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How Many Squats She Must Do...
4,000. Every day. Science has spoken and it says that she must do about 4,000 squats every day to not only keep that figure, but to be able to hold that position for so long in almost every shoot she does.
Wearing what we like to call a "cat's cradle" bikini, here she is with long wavy hair and a cute side part once again having trouble getting into a car.
Click here for the full-size image of Coco looking like a lickable candy-cane
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The Fantastic Two
Spider-Man, Captain America, Iron Man, The Fantastic Four, Coco Austin's Butt... all overwhelmingly awesome figures that have at one point overlooked the New York City skyline like in this picture below and not only conquered it, but saved it on various occasions.
Click here for the most heroic picture of absolutely anyone's butt you will ever see. The fact that she's touching her butt the way she is kind of makes it feel like she's doing it to push herself forward since her butt is most likely trying to knock her down. So this is Coco VS. Her Butt... who will win?
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Always keeping with the times, Coco's shown here wearing an Ed Hardy-esque shirt and is shown doing what looks like sitting. Sitting for her must be the most wonderful, comfortable experience as all the cushion displayed in this picture, and the inhumanly trim, perfect legs that fit like gloves into her stockings, should settle comfortably on just about any surface.
Click here for the full-size image of this great moment in butt history
Also, from the same shoot Click here for a picture of her bending over and flexing those side muscles that could probably help her lift a car
Aaaand the splits, for all you gymnastics fans out there.
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And Nobody Ever Washed That Seat Again...
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Those Round, Wonderful, Shiny... Rims
The first time I saw this, I had to squint to see if she was wearing anything on her bottom half. Once I saw the dental-floss-sized bikini "bottom", it was hard not to imagine the car's POV, but then realized that we, the audience, really have the best angle. Her butt, which seems to have its own gravitational pull, is keeping her afloat in this picture and all of us happy.
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On Her Knees, Bending Over
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Caution All Ye Who Dare Enter
Symbolically, this is the most apt, appropriate and kind picture to the viewer. Not only is she in the perfect looking back position, but she's wearing ONLY caution tape. With a butt like hers, you wouldn't know where to start. Imagine yourself at 7 years old, let loose in the biggest toystore in the world and you could have absolutely everything in it... where would YOU start?... exactly.
This caution tape isn't a joke or a cool, industrial art-piece, it is a fair warning for anyone trying to imagine starting to try with her. Good luck, friends, and let your instincts guide you.
Click here for THE cautionary image of our generation.
From the same set, Coco washing off the day
Coco assuming the BEST. POSITION. EVER. and not making an ass out of u OR me!
- 8+ 528- 65
90s-Style Netting For The WIN
Remember the 90s, when everyone was into white netting and sandy beaches? Well, Coco brings this back in this particular picture where we again see her in a compromising position.
After making a career out of sitting, standing and/or posing like this, we have decided that Coco probably has the best peripheral vision out of any working model in the entertainment industry.
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- 10+ 439- 67
Getting Behind On Her Tweets
When this picture of Coco hit the interwebs, everyone and their hearts were aflutter because it almost looked like the person taking it (read: her) MUST have been using some kind of trick lens. The only trick lens in this picture was nature.
Click here for the wonderful full-size image that made Christina Hendricks' butt delete its Twitter account.
Also, with all due respect, dear reader, if you didn't do one of THESE , then there is something physically wrong with you and the authorities have now been contacted.
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Black Thong. That Is All.
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Please Let There Be More Vents Around
Coco dressed up as a saucy Marilyn Monroe is perfect for her blonde, curvy figure. Few people could pull this off correctly, but Coco really takes the cake in this vegas shot of her wishing every president ever a happy birthday.
Click here for full size image of her full-size... er... dress.
Aaaand from the front
Click here for more of Coco showing us exactly how amazing she looks in a dress, and how whenever she gets one on, it turns into spandex
- 13+ 423- 80
The Miami Incident
And so begins the epic journey into (the world of) the greatest ass on the internet (Click the links in the text on this list for full-size galleries and pics). We can all see that Ice-T has been with her for so long for a reason, I mean, how could you leave this behind? Bathing on the beach, Coco Austin leaves no pore un-oiled and no photographer behind (well...). With curves and valleys that rival most double black diamond slopes, arguably the best Coco butt pics of all time are the set of her at the beach in Miami while BARELY wearing a red bikini.
Coco bending over, probably fetching something awesome.
Coco's butt getting a tan, enjoying the sun, existing on another realm of awesome.
Where'd the thong go?
Absolutely, without a doubt, the world's greatest flotation device
Snorkeling, fighting against physics to stay underwater
Without using words, this is how you will feel after you get through this entire list: Click here
Click here for updates on the livechat.
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POVlovian Reactions to Shiny Things
In this beach outing, we got to see her butt from a point of view meant for only Ice-T. This POV balanced her tan and the sun perfectly to show us just how how it was where she was sunbathing, and just the amount of browning it takes to get her slightly tan, smooth color.
Click here for full size image that reminds us all that the f**king SUN gets to have all the fun.
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Working Things Out At They Gym
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WHERE IS YOUR GOD NOW?
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The Butt-Cleavage That CHANGED. EVERYTHING.
The first picture I ever saw of Coco's ass and the first time I ever saw butt-cleavage that if you were to take the picture at a lower angle could pass for enormous breasts, this moment takes the cake as the second greatest Coco booty moment in her history. When a dress is built for BUTT cleavage, you know you have Batman-caliber tailors working around the clock to make custom clothes for an booty that just won't give up.
Click here for full size image that gives Kim Kardashian's butt nightmares.
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The Tanning Salon Picture That Made Barbie Start Eating
Coco proving that she's absolutely amazing in (tanning) bed, stripping down to her tailored birthday suit, HAS to be the second greatest moment in her butt's history in that we finally see it in its full, uninterrupted glory.
Click here for the full-size image that not only renders JLo's butt obsolete, but useless.
This wonderful nude shot reminds us that not only do women like Coco make the rockin' world go round, but that when we see that round thing in our face, well, frankly, we get... sprung.
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SHE CAN'T CAN'T ANYMORE, CAPTAIN!
With the top of her bathing suit holding on for dear life, Coco decided to go for another very public beach outing where paparazzi and most likely a crowd of dozens standing by watching her walk around... and then turn around.
Full-size pics and galleries:
Coco Turned Around
Coco Austin's booty asserting its dominance over Ice-T and all mankind, with epic sideboob to boot(y)!
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Needs Its Own T-Shirt
Coco's booty is so amazing, that even when it's clothes it really steals the show and drives your imagination to just start racing kind of like when you have a good idea, only a little more focused and a lot hotter.
We have "Faith" in this picture of her on a stripper pole wearing fishnet stockings and a giant shirt-like dress in the first picture that really makes us realize that her butt is about twice the size of a human head. Which rules.