fictional characters 10 Most Adorable Cartoon Drug Addicts  

analise.dubner
145.0k views 10 items Embed
When I was a kid, the drug problems of these characters were never apparent. So what if Wimpy had an obvious food addiction problem? He was eating plates and plates of burgers! Hilarious! Did it occur to me that Shaggy was constantly stoned? No. They could have shown him smoking a fatty onscreen and I wouldn't have batted an eye. After all, there were crooked realtors to unmask! Shady property developers to expose! Cartoons have depicted substance abuse since the beginnings of cartoons, and they still do it today.

Who are the best alcoholic cartoon characters? Remember, kids, stay off drugs. Unless they provide comic relief.... then it's totally ok.
1

Shaggy


Shaggy is listed (or ranked) 1 on the list 10 Most Adorable Cartoon Drug Addicts
Photo: via Tumblr

The effects of marijuana are described as: problems with memory and learning, distorted perception, trouble with thinking and problem solving, loss of motor coordination, increased heart rate, and anxiety.

Let's just forget for a moment that Shaggy was constantly paranoid and hungry. Instead, let's use pot as an explanation for why Shaggy - as a supposed non-developmentally challenged adult - would find himself terrified to the point of incontinence by realtors draped in sheets or wearing $5 Halloween masks.

Conclusion: Total stoner. Frankly, I would toke up as often as I could if I were stuck in a van with Fred and his insufferably patronizing ascot.

Wild Bill Cat is listed (or ranked) 2 on the list 10 Most Adorable Cartoon Drug Addicts
Photo: via Tumblr

Created initially as the anti-Garfield, there probably wasn't a drug that Bill didn't use. He was a movie star, politician, rock star and corpse. And during each phase of his career, he never stopped living the catatonic life of a user. They SAY that his friends helped him kick his drug habit during his film career where he gained fame in such epics as Orangestoke: The Legend of Bill and Lord of the Monkeys. But after his death and subsequent cloning - followed by short stint with a cult - it could never be said that Bill ever really gave up on drugs. Case in point, the pop-eyed stare, constant smoking, and inability to utter more than gutteral grunts.

Conclusion: Dead.

Also Ranked

#52 on The Greatest Cats in Cartoons & Comics, Ranked by Fans

see more on Wild Bill Cat

Ranker Video
Video: YouTube

Barney has cleaned up his act a few times, but the fact is the guy's a hardcore drinker. Dude has licked beer off the street and sucked beer out of the taps at Moe's. He's only occasionally employed and when he did get an opportunity to turn his life around as an astronaut, he got drunk on non-alcoholic champagne and relapsed into his alcoholism.

Conclusion: Alcoholic

Also Ranked

#12 on Simpsons Characters Who Most Deserve Spinoffs

#17 on The Best Fat Cartoon Characters on TV

#11 on The Greatest Jovial Fat Guys in TV History

see more on Barney Gumble

Mighty Mouse is listed (or ranked) 4 on the list 10 Most Adorable Cartoon Drug Addicts
Photo: Freebase/Fair use

So, you're telling me that you get an increased sense of self importance and empowerment right after you snort your "magic powder", Mr. Mighty? Interesting.

Of course, this was just the Ralph Bakshi version of Mighty Mouse, so I'm trying to be fair here. Fair.

But he was a total cokehead.

Conclusion: Cokehead

Also Ranked

#37 on The Best Kids Cartoons of All Time

#98 on The Best Cartoons of All Time

#35 on The Greatest Talking Animals in TV History

#88 on The Greatest Cartoon Characters in TV History

see more on Mighty Mouse