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Investigating Paranormal ActivityParanormal Investigator: "We're investigating paranormal activity at the Johnson residence in suburban Los Angeles."
The Paranormal Investigator gives the quick overview of the film's plot, that he is investigating odd happenings at a home in suburban Los Angeles. Yes, that's really the extent of the plot.
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I'm a PsychicChip: "Hi, I'm Chip. You must be Malcolm."
Malcolm: "Yeah, that's pretty good. How'd you know?"
Chip: "I'm a psychic. I have a lot of powers all over my body."
Psychic Chip seems pretty impressive when he already knows Malcolm's name but things change quickly from pleasant to just plain weird.
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Someone So CuteMalcolm: "How could someone so cute be so stink?"
Usually in found footage movie viewers would expect to see strange happenings and paranormal activity on these surveillance cameras. Not in "A Haunted House." Instead the surprise is a fart joke.
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Tic Tac ToeFather Doug: "I'm Father Doug. I'm here to unpossess you."
Kisha: "Do you know how to connect the cuts?"
Father Doug: "Uh, uh, uh, tac tac toe in your face!"
Father Doug seems to be dedicated to excising the demon from Kisha but that soon goes awry when his competitive side kicks in and he happily plays tic tac toe in the cuts on her arm.
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I'll Do AnythingChip: "How far are you going to go to get this demon out?"
Malcolm: "I'll do anything." [returns in a bondage suit]
Paranormal Investigator: "What is this supposed to do?"
Father Doug: "This just got weird."
When Malcolm says he's willing to do anything to excise the demon, dressing up in a bondage suit wasn't really what he had in mind.
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