50 Bizarre State Laws By litgoddess [23 more lists]

C'mon, sing it with me: "Aaaaaaaalabama, Alaska Arizona Arkansas California Colorado...Connecticut." For real, am I the only person who remembers the State Song from 6th grade? What about "Fifty Nifty United States"?

Whatevs. Should you decide to go prancing through any of these backyards, kindly remember that somewhere in the dark recesses of a vinyl and linoleum strewn police station, an 80 yr old volunteer peace officer is poring over a yellowing copy of their Civil/Penal/Vehicle/Municipal code book and lovingly fingering their gold-plated honorary badge.

And with the unemployment rate hitting 10%, I say we bring back some of these jobs.

(I demand kudos for doing 50 items in alphabetical order...it's a pain in the ass)

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1

Alabama

It is illegal to buy a bag of peanuts after sunset and before sunrise the next day in Alabama.

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2

Alaska

Contrary to public opinion roof racks are not specifically designed for skis, snowboards and Cocker Spaniels....what??

Yeah, in Alaska authorities have found it necessary to declare it illegal to tether a dog to the roof of a car.

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3

Arizona

It is illegal to wear suspenders in Nogles, AZ.

(Ensuing public indecency is perfectly legal, though)

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4

Arkansas

A man can legally beat his wife, but not more than once a month.

Flirtation between the members of the opposite sex on the streets of Little Rock may result in a 30-day jail term.

The Arkansas legislature passed a law that states that the Arkansas River can rise no higher than to the Main Street bridge in Little Rock.

"People v Arkansas River - how do you plead?"

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5

California

In California, it is illegal to trip horses for entertainment.

In Blythe, California, a person must own two cows in order to legally wear cowboy boots in public. (This law would be more effective in Los Angeles, where "fake" is not only an adjective, but a lifestyle)

In Los Angeles, a man is legally entitled to beat his wife with a leather belt or strap, but the belt can't be wider than 2 inches, unless he has his wife's consent to beat her with a wider strap.

It is illegal to drive more than two thousand sheep down Hollywood Blvd. at one time.

San Francisco is said to be the only city in the nation to have ordinances guaranteeing sunshine to the masses. (self-induced or otherwise)

In Cupertino, California, it is illegal to count backwards audibly in hexadecimal.

In Santa Clara, it is forbidden to dedicate parking spaces to the patron saint of television. (oh Christ, was someone high when they wrote that?)

Prostitutes in San Francisco are not obliged to make change for bills larger than $50. "You got anything smaller than this?" (insert snickering here)

It is illegal to skateboard on walls "or other vertical surfaces" in Palo Alto. In related news, Tony Hawk and Spider-Man have canceled their hotel reservations.

In Los Angeles, you cannot bathe two babies in the same tub at the same time. You know, incest and all that.

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6

Colorado

In Logan County, it is illegal for a man to kiss a woman while she is asleep. In related news, the parents of Sleeping Beauty and Snow White have filed suit with the city.

It is illegal to swim during the daytime in a pool or river within the city limits of Durango, CO

It is illegal to throw shoes at weddings in Colorado.

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7

Connecticut

You can be stopped by the police for biking over 65 miles per hour. (sorry, Lance)

You are not allowed to walk across a street on your hands.

An old Connecticut law banished to use of condoms and all other contraceptive devices. The Pope is expected to visit any time now.

In Devon, Connecticut, it is unlawful to walk backwards after sunset. Sorry, you'll have to practice your Moonwalk elsewhere.

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8

Florida

Women may be fined for falling asleep under a hair dryer, as can the salon owner. (that explains a lot)

A special law prohibits unmarried women (whether single, divorced or widowed) from parachuting on Sunday or she shall risk arrest, fine, and/or jailing.

If an elephant is left tied to a parking meter, the parking fee has to be paid just as it would for a vehicle. (lions and tigers and bear, oh wait...)

In Sarasota, it is illegal to sing in a public place while attired in a swimsuit. But you can hum.

Men may not be seen publicly in any kind of strapless gown.

