10 Subjects EVERYONE'S an Expert On

The number one issue that absolutely everyone’s an expert on is religion. Is Catholicism the one true religion? Ask a Catholic, they’ll tell you it certainly is. Are Jews the chosen people? Ask a Jew, and they'll explain why. Is Islam the only way to receive God’s graces? Just find a Muslim and they’ll educate you on why that’s correct. Or is there no God? Are all these religions just full of bunk? For that answer, a God-less, college educated, dope smoking liberal will clue you into just how right that is.

If religion is 1A with its number of experts, then politics is certainly 1B. According to Democrats, all Republicans are ignorant, trigger happy hicks who have no place in our country. According to Republicans, all Democrats are tree-hugging wussies who ALSO have no place in our country. And according to Independents, both parties are equally stupid and they wonder why there’s no place in our country for more than two opinions.

Ever wonder who the stupid people are in this world? Well, it won’t take long find out because all you have to do is ask the closest person next to you they’ll let you know who it is. Of course, the more people you ask, the more you’ll realize just how much people might disagree on this. So who are the real idiots? Well, the one thing everyone CAN agree on is the fact that they are not one of them.

It’s an eternal battle. Do you like it coming over the top, or do you prefer the roll unspooling so you reach around the back? Whatever personal preference a person may have on the subject, the one thing you can be convinced of is that they will never falter on their quest to make sure all rolls face the correct way.

So you just saw "Avatar" and you’re convinced that it’s a terrific movie. Might be the best you’ve ever seen. In your excitement you run to tell your friends and one of them spills the beans by telling you that, no, that’s not the best movie ever. In fact, that movie really sucks. Now if you want to watch a REALLY good movie, just take a look at John Cassavette’s "The Killing of a Chinese Bookie." Who’s right? Well, with so many experts in the room, it’s hard to tell.