6 Ways To Avoid Looking Like A Turnip While Dining Out By Levon P [6 more lists]
Yes, there really is such a thing as right and wrong. If dining out is ever to become "the new black," then it should be said that nothing is more crucial than making sure all shades being worn are matching. There’s no point in looking like a pot of gold and then acting like a turnip. Here’s a list of ways to avoiding looking like a turnip while dining out.
- 1
If You're Rad, Skip the Coke
It seems that so many rad people die by way of mixing cocaine and restaurants. John Belushi. Phil Hartman – okay, his wife was the coker that night, but she HAD been at a restaurant that night. The names can go on for days. Skip the coke and don't end up face-first in your bowl of soup. The restaurant and its patrons will appreciate it. - 2
Shut It
No one really cares what you have to say. Probably not even the person you're sharing your table with. Low speaking volumes tend to emote a vibe of not only kindness, but also decency. If you really think the person two tables away needs to hear the story of your boil getting lanced, then walk over there and tell it to them directly...but don't assume they want to hear it from across the room while shoving delicious dumplings in to their mouth holes. - 3
Shut It Again
Open your mouth, shovel the food in then shut it. Now chew. Keep your food in your own mouth and off your companion’s shirt, plate and glasses. If there's one easy way to say, "I hate you and I wanna make sure we never see each other again," without actually saying so much as one word, it can be done by chewing with your mouth open. The sound of lame saliva sloshing around with each lip-smacking bite coupled with random pieces of meat and veggies and who-knows-what-else flying out of your face hole and landing on your companion is a sure-fire recipe for loneliness. Shut it! - 4
Respect The Culture
Don't go to a Moroccan restaurant then complain about sitting on the floor. You're in a little slice of Morocco, so do things their way. Don't go to an Indian restaurant and say, "Jeez, spice much?! I think I need to ACHOO this food." You'll look like an idiot, not a comic-genius. If you want a burger, go to a burger place. If you want a taco, go to a taco place. If you want Moroccan food, shut up and sit on the floor! - 5
Check Your Account Balances
Know what you can eat. If you have $20 to spend on your Platinum Gold Titanium Suicide card, then don’t order more than $12 of food and drinks. You’re going to need some extra wiggle room to tip your server. So many people skimp on their tips. Truth is, your server is more than likely getting paid a far smaller wage than you think. Do you REALLY want to eat at a place where the person serving you is too broke to buy some antibiotic cream to smear on that infected cut they got on their finger last week? "What goes around, comes around," couldn’t be more accurately applied. Budget!
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