In Idaho, fishing from the back of any animal is illegal. That just sounds bad.

Apparently, it's illegal to give a lighted cigarette to a cat or dog in Miami. (but you can light it for them once they have it in their jaws)

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9

Georgia

It is illegal to say "Oh, Boy" in Jonesboro, Georgia.

(Oh God, Oh Lord, and Oh S**t, oh my!)

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10

Idaho

Idaho state law makes it illegal for a man to give his sweetheart a box of candy weighing less than fifty pounds. (right on! I'm moving tomorrow)

It's safe to make love while parked in Coeur d'Alene, Idaho. Police officers aren't allowed to walk up and knock on the window. Any suspicious officer who thinks that sex is taking place must drive up from behind, honk his horn three times and wait approximately two minutes before getting out of his car to investigate.

(screw it, I'm moving tonight!!)

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11

Illinois

It is against the law for a monster to enter the corporate limits of Urbana, Illinois. (Cookie Monster has a pending lawsuit)

Chicago law prohibits eating in a place that is on fire. (BBQ's not included)

In Oblong, Illinois, it's punishable by law to make love while hunting or fishing on your wedding day. (aren't they one and the same?)

A state law in Illinois mandates that all bachelors should be called master, not mister, when addressed by their female counterparts. (yeah, right...the bitchslapping shall commence....NOW)

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12

Indiana

Citizens are not allowed to attend a movie house or theater nor ride in a public streetcar within at least four hours after eating garlic. (this makes sense, actually. Garlic breath is FOUL)

It is illegal to take a bath in the wintertime in Indiana. (aahhhh the joys of winter...cozying up in front of a hot fire, underneath a hot blanket, next to a ripe, smelly person)

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13

Iowa

Kisses may last for as much as, but no more than, five minutes. (at a time. Kiss...pause...kiss...pause...kiss)

In Corning, Iowa, it is illegal to speak to anyone passing along the street or sidewalk.

Warn your hubby that after lovemaking in Ames, Iowa, he isn't allowed to take more than three gulps of beer while lying in bed with you- or holding you in his arms. (that's gonna cause a lot of divorces)

In Ottumwa, Iowa, "It is unlawful for any male person, within the corporate limits of the city, to wink at any female person with whom he is unacquainted."

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14

Kansas

No one may catch fish with his bare hands in Kansas.

(our apologies to Chuck Norris and Gollum)

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15

Kentucky

By law, anyone who has been drinking is "sober" until he or she"cannot hold onto the ground."

It is illegal to transport an ice cream cone in your pocket.

A Kentucky law says that burglary can only be committed at night. (what if you're blind?)

It is illegal for pigeons to fly over Bellevue, KY. (making them a huge flight risk)

Frankfort, Kentucky, makes it against the law to shoot off a policeman's tie.

Kansas state law requires pedestrians crossing the highways at night to wear tail lights. (excluding butt bling)

In Kentucky, "No female shall appear in a bathing suit on any highway within this state unless she be escorted by at least two officers or unless she be armed with a club." (in a bikini with two cops. mmmm)

An amendment to the above legislation: "The provisions of this statuate shall not apply to females weighing less than 90 pounds nor exceeding 200 pounds, nor shall it apply to female horses." (shit)

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16

Louisiana

It is illegal to rob a bank and then shoot at the bank teller with a water pistol.

Biting someone with your natural teeth is "simple assault," while biting someone with your false teeth is "aggravated assault." (apparently dentures are hostile)

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17

Massachusetts

Mourners at a wake may not eat more than three sandwiches.

Snoring is prohibited unless all bedroom windows are closed and securely locked. (officers, there's a rumble in the Bronx)

An old ordinance declares goatees illegal unless you first pay a special license fee for the privilege of wearing one in public. (must be licensed and tagged)

In Salem, even married couples are forbidden from sleeping in the nude in rented rooms. (it's Salem. Where would you go anyway?)

In Boston it is illegal to take a bath unless one has been ordered by a physician to do so.

