42 Woody Allen Quotes Quotations
home > Quotations

42 Woody Allen Quotes By   [1 more lists]

I could watch this guy's movies for days. I also like the way he dates. I hope I keep it real for that long...

 
Make a Version Blog View 1 Views: 2672    Items: 42
< >
Show:   25   100
Rank   Name Author Subjects
  1. 1

    80% of success is showing up

    Woody Allen
  2. 2

    Does art imitate life, or does life imitate TV?

    Woody Allen
  3. 3
    How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter? 42 Woody Allen Quotes People picture

    How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?

    Woody Allen
  4. 4

    I don't want to achieve immortality through my work, I want to achieve immortality through not dying

    Woody Allen
  5. 5

    What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.

    Woody Allen
    Disillusion
  7. 6

    What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream? Or what's worse, what if only that fat guy in the third row exists?

    Woody Allen
    Dream
  8. 7

    I don't respond well to mellow, you know what I mean, I have a tendency to... if I get too mellow, I ripen and then rot.

    Woody Allen
    Drug
  9. 8

    Capital punishment would be more effective as a preventive measure if it were administered prior to the crime.

    Woody Allen
    Punishment
  10. 9

    Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage.

    Woody Allen
    Reason
  11. 10

    My one regret in life is that I'm not someone else.

    Woody Allen
    Regret
  12. 11
    A relationship, I think, is like a shark, you know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies. And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark. 42 Woody Allen Quotes People picture

    A relationship, I think, is like a shark, you know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies. And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.

    Woody Allen
    Interpersonal relationship
  13. 12

    If you don't fail now and again, it's a sign you're playing it safe.

    Woody Allen
    Risk
  14. 13

    Interestingly, according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought - particularly for people who can never remember where they left things.

    Woody Allen
    Science and Scientists
  15. 14

    Sex is the most fun you can have without laughing.

    Woody Allen
    Sex
  16. 15

    A Bay Area Bisexual told me I didn't quite coincide with either of her desires.

    Woody Allen
    Sex
  18. 16

    If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank.

    Woody Allen
    Skepticism
  19. 17

    Eighty percent of success is showing up.

    Woody Allen
    Success
  20. 18

    Man consists of two parts, his mind and his body, only the body has more fun.

    Woody Allen
    Body
  21. 19

    I'd never join a club that would allow a person like me to become a member.

    Woody Allen
    Club
  22. 20

    Comedy just pokes at problems, rarely confronts them squarely. Drama is like a plate of meat and potatoes, comedy is rather the dessert, a bit like meringue.

    Woody Allen
    Comedy and Comedians
  23. 21

    I think being funny is not anyone's first choice.

    Woody Allen
    Comedy and Comedians
  24. 22
    Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year. This is quite a profitable sum, especially when one consider that the Mafia spends very little for office supplies. 42 Woody Allen Quotes People picture

    Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year. This is quite a profitable sum, especially when one consider that the Mafia spends very little for office supplies.

    Woody Allen
    Crime and Criminals
  25. 23

    I'm not afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.

    Woody Allen
    Death and Dying
  26. 24

    On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done just as easily as lying down.

    Woody Allen
    Death and Dying
  27. 25

    I don't believe in an after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.

    Woody Allen
    Death and Dying

Showing items 1 - 25 of 42

Post a Comment

my comment is about
Name or :
Get a new challenge Get an audio challenge Help
Incorrect please try again
Post!
Show Comments About:  
  1. nlsn
    42 Woody Allen Quotes at 11/18/2009 3:54 PM
    Comedy is Tragedy + Time
    reply
iPad users, go Landscape for the best experience!