Miley Lightens Ups, So Should Wev
Not since Michael 'Dolphin Boy' Phelps has someone's decision to partake in the good s**t been such a media s**tshow. Yeah, yeah, Miley's people are saying it's salvia, a legal yet powerful hallucinogenic that gives the smoker a short-term LSD-like trip, but we all know that Miley is being filmed taking a hit of the green.
And thanks to Miley's camp reporting that she's smoking salvia, sales have risen 300%. Kids across the U.S.A. are filing in to their local head shops and smoke centers to purchase, 'that stuff that Miley smoked.'
Whether it's actually salvia, most likely weed or an ancient clipping from Walt Disney's 'bush garden,' Miley should probably check her pals for recording devices next time she lights anything up. As for the rest of us, we should continue watching this now-infamous clip of Miley living (or lighting) it up.
For extra laughs, we should also watch the SNL Miley sketch where they address her "drug problem" at 1:22:
Miley Exposing Her 18-Year-Old Bits
We've had a few releases of almost naked, always creepy, Miley pics but never had we been 'privy' to seeing the whole schbang until now. A mere ten days after turning legal, rumored naked pics of Miley posing in her best flannel hit the web.
Now there's always the naysayers who loudly cry "Photoshop!" or "Miley would never do that! She's a virgin and I love her!" But those crazy mofos over at 4chan used their seemingly endless free time to 'prove' that it is Miley, citing other pictures of her wearing the same jewelery and even going as far as to look up the freaking hotel room where she was staying at the time to see if it was the same as the room in the picture (it is).
Since her face is conveniently missing from the shot, only Miley can ever really say if it's her, but when reached for comment, all we could hear was a gurgle from a bong.
Click here to see the evidence for yourself.
Some say Miley's acting s**tty, but Miley clear it all up in an interview where she says: "I feel more comfortable dressing with a little less, which is just how I've always been." Ah, comfort is key.
Miley Bumping and Grinding With an Older Manv
This video was shot last year at the wrap party for "The Last Song" but wasn't leaked until May.
Here we have a 16 year-old Miley grinding on her 45 year-old, albeit gay, director Aaron Shankman. You know, a dude that could be her dad if it weren't for the whole lacking a mullet and liking peen thing, getting his crotch rubbed by her still-in-high school ass to "Get Low." Klazzy.
Needless to say, this video got a lot of attention, pissed off a lot of moms who in turn slammed their wallets shut. As for the daughters, well, let's just say chaperons at school dances are in high demand.
Miley Kinda Kisses a Girl and Denies Itv
2010 marked the start for what's become 'Miley's Equal-Oppurtunity Lips Tour the World.' We've seen her cozy up to boys before but during a performance on "Britian's Got Talent," Miley is seen leaning in for what appears to be a smoochy with one of her female dancers. The world stood aghast at the sight of this young pop vixen smearing lip gloss with a fellow lady.
Miley denies that the two kissed and wrote on her blog, "I promise you I did not kiss her and it is ridiculous that two entertainers cant even rock out with each other without the media making it some type of story. I really hope my fans are not disappointed in me because the truth is I did nothing wrong. I got up there and did my job which is to perform to the best of my ability. I just want to put an end to this right now and just say one thing to everyone out there making this performance such a big deal."
You see! Miley was just rocking out! No need to get your red-state panties in a bunch!
Fast-forward the video to the 1:01 mark to see 'the kiss,' unless you're a masochist, in which case, just press play.
Click here to read Miley's defense.
Miley Takes Her Puppies for a Walk
It seems that during the course of the year, Miley developed some kind of severe allergy to cotton and other cloth-like fibers. Apparently scientists who aren't 16-year-old boys are hard at work creating a type of rebelling-through-sexuality resistant fiber so that Miley can have no fear of clothes once again!
Here we have Miss Cyrus out to brunch with her mother and young sister. As you can see, a lot of time went in to her appearance. She has trendy accessories, braided hair and a holey white t-shirt complete with OMG ARE THOSE HER NIPPLES!
For some reason, Miley's Christian mother Tish, found it appropriate to allow her 17 year-old daughter to leave the house in the bright daylight, surrounded by paps, in a see-through shirt without a bra.
