Great Dancer Is Hit By Ice Cream Truck, Groove RuinedThis is the viral video going around right now featuring two guys. One is an enthusiastic camera man, while the other is an enthusiastic, proud and accomplished thug who also happens to like dancing.
He likes dancing so much that he decides he's going to do it out on the streets a-la Broadway musical, which one can only assume is where he got his classical training.
After treating the cars behind him on the street like mere props to the musical or music video that IS his life, he starts stepping around, making huge strides across not the middle of a street, but an open intersection.
After about 38 seconds of footage, you come to the realization (he doesn't, though) that soon this intersection is going to get mad at him for dancing so happily on its face.
The intersection then hits back via Ice Cream Truck.
Like many "people getting hurt" videos, this is absolutely hilarious... and then you feel bad and wonder what happened to the guy.
Updates here as the story unfolds.
Man Kills Other Man Over An Ice Cream TruckThis is the best story you will hear today. Promise. Gather 'round.
Rob Chambers (pictured left) is (and this joke is not mine) NOT a Softee. He WAS, though, a man who made ice cream trucks (the oldest and most noble profession in this history of Earth).
Tremayne Durham was a man who always wanted to sell ice cream.
Durham gave Chambers the money to make him an ice cream truck. After Durham (the guy who wanted to SELL ice cream) asked chambers for a refund ($18,000) because he changed his mind on the whole "selling ice cream" thing out of nowhere, Chambers gave him the cold shoulder.
Durham (failed ice cream seller) decided to sue Chambers (money-keeper extraordinaire) for the money, which is perfectly reasonable.
Oh, RIGHT, but before that Durham kidnapped Chambers himself and Chambers's closest friend Adam Calbreath hostage and then shot Adam Calbreath until he was dead (looks like Durham wasn't the best shot) in a plan to get his money back.
Durham held a gun to Chambers's stomach and said things like "look what you made me do" and "I've been robbing and killing people to get to you."
If THIS wasn't enough of a WTF story (over an ice cream truck), here's a quote from the original story about how/when he confessed to the whole thing:
"Durham agreed to plead guilty to murder — but only if he could get a break from jail food. The judge agreed and granted Durham a feast of KFC chicken, Popeye’s chicken, mashed potatoes, coleslaw, carrot cake and ice cream.
After Wednesday’s sentencing, Durham was to get the rest of the deal — calzones, lasagna, pizza and ice cream, his defense attorney confirmed. They will pay the tab."
Durham is currently serving a life sentence... over an ice cream truck.
Click here for more details from abovethelaw.com
Ice Cream Man Exchanges Ice Cream For Sexual Favors From Little GirlsUm... yeah.
So, this is a story that is really more of a cautionary tale for anybody letting their children pay for their own ice cream. It basically has a guy who was, thankfully, caught exchanging ice cream for sexual favors from little girls (he would ask them to flash him). It's pretty much the ice cream man nightmare. The worst one of all time.
This news report urges people to know who is their licensed local ice cream. The reporter at the end of this video says that if you're worried about the person selling ice cream to your kids that you should go somewhere else, ask for a license or just walk away... because apparently in the town where this happened, there are no supermarkets and throughout the entire united states, every freezer aisle in every 7-11 is broken. God help us all.
Click here for the VIDEO news report of the ice cream man who was going around in a creepy van, giving kids ice cream to take their clothes off
[Insert SEVERELY inappropriate "What Would You Do For A klondike Bar?" joke here]
Pair Sold Drugs From Urine/Feces-Filled Ice Cream TruckAccording to this news report these two people started a "side business" in an ice cream "van".
First of all, most of us know them as ice cream "trucks". Ice cream "van" just screams shady, weird drug cover where two guys sell pot out of the van, drive around at night at inconspicuous times, have 41 different kinds of drug paraphernalia and actually end up defecating, as well as urinating, inside the van because hey, why the hell not at that point... which is exactly what happened in this story.
Police stopped these guys later on, who were convicted of possession of drug paraphernalia, as well as marijuana itself.
These guys rolled DEEP, though, so click here for the best line from this entire newscast which just kinda makes you pull one of these .
Slow, Creepy Ice Cream Van Made of NightmaresOne of the sweetest sounds of summer has been forever sullied by this presumably failing or battery-low ice cream truck that drives creepily slow through this neighborhood, terrorizing the people filming the video (and once again we have a "van", not a "truck", never trust an ice cream "van".)
You know in horror movies when cats groan at demons, ghosts or when any kind of evil presence is near? Well, this van made the cat in this video groan.
This van, where you actually can't really see the drivers, is surely being driven by Satan himself, or by one of the 4 horsemen of the apocalypse (or hell, maybe by the guy in item 4 right up there). Either way, the music, slowness of the van and the way it's kind of scanning the whole neighborhood scares the crap out of everyone involved; which includes you, the reader.
Good luck sleeping tonight.
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