Best Groucho Marx Quotes Quotations
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Best Groucho Marx Quotes

List Criteria: Must be a famous or well-known quote. If a quote is cut off you can hover over the text to see the full quote.

A list of the best Groucho Marx quotes. This list is arranged by which famous Groucho Marx quotes have received the most votes, so only the greatest Groucho Marx quotes are at the top of the list. All the most popular quotes from Groucho Marx should be listed here, but if any were missed you can add more at the end of the list. This list includes notable Groucho Marx quotes on various subjects, many of which are inspirational and thought provoking.

This list answers the questions, "What are the best Groucho Marx quotes?" and "What is the most famous Groucho Marx quote?"

You can see what subjects these historic Groucho Marx quotes fall under displayed to the right of the quote. Be sure to vote so your favorite Groucho Marx saying won't fall to the bottom of the list.


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  1. 1
    + 29
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    I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception. Faces

    ) open
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    Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana

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  3. 3
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    I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member. Association

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  4. 4
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    Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member. People

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  5. 5
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    I find television very educational. Every time someone switches it on I go into another room and read a good book. Television

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  6. 6
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    If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again. Jokes and Jokers

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    From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it. Books and Reading

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    I worked myself up from nothing to extreme poverty. Poverty and The Poor

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  9. 9
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    Whoever named it necking is a poor judge of anatomy. Sex

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  10. 10
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    Either he's dead or my watch has stopped. Death and Dying

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  11. 11
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    No man goes before his time -- unless the boss leaves early. Time and Time Management

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    I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. Wedding

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  13. 13
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    I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it. Choice

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  14. 14
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    Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough. Age and Aging

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    There is one way to find out if a man is honest; ask him! If he says yes you know he's crooked. Honesty

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    Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough. Wife

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    Although it is generally known, I think it's about time to announce that I was born at a very early age. Birth

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  19. 19
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    new! & added by MarcSherman Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.

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    One of the best hearing aids a man can have is an attentive wife. Marriage

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    There is no sweeter sound than the crumbling of ones fellow man. Envy

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  22. 22
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    I did toy with the idea of doing a cook-book. The recipes were to be the routine ones: how to make dry toast, instant coffee, hearts of lettuce and brownies. But as an added attraction, at no extra charge, my idea was to put a fried egg on the cover. I think a lot of people who hate literature but love fried eggs would buy it if the price was right. Cooking

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  23. 23
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    Look at me. I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty. Poverty and The Poor

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  24. 24
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    Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough. Age and Aging

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  25. 25
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    Hello, I Must Be Going Film

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  26. 26
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    My mother loved children -- she would have given anything if I had been one. Children

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  27. 27
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    Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does. Politicians and Politics

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  28. 28
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    Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book, and does. Writers and Writing

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    The trouble with writing a book about yourself is that you can't fool around. If you write about someone else, you can stretch the truth from here to Finland. If you write about yourself the slightest deviation makes you realize instantly that there may be honor among thieves, but you are just a dirty liar. Autobiography

    ) open
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