The Best Mark Twain Quotes Quotations

The Best Mark Twain Quotes

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A list of the best Mark Twain quotes. List is arranged by which ones are the most famous Mark Twain quotes and which have proven the most popular with visitors to this page. All the top quotes from Mark Twain should be listed here, but if any were missed you can add more quotes by Mark Twain at the end of the list. This list includes notable Mark Twain quotes on various subjects; if you are looking for subject-specific quotes, those can also be found on Ranker along with the authors name.

This list answers the questions, "what is a list of Mark Twain quotes?" and "what are the most famous Mark Twain quotes?"

Vote on this Mark Twain quotations list so that only the greatest Mark Twain quotes rise to the top, as the order of the list changes dynamically based on votes. You can also see the subject these historic Mark Twain quotes displayed to the right of the quote. Don't let your favorite Mark Twain sayings get to the bottom of the list! (149 items)



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  1. 1
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    If you are speaking the truth you don't have to remember anything. Mark Twain

  2. 2
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    When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not. Mark Twain

  3. 3
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    Be virtuous and you will be eccentric. Mark Twain

  4. 4
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    Nothing that grieves us can be called little: by the eternal laws of proportion a child's loss of a doll and a king's loss of a crown are events of the same size. Mark Twain

  5. 5
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    Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself. Mark Twain

  6. 6
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    Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand. Mark Twain

  7. 7
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    Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest. Mark Twain

  8. 8
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    Never let formal education get in the way of your learning. Mark Twain

  9. 9
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    The man who does not read books has no advantage over the man that can not read them. Mark Twain

  10. 10
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    Whenever you find that you are on the side of the majority, it is time to reform. Mark Twain

  11. 11
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    Do something every day that you don't want to do. This is the golden rule for acquiring the habit of doing your duty without pain. Mark Twain

  12. 12
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    A lie can run around the world six times while the truth is still trying to put on its pants. Mark Twain

  13. 13
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    Be good and you will be lonely. Mark Twain

  14. 14
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    Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more. Mark Twain

  15. 15
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    I have a higher and grander standard of principle than George Washington. He could not lie; I can, but I won t. Mark Twain

  16. 16
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    Virtue has never been as respectable as money. Mark Twain

  17. 17
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    If you have nothing to say, say nothing. Mark Twain

  18. 18
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    Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear -- not absence of fear. Mark Twain

  19. 19
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    Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover. Mark Twain

  20. 20
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    If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything. Mark Twain

  21. 21
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    Let us so live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry. Mark Twain

  22. 22
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    I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell -- you see, I have friends in both places. Mark Twain

  23. 23
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    Necessity is the mother of taking chances. Mark Twain

  24. 24
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    A habit cannot be tossed out the window; it must be coaxed down the stairs a step at a time. Mark Twain

  25. 25
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    I have never let my schooling interfere with my education. Mark Twain

  26. 26
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    A banker is a fellow who lends his umbrella when the sun is shining and wants it back the minute it begins to rain. Mark Twain

  27. 27
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    It is easier to stay out than get out. Mark Twain

  28. 28
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    My books are water; those of the great geniuses are wine -- everybody drinks water. Mark Twain

  29. 29
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    A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way. Mark Twain

  30. 30
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    Adam was the luckiest man; he had no mother-in-law. Mark Twain

  31. 31
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    In the real world, nothing happens at the right place at the right time. It is the job of journalists and historians to correct that. Mark Twain

  32. 32
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    Obscurity and competence: That is the life that is worth living. Mark Twain

  33. 33
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    Be careless in your dress if you must, but keep a tidy soul. Mark Twain

  34. 34
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    If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man. Mark Twain

  35. 35
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    In Boston they ask, How much does he know? In New York, How much is he worth? In Philadelphia, Who were his parents? Mark Twain

  36. 36
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    A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read. Mark Twain

  37. 37
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    Methuselah lived to be 969 years old . You boys and girls will see more in the next fifty years than Methuselah saw in his whole lifetime. Mark Twain

  38. 38
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    Both marriage and death ought to be welcome: The one promises happiness, doubtless the other assures it. Mark Twain

  39. 39
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    A man cannot be made comfortable without his own approval. Mark Twain

  40. 40
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    I am opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer me the position. Mark Twain

  41. 41
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    There isn't a single human characteristic that can be safely labeled as American. Mark Twain

  42. 42
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    When angry, count four; when very angry, swear. Mark Twain

  43. 43
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    My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it. Mark Twain

  44. 44
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    Never tell the truth to people who are not worthy of it. Mark Twain

  45. 45
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    Any so-called material thing that you want is merely a symbol: you want it not for itself, but because it will content your spirit for the moment. Mark Twain

  46. 46
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    Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow. Mark Twain

  47. 47
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    A man never reaches that dizzy height of wisdom that he can no longer be lead by the nose. Mark Twain

  48. 48
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    Man was made at the end of the week's work when God was tired. Mark Twain

  49. 49
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    I find that principles have no real force except when one is well fed. Mark Twain

  50. 50
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    Let us be thankful for the fools. But for them the rest of us could not succeed. Mark Twain

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