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10 Ideal "Deadliest Warrior" Match-ups.
Christian Krauspe If you love watching "Deadliest Warrior" as much as I do, then you're probably going over and over in your head about who your fantasy battle-royal would be between. We all know -- Spartans don't wear clothes and kick ass, Ninjas take no s**t from anyone, and Russian Spetsnaz Commandos do really cool dance/shooting combos. But let's think a little bit more modern. Let's think about what we see every day, and who we would want to see beat the s**t out of each other.
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- 1
Mounties VS. Best Buy Door Security
“ A battle for the ages! On one side you have the nicest police force known to man, taking people down for littering and not buttoning the top buttons of shirts, and on the other side you have 2-3 large men who intimidatingly greet you and want to see a receipt for your purchase of "Step Up 3-D." „ - 2
Third Shift 7/11 Worker VS. Creepy Drunks
“ A sure fire slobber-knocker! Armed with less than $20 bucks in cash and a desire to just get their DJ career started, this 3rd shirt 7/11 employee will stop at nothing in the fight against the Creepy Drunk! The Creepy Drunk is crafty and incoherent! Years of training by harassing people leaving their local PF Changs, the Creepy Drunk is well-versed in the art of combat! „ - 3
Righteously Indignant Soccer Mom VS. Outlet Mall Parking Patrol
“ A blood boiling battle to the end! The Soccer Mom is armed with crassness, contempt, and Crate and Barrel coupons! The Outlet Mall Parking Patrol is armed with a rejection letter from every state college! Have at it! „ - 4
Foreign Costumer Service Rep VS. The Elderly
“ This is one hell of a match up! People who speak an indecipherable against people who couldn't hear a plane land in their backyard! One dreams of making it big as a doctor while the other has slaughtered 30 Germans at the battle of the bulge! Fight! Fight! Fight! „ - 5
Rednecks VS. German Goth Kids
“ A knockdown-dragout death match! Ignorance v. Apathy! Banjo v. techno beats! Dixieland pride v. eyeliner! „ - 6
South Boston Disgruntled Youths VS. Fanatic Harry Potter Fans
“ Both sides are horribly insane. Both sides will defend what they love until their last breath. And both sides know little to nothing of the outside world! Kill! Kill! Kill! „ - 7
Early 90's LA Cops VS. Sketchy Strip Club Bouncers
“ Cocaine, hookers, corruption. All in a days works for these two camps. „ - 8
Sarah Palin VS. Common Sense
“ I shouldn't have to say anything. „ - 9
Guys That Are Way Too Into UFC VS. Guys Who Just Bought Their First Motorcycle
“ Who truly has the smaller penis? You decide! „ - 10
Small Town TaeKwonDo Instructor VS. The Shell of Their Former Self
“ He was once a blossoming martial arts star who shook hands with Chuck Norris and told everyone after that Chuck was thinking of using him as stunt man in his next blockbuster. Now, he struggles to pay rent in a small town community center karate studio. It's all a question of who wants it MORE!?! „
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