Can we really rag too hard on a girl whose mother condones this kind of dress?
Miley Proves She Can't Be Tamed
2010 was the year that Miley killed Hannah Montana. In an attempt to shed her virginal image, Miley's music video for her song "Can't Be Tamed" is full of gyrations, sexy costumes and 'please look at my hot bod' eye f**king.
Wearing a $25,000 corset, Miley's video is begging us to see her as an adult, the 2010 equivalent of Britney's "I'm A Slave for You."
Don't believe me, take a gander at these lyrics:
For those who don't know me, I can get a bit crazy/Have to get my way, 24 hours a day/'Cause I'm hot like that/Every guy everywhere just gives me mad attention/Like I'm under inspection, I always get the 10s/'Cause I'm built like that.
If those lyrics don't say, "Look at me!" I'm not sure what does.
And for the video, drum roll please:
Miley's Wild Ways Tears Her Family Apart?
In October, news broke that Miley's parents were getting divorced. Most speculation as to the cause was over a rumored affair between Miley's (again) Christian mom, Tish and charming-yet-super-s**tty manwhore, Bret Michaels. Tish and Bret apparently put their P and V together following Bret and Miley's musical collaboration for her cover of "Every Rose Has It's Thorn." Both parties have adamantly denied any affair however, who can't see Tish and Bret rocking and rolling around in his herpes-riddled tour bus?
The National Enquirer took the divorce debate a different way when they cited a 'source' who said that Billy Ray freaked out over Miley's s**tastic behavior and Tish's seemingly lack of caring towards disciplining her. Apparently Billy Ray broke doors, showered Tish with lots of insults and said that enough was enough and wanted a divorce.
Either way you look at it, it seems that Miley is at least indirectly responsible for her parents' achy breaky hearts.
Miley and Her Surprise Tattoos
It's kind of interesting that an underage girl getting tattoos is some of the least shocking behavior on this list.
Miley got her first tattoo last year, the words 'just breathe' under her left illegal tata. Apparently it is a rememberence tattoo, however, rumor on the street is that she had her ex-boyfriend Justin's name etched on her and needed a fix-me-up after their break-up.
This year, Miley added two more tats to her body, the word 'love' on her ear and a heart on her left pinky finger. Miley has said that the 'love' tattoo is so that she only hears love and not bad s**t people say about her, presumably stuff like this and this. No word yet on why she got the heart, although it's simplistic nature makes it look more like a doodle than a tat.
Let's see if she heads the way of her heavily tattooed brother, and former Demi Lovato ex, Trace, who is covered almost from head to toe and he's only 21.
Miley Goes Commando, Peekaboo
All the great Hollywood starlets have done it. From Paris and Britney to Lindsay and Britney again, showing off your vayjay is the hottest way to get your face in the glossies and your name trending on Twitter.
Earlier this year, Perez Hilton posted an underpants-less pic of Miley on his Twitter and received a large amount of unexpected criticism for posting the 'child porn' shot.
Perez eventually removed the pic although 'censored' shots still remain.
Not long after the incident, Miley's lady bits made another surprise appearance, this time during a performance. Miley's barely there leotard seems to have shifted in place revealing her special place to photogs and Fox News who linked to an uncensored version of the picture.
Can you blame Miley for trying to fit into Hollyweird?
Clubbing and 'Holding' Beer
While in Europe, Miley took advantage of their lax drinking laws and was spotted in clubs in Paris and Spain with Twilight's Ashley Green and *gasp* beer!
Miley was photographed holding, NOT drinking, a Corona (that alone should have gotten her in trouble) in a club. The drinking age in Spain is 18, however this isn't strictly enforced. Moms Against Miley (not real, but should be) were all fired up about her illegal behavior but you know what, we're gonna give her this one. She was just a few weeks shy of 18 and come on, it's Europe! They give you wine as soon as your old enough to hold a glass. Plus, it's not like she was caught smoking out of a bong or anything!
Miley seems to keep it more low-key stateside, although it is rumored that she visited Voyeur, a +21 sex-themed club complete with S & M bondage and impromptu performances.
A Corona doesn't seem so bad now, does it?