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Be good and you will be lonely.
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When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not.
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Whenever you find that you are on the side of the majority, it is time to reform.
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If you are speaking the truth you don't have to remember anything.
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Nothing that grieves us can be called little: by the eternal laws of proportion a child's loss of a doll and a king's loss of a crown are events of the same size.
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Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
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If you have nothing to say, say nothing.
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Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand.
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Necessity is the mother of taking chances.
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Do something every day that you don't want to do. This is the golden rule for acquiring the habit of doing your duty without pain.
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There isn't a single human characteristic that can be safely labeled as American.
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Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear.
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A habit cannot be tossed out the window; it must be coaxed down the stairs a step at a time.
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A banker is a fellow who lends his umbrella when the sun is shining and wants it back the minute it begins to rain.
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Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more.
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I have a higher and grander standard of principle than George Washington. He could not lie; I can, but I won t.
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I am opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer me the position.
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My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it.
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A lie can run around the world six times while the truth is still trying to put on its pants.
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A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way.
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Methuselah lived to be 969 years old . You boys and girls will see more in the next fifty years than Methuselah saw in his whole lifetime.
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Adam was the luckiest man; he had no mother-in-law.
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I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
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Both marriage and death ought to be welcome: The one promises happiness, doubtless the other assures it.
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A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read.
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Be virtuous and you will be eccentric.
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A man never reaches that dizzy height of wisdom that he can no longer be lead by the nose.
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I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell -- you see, I have friends in both places.
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In the real world, nothing happens at the right place at the right time. It is the job of journalists and historians to correct that.
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Be careless in your dress if you must, but keep a tidy soul.
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A man cannot be made comfortable without his own approval.
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Obscurity and competence: That is the life that is worth living.
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If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man.
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In Boston they ask, How much does he know? In New York, How much is he worth? In Philadelphia, Who were his parents?
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Never let formal education get in the way of your learning.
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If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
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Any so-called material thing that you want is merely a symbol: you want it not for itself, but because it will content your spirit for the moment.
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A man can seldom -- very, very, seldom -- fight a winning fight against his training; the odds are too heavy.
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If you don't like the weather in New England, just wait a few minutes.
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Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
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Barring that natural expression of villainy which we all have, the man looked honest enough.
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Temperate temperance is best; intemperate temperance injures the cause of temperance.
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As a thinker and planner the ant is the equal of any savage race of men; as a self-educated specialist in several arts she is the superior of any savage race of men; and in one or two high mental qualities she is above the reach of any man, savage or civilized!
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Let us so live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.
- 45Up 1Down 0
My books are water; those of the great geniuses are wine -- everybody drinks water.
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The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.
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Of all God's creatures there is only one that cannot be made the slave of the lash. That one is the cat. If man could be crossed with a cat it would improve man, but it would deteriorate the cat.
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The man who does not read books has no advantage over the man that can not read them.
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If you can't get a compliment any other way, pay yourself one.
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Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.
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