5 Reasons That Make It OK to Get Wasted on Thanksgiving

I know that is a picture of a live turkey. Just breathe. There was nothing else to choose from (and I like rubbing this in your faces).

Upon arrival at the Thanksgiving dinner house/hostel/apartment/hotel room/restaurant, the first thing one usually does is open a nice dark brewski or wine bottle and chill out by the appetizers.

Then comes the turkey. And now that you have a good buzz on, it does not matter how much you consume. Yes, drinking will help you health conscious people consume mass quantities of turkey and ALL of its completely necessary accompaniments. Not only that, but while a sober person may consume one or two pieces of pumpkin, berry, apple or (gasp!) pecan pie, a hammered person may consume three to five.

And guys, trust me, you will not weigh five pounds more the next day. THAT is physically impossible. Also, think of all the times you have gone to go get fast food while drunk. This is the same sitch, but the food at the end of the drunken tunnel is more gourmet.

What is it about this holiday that makes relatives you haven't seen since you were in diapers want to all of a sudden talk to you about Politics?

What, because I am over 18 now and went to college means I am all of a sudden a political genius? Puh, I wish! Give me a Beer, then we'll talk about it.

I don't know about you guys, but during holidays like Thanksgiving, Monopoly is always brought into the living room. This is a game that goes on for DAYS if you want it to. But, when you are drinking on Turkey Day with your family and friends, you will find yourself making up rules that you would have never come up with, and that snotty cousin that meticulously follows the rules will think you are a genius because (surprise surprise) you have managed to get them hammered too.