Best Kin Hubbard Quotes

My idea of walking into the jaws of death is marrying some woman who has lost three husbands.

Bargain... anything a customer thinks a store is losing money on.

Why doesn't the fellow who says, I'm no speechmaker let it go at that instead of giving a demonstration?

If you haven't seen your wife smile at a traffic cop, you haven't seen her smile her prettiest.

Men are not punished for their for sins, but by them.

It ain't a bad plan to keep still occasionally even when you know what you're talking about.

When some fellers decide to retire nobody knows the difference.

I will say this for adversity: people seem to be able to stand it, and that is more than I can say for prosperity.

It is no disgrace to be poor, but it might as well be.

If there is anything a public servant hates to do it is something for the public.

I do not look for much to come out of government ownership as long as we have Democrats and Republicans.

There's no secret about success. Did you ever know a successful man who didn't tell you about it?

Beauty is only skin deep, but it's a valuable asset if you're poor or haven't any sense.

Nobody ever grew despondent looking for trouble.

Some fellows get credit for being conservative when they are only stupid.

A bee is never as busy as it seems; it's just that it can't buzz any slower.

Some folks can look so busy doing nothing that they seem indispensable.

One of the commonest mistakes is thinking your worries are over when your children get married.

The world gels better every day -- then worse again in the evening.

Don't knock the weather; nine-tenths of the people couldn't start a conversation if it didn't change once in a while.

It's pretty hard to be efficient without being obnoxious.

We'd all like to vote for the best man, but he's never a candidate.

If some people didn't tell you, you'd never know they'd been away on a vacation.

Live so that you can at least get the benefit of the doubt.

Now and then an innocent man is sent to the legislature.

Peace has its victories no less than war, but it doesn't have as many monuments to unveil.

Nobody can be as agreeable as an uninvited guest.

Making a long stay short is a great aid to popularity.

The fellow that agrees with everything you say is either a fool or he is getting ready to skin you.

After a fellow gets famous it does not take long for someone to bob up that used to sit next to him in school.

Nobody ever forgets where he buried the hatchet.

A lot of Thanksgiving days have been ruined by not carving the turkey in the kitchen.

The only way to entertain some folks is to listen to them.

The election is not very far off when a candidate can recognize you across the street.

It seems to make an auto driver mad if he misses you.

Honesty pays, but it doesn't seem to pay enough to suit some people.

Every once in a while someone without a single bad habit gets caught.

It is pretty hard to tell what does bring happiness; poverty and wealth have both failed.

The fellow that owns his own home is always just coming out of a hardware store.

Universal peace sounds ridiculous to the head of an average family.

Getting talked about is one of the penalties for being pretty, while being above suspicion is about the only compensation for being homely.

The safest way to double your money is to fold over once and put it in your pocket.

Lack of pep is often mistaken for patience.

Kindness goes a long ways lots of times when it ought to stay at home.

It's going to be fun to watch and see how long the meek can keep the earth after they inherit it.