Best Groucho Marx Quotes Quotations
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Best Groucho Marx Quotes

List Criteria: Must be a famous or well-known quote. If a quote is cut off you can hover over the text to see the full quote.

A list of the best Groucho Marx quotes. This list is arranged by which famous Groucho Marx quotes have received the most votes, so only the greatest Groucho Marx quotes are at the top of the list. All the most popular quotes from Groucho Marx should be listed here, but if any were missed you can add more at the end of the list. This list includes notable Groucho Marx quotes on various subjects, many of which are inspirational and thought provoking.

This list answers the questions, "What are the best Groucho Marx quotes?" and "What is the most famous Groucho Marx quote?"

You can see what subjects these historic Groucho Marx quotes fall under displayed to the right of the quote. Be sure to vote so your favorite Groucho Marx saying won't fall to the bottom of the list.
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  1. 1
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    I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.

    Faces More
  2. 2
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    Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member.

    People More
  3. 3
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    If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again.

    Jokes and Jokers More
  4. 4
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    Whoever named it necking is a poor judge of anatomy.

    Sex More
  5. 5
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    I find television very educational. Every time someone switches it on I go into another room and read a good book.

    Television More
  6. 6
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    I worked myself up from nothing to extreme poverty.

    Poverty and The Poor More
  7. 7
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    Although it is generally known, I think it's about time to announce that I was born at a very early age.

    Birth More
  8. 8
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    Leaders and Leadership More
  9. 9
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    No man goes before his time -- unless the boss leaves early.

    Time and Time Management More
  10. 10
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    I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member.

    Association More
  11. 11
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    Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.

    Death and Dying More
  12. 12
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    From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.

    Books and Reading More
  13. 13
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    I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

    Wedding More
  14. 14
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    I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it.

    Choice More
  15. 15
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    My mother loved children -- she would have given anything if I had been one.

    Children More
  16. 16
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    Hello, I Must Be Going

    Film More
  17. 17
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    new! Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana

  18. 18
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    There is one way to find out if a man is honest; ask him! If he says yes you know he's crooked.

    Honesty More
  19. 19
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    One of the best hearing aids a man can have is an attentive wife.

    Marriage More
  20. 20
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    Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.

    Wife More
  21. 21
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    Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does.

    Politicians and Politics More
  22. 22
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    Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.

    Age and Aging More
  23. 23
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    I did toy with the idea of doing a cook-book. The recipes were to be the routine ones: how to make dry toast, instant coffee, hearts of lettuce and brownies. But as an added attraction, at no extra charge, my idea was to put a fried egg on the cover. I think a lot of people who hate literature but love fried eggs would buy it if the price was right.

    Cooking More
  24. 24
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    Look at me. I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.

    Poverty and The Poor More
  25. 25
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    The trouble with writing a book about yourself is that you can't fool around. If you write about someone else, you can stretch the truth from here to Finland. If you write about yourself the slightest deviation makes you realize instantly that there may be honor among thieves, but you are just a dirty liar.

    Autobiography More
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    Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.

    Age and Aging More
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    Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book, and does.

    Writers and Writing More
  28. 28
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    There is no sweeter sound than the crumbling of ones fellow man.

    Envy More
  29. 29 +

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