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Baby Laugh A Lot...Like a DemonvOne thing that horror movies have taught us over the last couple of decades is that we should be terrified of children - especially the incessant, hollow laughter of a little girl.
Where did these images and sounds of horror originate, you ask? Well, in my opinion, the root of all evil comes from this very commercial.
The Doll That Wants to Kill YouvThis doll whispers in your ear and tells you that it has a secret. Watching this commercial inspires ideas that the secret about to be told has less to do with something innocuous, such as liking red shoes, and more to do with that foul smell coming from the basement.
The Wendy's Devil Starev"Oh what a nice little commercial about Wendy's. Hmm, I think I might just go ahead and get myself a...OH MY GOD WHAT THE hell JUST HAPPENED?!"
Exactly. The weird stare given by Wendy at the end of this commercial is not only an omen of the apocalypse, but it's the reason I turn the TV off before I fall asleep. Now if only I could sleep with the lights off...
Humpty Dumpty Sat On a Wall and Haunted Children's Dreamsv"Hey Bill, I've got this awesome idea for a commercial to promote our chocolate."
"Do you, Jenkins? Well, I'd like to hear it."
"First of all, there will be no intelligible words, it'll all be gibberish."
"Gibberish? But how will people know what it's about?"
"Well, I was thinking that we'd put in a character that looks like a cross between Humpty Dumpty and a deformed child from either deliverance or the movie "Freaks"...you know, something the kids will connect with."
"Ah, right...that makes sense. I was a little worried there for a second. Here's a million dollars."
And then this commercial, starring a creature that I honestly believe skins children for sustenance, was made.
The PS3 Advertises to Satan's SpawnvIn this commercial, Sony explicitly dictates its intentions: it wants to grab children at a young age and force them to worship their game playing monolith that is the PS3 with demonic fervor. If your consciousness hasn't already been captured by the game system, then this advertisement will do plenty to forcibly stamp itself upon your mind.
The terrifying part of this video is not only the tone, but all the symbolic implications on our children and our children's children.
Nintendo Threatens Its Players with Demon Voicesv"You cannot beat us." That's all they really say, which wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for the demonic voices they use to say it.
The Most Horrifying Food Commercial You'll Ever SeevAt least it appears like this commercial is selling food. It seems strange that someone thought that grinding meat, a frightened chicken coupled with a haunting voice-over, a porn soundtrack, and quick cuts would make anyone hungry.
The PSA of DeathvThis PSA on the dangers of playing around swampy pools seems to suggest that the only way we can ever get children to listen is to scare the living s**t out of them by making threats about how they'll be killed if they disobey.