10 Most Obnoxious Wedding Themes of All Time Anything

10 Most Obnoxious Wedding Themes of All Time

DaveHoward DaveHoward Ranker
Staff
89,005 views 10 items
After we saw the news of the couple in Japan who were married by a robot ( http://ow.ly/1NOiPAh), we realized it's time for June, a.k.a. Wedding Season. It's the time of year when the sanctity of marriage and love are celebrated with crab cakes, white frosting and drunken bridesmaids giving it up for pre-screened strangers. Here are the most insane and ridiculous wedding themes we have ever seen. But hey, look at this this way: they're better than Vegas!... Kind of.

Alas, while some people are still not allowed to partake, there are others who should not be allowed to join in the fun. You know who I am talking about, these are the folks whose passions for a hobby rank as holier than both the sacred word of God or the exalted slurring of a Dean Martin impersonator. Until these weirdo wedding rituals are absolved... weddings aren't safe for anyone.

Be sure to check out Ranker's other lists like, The Best April Fools Pranks, 80's Catch Phrases and Medieval Torture
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  1. 1

    Renn Faire Wedding

    Let's start off on the right hoof.

    Ah, the wedding of Torack the Troll and the Fairy; 'twas quite magickal.

    If you are going to do the whole Renn Faire thing, learn an accent that doesn't sound straight out of an Alabama filling station...

    Also, here's a note when writing your wedding vows: don't give a shout-out to the other hearty wenches in the crowd.

    Please notice how the woman's face is hidden (displaying the mercy of her husband-elect) throughout the entire ceremony.

    Also, never EVER mention your ex-wife in your wedding vows.

    On top of that don't you want to get married when you look your BEST? But then again, maybe this is his best.

    Look, I love mead and turkey legs (which by the way... are native to North America - woop woop) as much as the next guy, but c'mon, folks, there's obviously a time and a place... a long, long time ago in a place that doesn't exist.
  2. 2

    Second Life Wedding

    'When planning my wedding, I was worried about inconveniencing my guests. I was given some advice: "Have you ever gone to wedding and thought afterward 'My, that was convenient.'

    This Second Life wedding is the opposite of "The Destination Wedding" (#9) it's tooooooo convenient.

    The gown takes a few moments to design, the bridesmaid dresses don't really cost anything and the viewer can choose their own favorite snack cake to enjoy in front of their keyboard. . But c'mon it's a wedding! It's time for some real interaction here.

    Unless your actual marriage (and the consumation) is gonna take place in a chat room, maybe it's time to hone some social skills.

    But hey, at least this type of wedding makes it easy to pick out the jarretière.. yummy!
  3. 3

    Confederate Wedding

    C'mon... the war is over, the South lost.

    For the most part, the traditions and styles of this bygone era have been completely relegated to the selective memory of "Gone With The Wind." This is akin to re-ancting the Gore loss over and over again. If anyone was still alive that actually fought in the Civil War they would tell you: "Who the hell remembers this fondly?"

    But hey, here's to at least being thankful that they're nestled in a part of the country where they most likely don't have any black friends because otherwise...ummm, AWKWARD.

    The funniest part is at 04:15 when the (almost frighteningly) Aryan child is shown for WAY too long and is then followed by shots of a family forced to dress in the most unflattering garb imaginable. The women are miserable and the men are embarrassed... yep, THIS couple will be popular come the holidays.
  4. 4

    The NASCAR Wedding

    Living life in the fast lane? Try the NASCAR WEDDING. What really lacks on these weddings, as far as authenticity is concerned, is the feel of the farmer tan sunburns exposed in the crowd via sleeveless, drooping white shirts with eagles on them and the scantily clad women showing off their hooters for the drivers before going to their night job at an actual Hooters. It'd be interesting to see how the NASCAR husband/wife got home after the wedding, I bet there's some epic drunk driving videos of the couple.

