13 Most Cringeworthy Male Genitalia Accidents

Stuart Keen, a 54 year-old carpenter from Wantage, England, was just doing what he does best- building. This time, the project was a large wooden cabinet. Everything was going according to plan, until the saw he was using slipped and sliced off his penis.

First of all, how does that even happen? Was he naked? How does a slip cut off your penis? I understand a cut on the penis...but not cutting it off. The Sunday Telegraph was curious and went to interview Keen about the incident.

His mother, of all people, was quoted as saying "This was an unfortunate accident, but these things happen all the time to people in his profession." I beg to differ with that quote, I would say more people suffer from lost of fingers than loss of penis. Not even LOSS of fingers, LOSS OF THE TIP maybe, but very few times does a whole finger go...let alone a whole penis.

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It's the middle of the night in Romania. 67 year-old Constantin Mocanu, from a village near the southeastern town of Galati, can't sleep because of a noisy chicken in his field. He hustled out into his yard to silence wearing only his boxer shorts.

Mocanu takes a swing at the chicken with his knife, and slices something....but it's not the chicken's neck. Macanu has sliced off his own penis, now his penis is on the ground a few feet away. Let's me take a moment and think about these logistics, how low is this man's penis? Or is the chicken on a fence...and then the question is how high is this man's penis? And why is it a few feet away? A few inches sure...but feet?

This story gets worse, his dog runs over to the penis and eats it. The dog ate his penis. What are you feeding your dog that he thinks a penis is food? Normally, a dog will sniff something and then eat it...why does the dog think your penis smells like food?

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A man by the name of Huang in China decided it would be a good idea to have an affair with an 18 year-old girl and let his wife, Li, find out about it. She asked for a divorce, but he said no, and apparently in China, that's the end of that debate.

Anyway, two years pass. Huang gets diarrhea and asks Li for some medication; Li decides this is the perfect time to slip her disloyal husband some sleeping pills. Huang passes out and Li proceeds to go to work on her husband with a fruit knife, completely removing his testicles.

After his wife's arrest, Huang pleaded police to be lenient on her, because he somehow felt responsible for the whole thing. I guess Huang was responsible for the whole thing, seeing how he was unfaithful and got caught. But let's look at Li in this mess. She waited two years, and surgically removed the whole package. That takes a whole lot of patience, this chick was planning that for years! You've got to give credit where credit is due.

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Edgardo Toucet Echevarria was working at a company called F*ture Foam in Florida when his boss told him to take a piece of foam that had been stuck in a machine out before it caused problems. He obliged, despite the fact that he had no formal training whatsoever on how to operate the machine, and ended up closing it on his midsection, cutting off both his penis and balls.

He's now suing, and one of the claims in his lawsuit is "loss of capacity for the enjoyment of life."

That sounds about accurate.

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A business man in Singapore decided to have a private meeting with his secretary out in his car. The secretary was performing oral sex on her boss when a van struck the back of the car they were in. The violent force of the accident caused the secretary's jaw to clench and she involuntarily bit off her bosses penis.

If you have a secretary, I bet that means you have an office, and I bet that office has door...that you can close. Why would you go to the car to a bj? Unless he figured he didn't want to do that on company time and was using his lunch hour...but still...just tuck her under the desk like a normal boss!

There goes all those long hours of hard work she put into getting a raise.
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