Cutlery Throwing Mother Doesn't Give a F*ckMeet Louella Gallagher, who, along with her daughters Connie Anne (5) and Collina Sue (2 and a half), demonstrates how you can take a negative attribute like not being able to nail a standing target with a kitchen knife and turn it into a crowd-gathering marvel. Watch and be amazed at this astonishing video in which no f*cks are given while Louella fearlessly hurls dangerously sharp knives at her little girls for shocked spectators and a camera crew. Be sure you have the volume on during this clip, because the narration is half the fun.
0:06 "Connie Anne is a veteran at being a target for her mother's cutlery, and doesn't turn a hair at Ma's cut-ups, even though Ma's pretty sharp with the cleavers."
0:26 "It takes a steady aim and a stout heart to heave knives at the apple of your eye, but this female William Tell has no qualms and plenty of faith!"
Do yourself a favor and pause the clip at 0:42. What is that look in Louella's face? anticipation? Excitement? Whatever it is, this is not the look you want someone throwing weapons at you to be having.
Sure enough, only three seconds later at 0:45, Collina Sue is getting fidgety as a knife is improperly executed and bounces off the wooden board and grazes her arm. The narrator doesn't seem to be worried, "This miss says it's as good as a smile!"
Louella seems to be more determined than ever to show off her skills at 0:52 during Collina's close-up. The knives land closer around her face and you can clearly see the wind in Collina's hair as the blades speed past her. After watching this video, I'm really curious to see what exactly qualified as child endangerment in those days.
Empire State HijinksWith all the safety standards and labor laws we have in this country today, it's hard to believe some of our most recognizable landmarks were built with little to no f*ck given towards safety at all.
0:18 There's something about watching people in high places that is just downright unsettling. I dare you to watch this video without clenching your butt even once. I DARE YOU. Look at this guy standing on the edge of a girder, going back and forth like he's not one banana peel away from becoming expressionist sidewalk art.
0:28 Now look at his partner! Sliding down the same beam for twenty feet at blazing speeds without any ropes, harnesses, or safety nets. It's almost surprising they they had enough guys left alive to finish construction on the building.
Ben Dova Not Giving a F*ckStuntman Ben Dova's passion for looking intoxicated was taken to new heights when he decided to move his act to the roof of a skyscraper in old-timey Manhattan. Without giving a sh*t (or a f*ck) whatsoever for his life or the lives of the people below him, Ben sought to prove to the world that alcoholics are not only awesome at birthday parties and funerals, but are just as awesome when teetering on the brink of death hundreds of feet in the air.
At 0:18, Mr. Dova throws his booze-loving body off the edge of the building.
To showcase the harrowing views of the city (yes, they really were that far from the ground) and remind you that this guy is f*cking nuts, 0:26 shows the daredevil climbing a swaying light post.
Just to drive his point home about drunks being awesome at every elevation, at 0:55 Ben Dova throws his entire body off the post and hangs above the crowded streets by his fingertips. If he wasn't drinking before this stunt, I'll bet he got hammered afterwords.
Vintage Parkour with Toddlers on Their BacksAt first, this guy may look like he's just doing some random free-running and parkour, or, to quote The Office, getting "from point A to point B as creatively as possible...as long as point 'A' is delusion and point 'B' is the hospital." But this video just gets better and better, starting at 0:26 when he climbs up a building horizontally.
At 0:30, he demonstrates how few f*cks he actually gives by doing the same horizontal wall climb with a large child on his back.
Then, at 0:45 the stuntman goes from jumping on the back of a train, to running on top of the moving subway car, to jumping into a river dozens of feet below. Not enough for you? Watch a few seconds more and see him jump at least a hundred feet into dark waters below. Parkour!
1:16 Breaking down whatever lame connotations you may have once had about getting into a giant wheel, this...artist...proceeds to roll across a field, then off a cliff and INTO THE OCEAN. Be honest, you're a little turned on right now.
Old-Timey Stunt Men Not Giving a F*ckHere's a bunch of great old timey stunts with a lot of witty narration. The first thirty seconds are mostly aerial acrobatics, but once you get past that you're in for nothing but "Spills, thrills, and chills!" Here are some of the highlights of this total abandon of safety:
0:30 "Daredevils turn on the heat to keep tempo with the times," by jumping through flames on motorcycles.
0:40 "This madcap adventurer puts on his show by being dragged right into the picture." As a man is being pulled along by his feet by a speeding vehicle. He looks pretty out of it by the end, but not to worry, "There's no harm done...he says."
1:17 "For a thrill that chills you to the very marrow, these aerial dancers put on a spine tingling show above the city streets. Their stage is a small platform, but their nerve is colossal! This dance may be safe enough up there, but we'd hate to see them do the conga!"
1:49 Another man is dragged behind a car, this time in a straight jacket and to the tune of 40mph. "The idea is to remove the jacket before friction removes the seat of your pants!"
2:10 Stunt man Johnny Renolyds sits atop not one but two dining room chairs and a table on the side of a very tall building in a game called "teeter totter."
"Johnny is 39-years-old. With luck, he may someday see 40."
2:21 This guy can do all kinds of things, jump rope, do a headstand, even dance -- all on a thin plank sticking out of a 20-story building. During the blindfold test, however, he missteps and lands on his crotch, inciting a whistle and sharp "Mmph!" from the commentator.
Now sit back for a few car and airplane crashes and two trains having a head on collision, before 3:20 for another narrative of your favorite knife-throwing mother (and mine), Louella Gallagher!
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