In 1659, the State outlawed Christmas. (somewhere Santa is making it up to Mrs. Claus)

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18

Michigan

A state law stipulates that a woman's hair legally belongs to her husband. (that's why he's pulling it...he wants it back)

It is illegal in Michigan to hitch a crocodile to a fire hydrant.

In Clawson, Mich., there is a law that makes it LEGAL for a farmer to sleep with his pigs, cows, horses, goats, and chickens.

In Detroit, couples are banned from making love in an automobile unless the act takes place while the vehicle is parked on the couple's own property. (guess they lost their keys)

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19

Missouri

In St. Louis, it's illegal to sit on the curb of any city street and drink beer from a bucket. (bongs do not apply)

In Merryville, Missouri, women are prohibited from wearing corsets because "the privilege of admiring the curvaceous, unencumbered body of a young woman should not be denied to the normal, red-blooded American male." (A-freaking-men)

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20

Minnesota

It is illegal to pass a cow in Pine Island District, MN, without tipping your hat.

No man is allowed to make love to his wife with the smell of garlic, onions, or sardines on his breath in Alexandria, Minnesota. If his wife so requests, law mandates that he must brush his teeth. (hmm, maybe I'll move here instead)

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21

Montana

Bozeman, Montana, has a law that bans all sexual activity between members of the opposite sex in the front yard of a home after sundown- if they're nude. (so grab some finger puppets and let's do this!)

Another law in Helena, Montana, mandates that a woman can't dance on a table in a saloon or bar unless she has on at least three pounds, two ounces of clothing. (well, that covers my earrings)

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22

New Hampshire

New Hampshire law forbids you to tap your feet, nod your head, or in any way keep time to the music in a tavern, restaurant, or cafe.

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23

Nebraska

The owner of every hotel in Hastings, Nebraska, is required to provide each guest with a clean and pressed nightshirt. No couple, even if they are married, may sleep together in the nude. Nor may they have sex unless they are wearing one of these clean, white cotton nightshirts.

(hike it up...problem solved.)

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24

New Jersey

It is illegal to raise chickens in bottles in New Jersey. (but sailboats are ok)

It is illegal to slurp soup in New Jersey. (oh so that's what the extra straws are for)

It is illegal to knock on doors or ring doorbells in Barker, NJ. (we prefer shouting)

Lovers in Liberty Corner, New Jersey, should avoid satisfying their lustful urges in a parked car. If the horn accidentally sounds while they are frolicking behind the wheel, the couple can face a jail term.

(Pep Boys will uninstall it for free)

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25

New Mexico

In Carrizozo, N.M., it's forbidden for a female to appear unshaven in public (includes legs and face). (well, YEAH)

In Carlsbad, New Mexico, it's legal for couples to have sex in a parked vehicle during their lunch break from work, as long as the car or van has drawn curtains to stop strangers from peeking in.

(Frankly, I'm disturbed by how many sex laws there are. There's a lot of statesmen who didn't get any at home, therefore they deemed we all gotta stay virgins)

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26

New York

A fine of $25 can be levied for flirting. This old law specifically prohibits men from turning around on any city street and looking "at a woman in that way." A second conviction for a crime of this magnitude calls for the violating male to be forced to wear a "pair of horse-blinders" wherever and whenever he goes outside for a stroll.

(excluding the woman walking in front of him. idiots)

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27

North Dakota

Beer & pretzels can't be served at the same time in any bar or restaurant.

(very high rate of suicide here)

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28

Ohio

In Oxford, Ohio, it's illegal for a woman to strip off her clothing while standing in front of a man's picture. (does this include Jesus?)

Women aren't allowed to wear patent-leather shoes in Cleveland, Ohio- a man might see the reflection of something "he oughtn't!"

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29

Oklahoma

Dogs must have a permit signed by the mayor in order to congregate in groups of three or more on private property.

In Bexley, Ohio, Ordinance number 223, of 09/09/19 prohibits the installation and usage of slot machines in outhouses.