    Sure, this couple to the left is renewing their vows, but at least every other wedding on this list has either weirdo or nerd love involved. Everyone in the wedding is playing a character they feel represents THEM and expressing their love for each other via fantastical parallels.

    Here they got a NASCAR has-been to get ordained online after winning a contest.

    NASCAR wedding is not for those with, you know, "emotions". Also, I bet after this wedding there are probably some epic
  5. 5

    Star Trek/Klingon Wedding

    A Klingon Wedding goes like this:

    1. Captain Kordite's website indicates, Klingon wedding vows proclaim "we join one another, one becomes two, two becomes a household, houses become armies, armies build the empire."

    2. The Couple takes two steps backwards to stand back to back.

    3. The officiate draws a dagger which he holds above their heads.

    4. The couple reaches up with their right hands and grasp the blade palm down.

    5. The couple turns to the left to face each other.

    6. The officiate lowers the blade to waist level, the couple's hands still atop the blade.

    7. The officiate places his hand on top of the couple's hands. (source: http://www.tasigh.org/kordite/wedding.html)

    YIn (Life)! Batlh.(Honor)! Qapla' (Success)!

    It's awesome how other cultures view this right of passa... wait... this isn't a real race of people!

    I'm probably gonna get killed on this, but I don't believe there is a Klingon wedding in any of the movies or TV Shows. So even inferring all of this is kind of a stretch.

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  1. Kendrick Aud
    10 Most Obnoxious Wedding Themes of All Time at 9/28/2012 11:30 PM
    Word up to the weird weddings! WHAT!
  2. Sheila
    Confederate Wedding at 10/28/2010 12:32 AM
    To look at a normal little girl shown for the same time as everyone else and call her Aryan, it takes a racist. Plus only the main crew were in period dress, guests were in normal garb and everyone had fun. You have problems, man.
  3. nurseddie
    Confederate Wedding at 8/24/2010 9:45 AM
    What dumb-ass wrote this post? It's not a "confederate wedding" (note the American flag flying, you moron...and the union soldiers as well)...it's a civil war wedding...and while certainly a bit over-the-top for most, it certainly isn't racist but more like the wedding of enthusiastic history buffs...duh...
  4. crzygirl
    10 Most Obnoxious Wedding Themes of All Time at 6/22/2010 1:24 PM
    hmm having nascar wedding vows? weird, but i guess all of these are a little awkward. are traditional weddings just too boring? or why would people do such a thing to the most beautiful day in a couple's life. WEIRD
    1. kittypurr33
      10 Most Obnoxious Wedding Themes of All Time at 6/22/2010 1:26 PM
      Seriously! weird wedding themes is something i never got. i would NEVER do such a thing to my wedding day.
  5. jdemo23
    10 Most Obnoxious Wedding Themes of All Time at 6/22/2010 1:22 PM
    Haha wtf. These are def the worst wedding themes. I see weird divorces in their f*ture
  6. Chris
    10 Most Obnoxious Wedding Themes of All Time at 6/22/2010 1:20 PM
    Haha they need a tv show on the weird weddings episodes. These are funny and definitely obnoxious
    1. GoBruins
      10 Most Obnoxious Wedding Themes of All Time at 6/22/2010 1:28 PM
      I'd rather see obnoxious weddings where people do something crazy- like say "no" to the groom. Thad be funny too. = This list is just weird weddings that show how bizarre some people are.
  7. justin38454
    Star Trek/Klingon Wedding at 5/29/2010 8:09 PM
    Sorry one geek here, Klingo Wedding Ceremony, Star Trek Deep Space Nine, Season Six, Episode 07, " You are cordially invited". Worf Marries Dax. Sorry charlie, of course, it's sad that I know this. :(
  8. Manticore Pinion
    10 Most Obnoxious Wedding Themes of All Time at 5/24/2010 9:19 PM
    You wish Second Life weddings were done like that. I've been forced to go to several, and have been around for the planning of some too, and they're nearly as "labor" intensive as real life weddings, as sad as it is.

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