10 Useless Exercises You Don't Need To Do Anymore By DaveHoward [10 more lists]

For many years people have been pushing a ton of unnecessary exercises on us. Here are the ones you can skip in favor of more important things, like eating.

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Face Stretches

The hair, the high-cut bodysuit, the faces. Oh how we don't miss the 80's. Now it's reasonable to view your facial muscles as muscles like the rest of your body, but it's not reasonable to go completely AWOL with your "facial stretches." I love how the lady in the video gets wiped out at 02:12 after performing the most hideous facial spasm. That must have taken a lot of ugly energy to do. As you can see in this video, there is no exercise that you can do to erase that "Too many years snortin blow in The Rainbow bathroom with a promising local band" look. That lady's got it down.

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Jumping Jacks

Perhaps the most primary move in exercise--remember 5th grade Physical Education?--jumping jacks also exist today as the most laughable fitness trick. Just look at the Iraqi Army the US is training. Even they know we're idiots for having implemented this so long in our routine that they're practically making a joke out of it. Either that or they really don't have the coordination for this "advanced" move. We spent millions of dollars on this, but let's face it, besides 80's sex comedies, jumping jacks really have no purpose. They don't achieve any substantial kind of cardio, strength or core training. I don't think they even burn calories. Have you ever seen someone try and sell a "Abs through Jumping Jacks video?"

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Shake Weight

Shake Weight is a exercise product for the horny, single, middle-aged ladies in America. Who have no scientific knowledge of any sort. Riding on a tagline of "dynamic inertia," which is nonsensical in it of itself, Shake Weight claims to sculpt arms and shoulders despite a lack of range of motion. That basically slaps all data of muscle and strength building in the face. The infomercial also touts around the fact that users will be able to "feel it instantly." Well, we all know what "it" is.

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Toe Raisers

Alyssa Milano has accomplished a lot for the kingdom of single, lonely men in her years as a sexy actress. Not to mention her unattainability and great seats for the Dodgers. This chick is every guy's fantasy. Too bad her whole "Toe Raisers" exercise idea shown from 0:05 to 0:51 in the video that she tried to con us a while back is also a fantasy. She tried to make the exercise seem intelligible by calling it "pronating" and "supernating" when normal folk would just see it as shifting your weight from the heel to the toes. Alyssa and her crew also faked panting breath throughout the video, but that might just be punishment for their horrid rapping.

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Finger Tip Pushups

Ladies: Ever been out to a Jersey Shore bar and wondered "Man, he has some thick, toned, tanned, stacked, fingers. Slice me up somma that?" Well, go back home to your skinny, pasty-as-hell guy and make him do finger tip pushups. Now, don't get me wrong, finger tip push ups don't really increase the effect of a normal pushup. However, people just think they look cool while doing it. Let's take it from the master, Jack LaLane. There's nothing like bloated confidence to make up for the fact that the exercise is essentially useless.

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Deep Knee Bends

Or should we say deep knee bends in your underwear with sexy music in the background. All three of these killer components will just about kill your grandma if she'd ever walk in. But seriously, deep knee bends can be brutal on your knees. Much of the damage though doesn't come from the exercise itself but the way it's performed, including variables like speed of descent, size of calves and thighs, and strength of the controlling muscles. Common mistakes that lead to injury are bouncing out of the bottom position, dropping down too fast, and leaning so far forward that the lower back is stressed. Even if you take those precautions though, make sure you're not that guy.

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Hip Abductors

Every single time I go to the gym, I see a woman using this worthless machine. Well this is one case where a woman should follow a man's example because these things are inefficient. You can actually get a lot more stimulus from doing more full-bodied leg workouts like squats or deadlifts. Isolated moves like those on a machine don't do half as much. Also, think of the range of motion. How often to you find yourself spreading and retracting your thighs against something heavy? That's right, never.

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Traditional Sit Ups

As much as traditional sit ups may look like they work the abs, you can do a hundred of them a day and still have a tire round your waist. The reason is this: situps primarily engage the psoas, the muscles which run from the lower back around to the front of the thighs. Situps are also major back killers. The movement actually grinds the vertebrae in your lower back as tension in the psoas encourages the lower back to move into an exaggerated arch. To prevent the lifelong pain and frustration, switch to using ab machines, balls, and lower back strengtheners. You'll be much more pleased.

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Twists

The Torso/Broomstick twists were once thought to be a cure for love handles. Alas, they weren't a cure for anything. Twists, a lateral movement exercise, have never been proven to tone anything besides your lower back. You only feel like your oblique muscles are working but in reality your only compressing the sides of your stomach together. What'll really get those obliques toned rotational movements like bicycle crunches.

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Upright Row

The Upright Row is just about the worst thing you can do for your shoulders. It places the shoulder in internal rotation as the arm is raised which doesn't give enough space for the greater tubercle to clear the acromion. What that means is, it compresses the nerves in the shoulder area, which can lead to tendon and bursae inflammations. It's also known to accelerate rotator cuff degeneration. Another reason to leave this exercise behind and work a front or lateral shoulder raise instead.

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Showing items 1 - 5 of 10

Face Stretches

Jumping Jacks

Shake Weight

Toe Raisers

Finger Tip Pushups

Deep Knee Bends

Hip Abductors

Traditional Sit Ups

Twists

Upright Row