L The List
Priest Fakes Illness, Steals $1.3 MillionImagine you hate your job. Like really, really hate your job. And that you kind of look like Clint Eastwood in Gran Torino. You most likely would have the incentive to start a new career, or go back to school, or maybe volunteer.
For the honorable Rev. Kevin Gray of Waterbury, Connecticut, priesthood wasn't exactly the most fulfilling of positions. So instead of parting ways with his parish and seek better pastures, he steals 1.3 million dollars over a period of seven years from the congregation.
And what did he spend it on? Male escorts in New York City, baby!
He was also spending around 50,000 dollars on things like Louis Vuitton goods and gym fees. He paid for the community college tuition of one of his male "payees," and he paid for piano lessons and veterinarian bills for another man he met in Central Park.
"He's certainly an example of someone who was leading a double life," the police said after he was investigated and arrested. Indeed.
The worst part? He told his congregation he was suffering from cancer to gain medical leave and spend all that money.
Caught Groping in the WoodsWhen you gotta go, you gotta go.
A 21-year-old male needing to relieve himself did just that by finding a secluded spot in the woods behind a Park 'N' Ride off a popular State Route.
The event plays out like a scenario from a horror film.
Alone in the woods and suspect to such dangers as serial killers, hypodermic needles, or bear attacks, the man was attacked by... a priest *scary music*. While the man was urinating, the priest saw his opportunity and pounced, touching him "inappropriately."
Emile R. Boutin, Jr. had allegedly followed the young man into the woods after tailgating his car a-la Jeepers Creepers. When the incident happened, the young man dashed off to his car, wrote the license plate number of the car next to his, and busted the hell out of there.
You can almost imagine what the young man must have been thinking and how he was most likely screaming his head off. It's unknown if Boutin tried to chase him back to his car, hands outstretched and all, but in the end, he was subsequently arrested for indecent assault and battery.
Amazingly, the local church still has a site up where you can get intimate (not that way) with Boutin's biography. Weird.
Click here for the video report, the greatest interview happens at about 1:15 .
Likes to Jog NakedLike many people, Rev. Robert Whipkey likes to go jogging. And like most people, he sweats profusely. But instead of investing in a few sweatbands or a pair of boxers, Whipkey sheds the clothes and runs naked before dawn at the local high school track – by far the best place to jog naked if you don't want to get caught.
"I'm a heavy man, and wearing clothing while running makes me sweat profusely," = his excuse.
Although to be fair, he did run with the piece of cloth he used to cover himself up when a police officer saw him and shined his flashlight upon him. Whipkey hasn’t been caught whipping it out since. Maybe he's changed his hours.
Click here for full news story.
Masturbating In Front of Undercover CopsHe had just retired from being a priest for 27 years when Chester King gave the signal for a man to approach him in San Antonio's Olmos Park.
King launched a conversation with the man that quickly veered into sexual in nature and at some point, into sexual exposure: King had began to masterbate in front of the man. He was subsequently arrested on site. As it turns out, that man was an undercover officer.
After his retirement, King had spent his time as a substitute for several of clergymen who went on vacation. He told the officer that he was a priest and occasionally visited the park before church during his retirement. And just like that, he proceeded to pleasure himself.
It’s unknown if he was doing it because he was really, really bored in retirement.
Follow this link for the full story.
Stalking Conan O'Brien. Yes, Really.In 2007 (apparently a really horrible year for priests), Rev. David Ajemian was arrested outside of NBC studios at 30 Rockefeller Plaza for trying to get in to see Conan O'Brien's show at the time. He'd also been stalking Conan for about 14 months.
The priest was charged with writing threatening notes to O'Brien (on his parish's letterhead for some reason), which contained references to himself as "your priest stalker." The priest also contacted Conan's parents at some point, which is where he really crossed the line.
When he was denied entry to Conan's show, he said "is this the way you treat your most dangerous fans?'
"I want a public confession before I ever consider giving you absolution – or a spot on your couch," he said. A confession of what, was never determined.
Click here for the full story on Conan's priest stalker.
Thou Shalt Shoplift From Large Chain StoresBack in December 2009, Father Tim Jones in York, UK preached a sermon to those failing to make ends meet for the holidays.
"My advice, as a Christian priest, is to shoplift." He then said that it was a better option than "prostituting, stealing, or burglary."
This caused a media storm, but the advice seemed to be taken to heart in the church. A month later, Rev. Steven F. Poole was arrested on charges of shoplifting. And to follow the good Father’s exact words, he robbed from a local Wal-Mart in West City, IL.
"The strong temptation is to burgle or rob... others go towards prostitution, a nightmare world of degradation... others towards suicide. Instead, I would rather that they shoplift," said Jones, who inspired Poole's illegal activity.
What did he steal? Police caught the Reverend on camera failing to scan a container of butter worth $3.22 (I guess they scanned it later) and a $60 dollar sofa cover at the self-checkout lane.
But instead of taking the butter and running for it, Poole took his cart to pick up a memory foam mattress, changed the bar code with that of another item, and saved himself 114 dollars back at the checkout lane.
What the report never said was in what state of mind was Poole in to make him buy a vat of butter and a foam mattress at the same time. The two really don’t go together, unless you’re into that sort of thing.