A List of Famous Groucho Marx Quotes By Reference

A list of quotes from Groucho Marx. Here are the best Groucho Marx quotes on various subjects. The Groucho Marx quotations list is alphabetical but can be sorted by any column. Enjoy these sayings coined by Groucho Marx. You can use this factual list to create a new list, re-rank it to fit your views, then share it on Facebook, Twitter or any other social networks you belong to.

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Order Name Author Subjects

1

Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.

Groucho Marx

Age and Aging
2

Although it is generally known, I think it's about time to announce that I was born at a very early age.

Groucho Marx

Birth
3

Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.

Groucho Marx

Death and Dying
4

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.

Groucho Marx

Books and Reading
5

Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.

Groucho Marx

Age and Aging
6

Hello, I Must Be Going

Groucho Marx

Film
7

I did toy with the idea of doing a cook-book. The recipes were to be the routine ones: how to make dry toast, instant coffee, hearts of lettuce and brownies. But as an added attraction, at no extra charge, my idea was to put a fried egg on the cover. I think a lot of people who hate literature but love fried eggs would buy it if the price was right.

Groucho Marx

Cooking
8

I find television very educational. Every time someone switches it on I go into another room and read a good book.

Groucho Marx

Television
9

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.

Groucho Marx

Faces
10

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

Groucho Marx

Wedding
11

I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member.

Groucho Marx

Association
12

I worked myself up from nothing to extreme poverty.

Groucho Marx

Poverty and The Poor
13

If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again.

Groucho Marx

Jokes and Jokers
14

I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it.

Groucho Marx

Choice
15

Look at me. I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.

Groucho Marx

Poverty and The Poor
16

My mother loved children -- she would have given anything if I had been one.

Groucho Marx

Children
17

No man goes before his time -- unless the boss leaves early.

Groucho Marx

Time and Time Management
18

One of the best hearing aids a man can have is an attentive wife.

Groucho Marx

Marriage
19

Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men -- the other 999 follow women.

Groucho Marx

Leaders and Leadership
20

Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member.

Groucho Marx

People
21

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does.

Groucho Marx

Politicians and Politics
22

Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book, and does.

Groucho Marx

Writers and Writing
23

The trouble with writing a book about yourself is that you can't fool around. If you write about someone else, you can stretch the truth from here to Finland. If you write about yourself the slightest deviation makes you realize instantly that there may be honor among thieves, but you are just a dirty liar.

Groucho Marx

Autobiography
24

There is no sweeter sound than the crumbling of ones fellow man.

Groucho Marx

Envy
25

There is one way to find out if a man is honest; ask him! If he says yes you know he's crooked.

Groucho Marx

Honesty
26

Whoever named it necking is a poor judge of anatomy.

Groucho Marx

Sex
27

Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.

Groucho Marx

Wife

Showing items 1 - 25 of 27

A List of Famous Groucho Marx Quotes you can use this list to help make your own ranked list about this topic

Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.

Although it is generally known, I think it's about time to announce that I was born at a very early age.

Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.

Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.

Hello, I Must Be Going

I find television very educational. Every time someone switches it on I go into another room and read a good book.

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member.

I worked myself up from nothing to extreme poverty.

If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again.

I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it.

Look at me. I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.

My mother loved children -- she would have given anything if I had been one.

No man goes before his time -- unless the boss leaves early.

One of the best hearing aids a man can have is an attentive wife.

Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men -- the other 999 follow women.

Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member.

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does.

Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book, and does.

There is no sweeter sound than the crumbling of ones fellow man.

There is one way to find out if a man is honest; ask him! If he says yes you know he's crooked.

Whoever named it necking is a poor judge of anatomy.

Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.