6 Most Ridiculous Employee Training Videos 6 Most Ridiculous Employee Training Videos

By Ian Tindell | Los Angeles
Bullshit Job [bool-shit job] - noun - 1. A job requiring little skill that is obtained simply to pay the bills that you're forced to pay every month. 2. A job shoveling the dung of bulls.

We've all had them and we've all had to sit through the idiotic training videos before we start them. As idiotic as they always were, though, the one good thing you could expect was to have a laugh or two at the video's earnest expense. Let's have a few more laughs, shall we?
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Modified: 2010-02-04 14:46:20.0
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    When You're Inside Chuck...
    01:04 Putting on an oversized, heavy, mascot costume has got to be one of the shittiest jobs around. The pressure of these jobs is always to have fun, which apparently means to always keep your arms and legs moving as demonstrated about a billion times in this video. It's hard not to find the "fun" of the character to be somewhat undermined, however, when his eyes are perpetually half closed, causing "Chuck" (from the popular Chuck E' Cheese franchise) to look like he's either about two steps away from a cliff dive or just high on some really good shit. 02:20 A real highlight of anyone's life is when they're required to clean their costume. 06:40 The performer is told he must put his heart and soul into the job. His response is a rather half-hearted "right," which seems appropriate given the nature of this job. We feel for you man, we do. Not even guy in the training video has enthusiasm for this job.
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    Maybe You'll See McC
    00:28 Working at McDonald's is pretty much end-all for shitty jobs, but you wouldn't know it by looking at the super sunny employees working in this video. This video's pretty much a gem the whole way through as we follow a new custodial employee who's way too happy to be cleaning the bathroom (03:40), taking out the garbage (04:50) and washing the whole damned parking lot (05:10). 03:10 The real fun with this video, however, is the constant allusion to a McDonald's spirit called McC. Apparently what McC is, is a voice in this custodian's head that starts telling him to clean more stuff. After a few years of being a custodian at McDonald's and constantly having to get things "McDonald's clean," that McC voice is probably going to start suggesting a few other things...
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    The Burger Rap
    Imagine getting your new job at Wendy's. You're disappointed that your philosophy degree didn't take you further and now you're sitting down to watch the "Grill Skills" training video. It's impossibly boring at first and only appears to be good for a drinking game revolving around how many times Dave Thomas says "Wendy's Old Fayshoned Hamburgers" (misspelling intentional based on how it sounds when he says it). 03:20 But then you come to the part in the video where our hero is sucked into the TV and shown the hip hop coolness of grilling hamburgers. It's only then that you realize that you've REALLY hit rock bottom.
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    The Cutting Edge of Balloon Delivery
    Let me ask you a question. If you were forced to work for a delivery service what would be the absolute lamest thing you could deliver? If you answered "delivering balloons...especially if I had to dawn a ridiculously stupid persona while doing it," you'd be right on the money. 00:28 - 00:50 To witness just how lame (yet hilarious) it is to have to come up with a balloon delivery persona just watch from 00:28 - 00:50. "I'm not just Ian, *grin* I'm Ian who's wasting my life delivering beautiful balloons to you people! Happy 4th Birthday, little girl!"
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    What the Hell Is He Even Saying?
    So your company's implementing new ideas and wants to pass that knowledge onto you. How are they going to do it? Via a new training video of course! 00:20 - The End - Now, I'm no auto technician, so I'm not exactly their target audience here, but just watch from 00:20 and see if you can understand what this man is saying. Seriously, if it's proven to me that this guy hasn't started speaking in tongues I'll eat my hat. Where do I install the flux capacitor?...
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    Will You Be Here Tomorrow?
    00:16 Go ahead and start this video at this timestamp, but only if you're not very squeamish. No list that has anything to do with training videos can be complete without the classic, the tried and true, the gruesome and EXTREMELY gory "Will You Be Here Tomorrow?" safety training video used for factory workers in the late 80's/early 90's. It really focuses on what CAN happen and not how to prevent it, but by golly you should just sit back and enjoy the trainwreck and cringe-factory which is...Will You Be Here Tomorrow?
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2 Comments


by PeeJ at February 17, 2010 15:45
That automotive one is teh funnay! You do realize the vid was a joke, yes?

by Zach at February 07, 2010 00:59
In the Wendy's video I'm really glad the video editor decided to show coats being put on and taken off the coat rack 5-6 times in a 10 second sequence. I also like how hard they try to sell the companies 'uniqueness'. We get it, your meat is square so it sticks out of the bun. Now was it really important to mention that 10 times in the video? Are you worried your new employee might not realize the meat is square?
 

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