(so business is literally in the shitter)

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30

Oregon

It's against the law in Willowdale, Oregon, for a husband to curse during sex.

"Oh, gosh golly, that feels so darn wonderful. Please do not cease or desist that activity."

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31

Pennsylvania

In Pennsylvania, "any motorist driving along a country road at night must stop every mile and send up a rocket signal, wait 10 minutes for the road to be cleared of livestock, and continue."

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32

Rhode Island

In Province it is illegal to sell toothpaste and a toothbrush to the same customer on a Sunday.

In Newport, it is illegal to smoke a pipe after sunset.

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33

South Dakota

In hotels in Sioux Falls, South Dakota, every room is required to have twin beds. And the beds must always be a minimum of two feet apart when a couple rents a room for only one night. And it's illegal to make love on the floor between the beds!

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34

Tennessee

It is illegal to use a lasso to catch a fish.

In Dyersburg, it is illegal for a woman to call a man for a date.

In Memphis, Tennessee, it is illegal for a woman to drive a car unless there is a man either running or walking in front of it waving a red flag to warn approaching motorists and pedestrians.

In Tennessee, it is illegal to shoot any game other than whales from a moving automobile. (a large, sea-dwelling mammal....sea-dwelling...in TENNESSEE)

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35

Texas

A city ordinance states that a person cannot go barefoot without first obtaining a special five-dollar permit.

It is Texas law that when two trains meet each other at a railroad crossing, each shall come to a full stop, and neither shall proceed until the other has gone.

In Texas, no one other than a registered pharmacist" may sell condoms or other kinds of contraceptives "on the street or other public places."

A recently passed anti-crime law requires criminals to give their victims 24 hours notice, either orally or in writing, and to explain the nature of the crime to be committed...

In Lefors, it is illegal to take more than three swallows of beer at any time while standing.

In San Antonio, it is illegal for both sexes to flirt or respond to flirtation using the eyes and/or hands.

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36

Utah

Birds have the right of way on all highways.

A husband is responsible for every criminal act committed by his wife while she is in his presence.

It is against the law to fish from horseback in Utah.

No woman may have sex with a man while riding in an ambulance within the boundaries of Tremonton, Utah. If caught, the woman can be charged with a sexual misdemeanor and "her name is to be published in the local newspaper." The man isn't charged nor is his name revealed.

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37

Vermont

Lawmakers made it obligatory for everybody to take at least one bath each week -- on Saturday night.

"Gonna dance with my baby till the night is thru

On Saturday Night, Saturday Night"

It is illegal to paint a horse in Vermont.

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38

Virginia

In Norfolk, Virginia, a woman can't go out without wearing a corset. (There was a civil-service job, for men only, called a corset inspector.)

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39

Washington

All lollipops are banned.

(Somewhere in the land of Oz, the Lollipop Guild is weeping)

A law to reduce crime states: "It is mandatory for a motorist with criminal intentions to stop at the city limits and telephone the chief of police as he is entering the town.

It's illegal in Wilbur, Washington, to ride an ugly horse.

There is/was a law on the books in Washington state that stated that a motorcar driven at night must be preceded by something like 100 yards by a man carrying a lantern...

In Seattle, Washington, it is illegal to carry a concealed weapon that is over six feet in length.

it is still an offense in Washington state to pretend your parents are rich.

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40

Washington, DC

A D.C. federal judge has ruled that begging is a form of free speech protected by the Constitution. That means that mugging is free speech too, only more persuasive.

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41

West Virginia

No children may attend school with their breath smelling of "wild onions."
It is illegal for lions to run wild in the streets of Alderson, WV.
In Nicholas County, W. Va., no member of the clergy is allowed to tell jokes or humorous stories from the pulpit during a church service. (Loony Laws" by Robert Pelton)

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42

Wisconsin

In the quiet town of Connorsville, Wisconsin, it's illegal for a man to shoot off a gun when his female partner has an orgasm.

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43

Wyoming

An ordinance in Newcastle, Wyoming, specifically bans couples from having sex while standing inside a store's walk-in-meat freezer!

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