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You Smoke Like a Choo-Choo«»Your teeth are yellowing, your skin is dry and leathery, your clothes smell like Satan's ashtray... and you're spending upwards of $50 per paycheck on something you kind of hate. Lung, throat, and mouth cancer aside (not to mention emphysema, COPD, and birth defects), smokers are jokers. It's gross. And it's annoying. You know when you're in the middle of a conversation and you suddenly turn around and disappear out to the alley to suck poison into your face and play Words With Friends for 10 minutes? Yeah, non-smokers hate that. Also, you stink.
How Nicotine Helps Your Brain:
In one blind study of elderly non-smoking subjects with mild cognitive impairment (MCI), participants who were given nicotine patches for 6 months were shown to have improved attention and psychomotor speed. They also regained 46% of normal longterm memory for their age. The control group who had placebo patches got 26% worse. Of course, here we're talking about patches, not cigarettes - which means it may be time to ditch your Pall Malls for one of those fancy new e-cigarettes, which contain nicotine but fewer poisonous additives. To ease your cravings, you can even get them flavored like tobacco.
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