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Tattoo Causes a Permanent ErectionThe male arousal drug Viagra suggests that you call your doctor immediately if an erection lasts longer than four hours. An erection that lasts longer than four hours is only good if you're in the bedroom and are named Sting.
Your tattoo artist suggests you consult a doctor after three months of having your new penis tattoo.
According to January 3, 2012's edition of The Journal of Sexual Medicine (NSFW), the "first case of non-ischemic priapism following penile tattooing," has occurred. The report details the observations made by doctors of an Iranian man, who after he had the brilliant idea to tattoo "good luck on your journeys," in Persian with his girlfriend's initials at the end on his penis, is now unable to be at anything less than half mast at all times. Forever.
How did this not seem like a bad idea to anyone? Doesn't he know that it's a bad luck to get the name of your significant other tattooed anywhere on your body, let alone your penis? That's the one spot future girlfriends will definitely be looking at.
What's he going to do once she dumps him for being a complete and utter idiot? Try to find another girlfriend with the initial "M," I suppose.
Apparently, the side effects aren't too disconcerting for the man, though, as he is no longer seeking corrective procedures. AKA, he thankfully (probably) doesn't work around any children.
Nevertheless, the doctors and researchers who authored the article conclude that "considering this case, we discourage penile tattooing." Thanks to those good doctors for that piece of sound advice.
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