A recent list by the Frisky ( http://thefrisky.com/relationships/?cnn=yes ) advised mothers on 18 things to teach their sons about women, in order to improve relationships among these vastly different species. This list would work if all women fit the stereotypical mold of a Cathy comic. Also, what if your son is gay? What advice do you have then, Frisky? This list applies to REAL women.
This is good advice...for anyone. Not just for your son and how he deals with women. For example, when you're already late for work, don't start reorganizing your Tupperware drawer, it's not worth your time.
Walk On The Outside Closer To The Street Of Your Female Companion
Also, throw your coat across puddles. And walk on the inside of her on streets where they throw their human waste out the window. Open the door for her, order for her at restaurants. Don't let her speak for herself.
And is this really supposed to be because you are protecting her from cars? Are you gonna stick your hand out and stop the car from hitting her? Just like your hand is gonna keep that mattress in place while you drive down the highway.
Cooking And Cleaning And Taking Care of Kids Are Things Men Can Actually Do As Well As Women ...
What? Are you serious? Men can take care of kids...and cook and clean? I thought my ability to cook and clean was directly related to the fact that I have a uterus. You just blew my mind.
Seriously, is this still an issue? It's 2009, almost 2010, can we move past the "women cook and clean"/ men watch football stereotypes. Apparently not if you watch any commercial advertising cooking or cleaning products. I'm constantly annoyed at commercials for cooking and cleaning products that depict men as bumbling Neanderthals who don't know how to boil water.
Plus, look how much you can do with paper towels. They're amazing. Anyone can use them.
Keep Back Up Supplies of Quality Chocolate In The House For Her To Raid
Again, I just feel like this one is depicting a Cathy comic. Don't tell her she's crazy, but if she acts crazy, direct her to the chocolate stash in the pantry, and tell her to come back and talk to you in 3 to 5 days when her cycle is over, because women don't ever get rationally angry or upset, we just get mad when we're menstruating.
Buying Tampons and Other Feminine Products Shouldnt Embarrass You Everyone Knows Theyre Not ...
The reason I wouldn't want my boyfriend or husband to buy feminine products...there's a specific brand I like, I put down "tampons" on a grocery list, who knows what off brand he'll come home with. That and he'll bring home the cheapest one-ply recycled toilet paper. (yes, I read the article on toilet paper and how it hurts the environment, there's a compromise and one of them isn't going to me my chaffed anus)
Umm...doesn't everyone? I feel like this is also subtly saying "Shh, if you can't get your way, just buy her something. Chocolate or flowers or jewelry ...Chocolate flowers...A diamond encrusted chocolate flower."
You can also buy her this awesome t-shirt, which reminds us how rockin' women were in 1959!
Beyonce said it best : Depend on no one else to give you what you want. Women have embraced the ability to make their own money and not be dependent on another being. So if she earns more than you, she got hers. Don't let it threaten you. She got her own crib, drive her own car, you pulling up at the club, gas tank on E, but you are buying all the drinks. ( In this scenario you are Lil Boosie)
Also, if you use her car, make sure you help out with the Automo-BILLS.
That way when you get to the meeting, you can blame your lateness on her, and gloat about your superiority over her. Don't bother telling them that she's late, because she was the one finishing up dinner for the kids and cleaning up and...oh wait, men can cook and clean just as well as women, so why don't you help her and you can both be on time.
Are you telling this list to your son when he's a 10 year old boy? If you don't wanna go shopping, don't go. And if you are an adult, act like one, especially in public. Then when she picks out the paint color you don't like, go home and cry about it til you're a blubbering mess...oh wait, that's frowned upon too.
Just find out what it is, don't buy her flowers. Because you're only supposed to buy her chocolate you can shove in her mouth so she'll stop talking and you can stop pretending you're listening.
I can't even think of how to comment on this one. This sounds like the start to a bad horror film, that would be based on a semi-good Asian horror film. The Red Shoes is actually an amazing film, check it out.
I like how this is proposed as if it's only done by men when listening to women. Smiling and nodding is what we do when we're listening to people who aren't saying anything of importance, or are boring us, or it's more important at the moment to replay our favorite Seinfeld moments in our head, or some people don't know when to take social cues and stop talking like when I'm at my desk eating lunch and reading a book entitled "I Hate Listening to Inane Chit-Chat"
Its Okay To Cry In Front Of Her But Keep The Blubbering To A Minimum
Okay, so yes I think expressing emotions is healthy and I would argue that American culture doesn't really allow for full on expression of any emotion (next time someone really laughs out loud at a joke, watch everyone else's reaction), and I would hope in front of the person you choose to spend your life with, if something were to make you so upset that it caused you to "blubber" that that person would be understanding. Just don't post it on you tube, right after you post a video of yourself eating Vaseline.
Translation: It's okay to marry an ugly girl if they make you laugh, or have some intelligence, because let's be honest, beauty fades. And how likely is it that you would find a woman who is beautiful AND smart AND funny. That's like finding a man who can cook AND clean AND take care of children. What a world!
I think this is better said as "you will never completely understand your partner", whether your partner is male or female. You know why? Because you are not your partner, you are yourself and have you really figured out all the nuances of your own being yet? Probably not. Also (hopefully) people change and grow throughout life, so you should be constantly learning new things about your partner.
Oh Yeah And No One Will Ever Be Good Enough For My Baby
Translation: I've smothered my son and kept him so tightly tied to my apron strings that he has too many mommy issues, and is really just looking for a new "mother figure" in his life.
The video is because there's a line in The Critic where Jay says "In America, we want to marry our mothers."
hehateme 18 Things Men Should Know About Women at 12/03/2009 11:38 AM
has anyone seen that beer commercial with the guy, his girlfriend, and his dog where she asks him if he had to choose between her and his dog, mom and then his beer. hahah typical woman question.
Joce Walk On The Outside Closer To The Street Of Your Female Companion at 11/09/2010 12:01 PM
Actually, this was a traditional way of letting other people know if a woman is available. Back when people walked everywhere, if a woman was walking closer to the road, she was available. If she was walking on the inside, she was already taken.
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18 Things Men Should Know About Women at 12/03/2009 11:38 AM
18 Things Men Should Know About Women at 12/04/2009 12:16 PM
18 Things Men Should Know About Women at 9/13/2010 1:32 AM
18 Things Men Should Know About Women at 12/01/2009 10:42 AM
Walk On The Outside Closer To The Street Of Your Female Companion at 11/09/2010 12:01 PM
18 Things Men Should Know About Women at 11/21/2009 12:59 AM
18 Things Men Should Know About Women at 10/20/2009 4:13 PM
And I fucking hate Cathy. I'm feeling violent after just seeing that fucking picture.
18 Things Men Should Know About Women at 11/21/2009 1:00 AM
18 Things Men Should Know About Women at 10/20/2009 4:14 PM
Down with Cathy.
18 Things Men Should Know About Women at 10/27/2009 10:06 PM
18 Things Men Should Know About Women at 11/21/2009 12:59 AM
Buying Tampons and Other Feminine Products Shouldnt Embarrass You Everyone Knows Theyre Not For You at 10/28/2009 4:21 AM