Shrek WeddingCan 12 year olds get married? While this may be a great idea around the bouncy house, "Shrek/Fiona" style weddings are sooooo 2003 (that's right, THAT'S the problem we have with this).
But if you have to go the way of the green one, commit to it (ya, know like when you're getting married).
Don't cue a cover version (real Stevie Wonder not good enough for you?) of "Isn't She Lovely", suck it up and go with the Counting Crowes song or, for that matter, ANY song that has been in a Shrek movie.
This also makes your guest envision what the wedding night will look like. Yup, must be doing Ogre style.
The saddest part: nobody else at the wedding is in Shrek garb.
Superhero WeddingLittle girl: "Mommy, when I grow up I want to get married around a bunch of superheroes!"
Mommy: "Daddy's not spending $20,000 on that."
Well, bridesmaids of the world, you can no longer complain about having to pay $400 for an ugly dress you will never wear again.
This guy got all his buddies dressed up in tights as a warm-up for his wedding night. Classy.
We don't know how much the codpieces cost, but we do know how much the inevitable forced-cosplay will cost on the lives of their children (emotionally)... and it ain't cheap.
Man, those guys are nerds... Also, the Post-Crisis DC Universe Batman has absolutely NOTHING to do with the Batman from the 1960s television and none of the Justice League EVER showed up in even a single episode, not even the movie that followed the series.
Hello Kitty WeddingWarning to all grooms! Most men just want to let the woman handle the wedding; it is her day, afterall. But be wary: no person (male or female) should tune out the fiancée when words like "Hello Kitty" come up -- it may take some practice.
The groom in this video seems shockingly surprised as he smiles through locked teeth... sorry pal, this is really happening.
Guess what the rest of your life looks like? That's right, Hello Kitty EVERYWHERE. Toilet seats, television embroidery, place mats, pens, and yes, even steering wheel covers.
Oh, and it turns out the media was alerted for this guy's emasculation ceremony. The best part of this video is when they both turn the corner and the male Hello Kitty struts proudly to the slow motion film and dramatic music. That Hello Kitty walkabout in a tuxedo (why do they even make those?) is the man of the hour, he looks so proud. It'd be really cute if this wasn't the thing these people have to show their kids in 15 years.
The Destination WeddingThe Destination Wedding is not as goofy as some of these others... however, it needs to end.
I don't want to spend five grand to go to your wedding and spend the weekend meeting your in-laws who I will most likely not see again until their funeral.
Sure, I would love to spend the weekend in Aruba, Paris or Thailand. But if I am going to any of those places, I will be doing things your in-laws should not be privy to.
C'mon the Reidel decanter and cheese cutting set should be enough of an investment to prove my love to you. Now go and have your OWN honeymoon.
Indiana Jones WeddingNothing says "marriage" like pitfalls, rolling boulders and a Tibetan bar fight.
Look, it's bad enough you are wearing a fedora already, but did you need the whip? You'll be seeing more than your fair share of the whip for the rest of your life (get it? I made a marriage joke!).
In this video you will see an example of a man who:
1. Made the wedding about HIM, instead of the wife (please name a more prominent character in Indiana Jones than Indiana Jones).
2. Tries to crack a whip within a few feet of toddlers.
3. Can't crack a whip, yet holds an Indiana Jones themed wedding.
All of this being listed, please just take our advice and keep your wedding romantic. Whatever it is you want to do, that's fine, it's your day, but please for the love of God think of what your family, friends and children will have to go through when they describe what they're taking the day off work for the next day.
Will somebody please, PLEASE think of the children?
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