for a long time and he was going to stab Kool-Aid - who, as everyone knows, is the alias of Clinton resident David Rockwell. Kool-Aid later told police that Leonard told him that the knife was fake, but I don't know why he would ever believe anything out of someone with so many neck tattoos. Either way, he got stabbed at least 12 times, mainly in the back, which is not where a true friend stabs you.
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