A List of Famous Ogden Nash Quotes By Reference

A list of quotes from Ogden Nash. Here are the best Ogden Nash quotes on various subjects. The Ogden Nash quotations list is alphabetical but can be sorted by any column. Enjoy these sayings coined by Ogden Nash. You're able to copy this factual list to build your own just like it, re-rank it to fit your views, then publish it to share with your Facebook friends, Twitter followers or with any other social networks you use on a regular basis.

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1

A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of.

Ogden Nash

Dog
2

A flea and a fly

Ogden Nash
3

A husband is a guy who tells you when you've got on too much lipstick and helps you with your girdle when your hips stick.

Ogden Nash

Husband
4

And one of his partners asked Has he vertigo? and the other glanced out and down and said Oh no, only about ten feet more.

Ogden Nash

Suicide
5

Candy, is dandy, but Liquor, is quicker.

Ogden Nash

Alcohol and Alcoholism
6

Children aren't happy with nothing to ignore, and that's what parents were created for.

Ogden Nash

Children
7

Every New Year is the direct descendant, isn't it, of a long line of proven criminals?

Ogden Nash

New Year
8

Good wine needs no bush, and perhaps products that people really want need no hard-sell or soft-sell TV push. Why not? Look at pot.

Ogden Nash

Advertising
9

Here is a pen and here is a pencil, here's a typewriter, here's a stencil, here's a list of today's appointments, and all the flies in all the ointments, the daily woes that a man endures -- take them, George, they're yours!

Ogden Nash

Office
10

How easy for those who do not bulge to not overindulge!

Ogden Nash

Obesity
11

I do not like to get the news, because there has never been an era when so many things were going so right for so many of the wrong persons.

Ogden Nash

News
12

I don't mind their having a lot of money, and I don't care how they employ it, but I do think that they damn well ought to admit they enjoy it.

Ogden Nash

Riches
13

I think remorse ought to stop biting the consciences that feed it.

Ogden Nash

Conscience
14

If you are really Master of your Fate, it shouldn't make any difference to you whether Cleopatra or the Bearded Lady is your mate.

Ogden Nash

Wife
15

If you don't want to work, you have to work to earn enough money so that you won't have to work.

Ogden Nash

Work
16

Indoors or out, no one relaxes in March, that month of wind and taxes, the wind will presently disappear, the taxes last us all the year.

Ogden Nash

Season
17

Life is not having been told that the man has just waxed the floor.

Ogden Nash

Life and Living
18

Man is a victim of dope in the incurable form of hope.

Ogden Nash

Hope
19

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who cannot sleep with window shut, and a woman who cannot sleep with the window open.

Ogden Nash

Marriage
20

Middle age is when you've met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else.

Ogden Nash

Age and Aging
21

No matter how deep and dark your pit, how dank your shroud, their heads are heroically unbloody and unbowed.

Ogden Nash

Grief
22

One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.

Ogden Nash

Remorse
23

Parents were invented to make children happy by giving them something to ignore.

Ogden Nash

Parents and Parenting
24

People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.

Ogden Nash

Wages
25

Professional men, they have no cares; whatever happens, they get theirs.

Ogden Nash

Professions and Professionals
26

Progress might have been alright once, but it has gone on too long.

Ogden Nash

Progress
27

Remorse is a violent dyspepsia of the mind.

Ogden Nash

Repentance
28

The cow is of the bovine ilk: One end is moo, the other, milk.

Ogden Nash

Animal
29

The further through life I drift the more obvious it becomes that I am lacking in thrift.

Ogden Nash

Thrift
30

The most exciting happiness is the happiness generated by forces beyond your control.

Ogden Nash

Happiness
31

The only people who should really sin are the people who can sin and grin.

Ogden Nash

Sin
32

There is only one thing for a man to do who is married to a woman who enjoys spending money, and that is enjoy earning it.

Ogden Nash

Marriage
33

There is only one way to achieve happiness on this terrestrial ball, and that is to have either a clear conscience or none at all.

Ogden Nash

Conscience
34

They take the paper and they read the headlines. So they've heard of unemployment and they've heard of bread-lines. And they philanthropically cure them all by getting up a costume charity ball.

Ogden Nash

Charity
35

To keep your marriage brimming, with love in the wedding cup, whenever you're wrong, admit it; whenever you're right, shut up.

Ogden Nash

Marriage
36

Whether elected or appointed he considers himself the Lord's anointed, and indeed the ointment lingers on him so thick you can't get your fingers on him.

Ogden Nash

Politicians and Politics
37

Your hair may be brushed, but your mind's untidy. You've had about seven hours of sleep since Friday. No wonder you feel that lost sensation. You're sunk from a riot of relaxation.

Ogden Nash

Weekends

Showing items 1 - 25 of 37

A List of Famous Ogden Nash Quotes you can use this list to help make your own ranked list about this topic

A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of.

A flea and a fly

A husband is a guy who tells you when you've got on too much lipstick and helps you with your girdle when your hips stick.

And one of his partners asked Has he vertigo? and the other glanced out and down and said Oh no, only about ten feet more.

Candy, is dandy, but Liquor, is quicker.

Children aren't happy with nothing to ignore, and that's what parents were created for.

Every New Year is the direct descendant, isn't it, of a long line of proven criminals?

Good wine needs no bush, and perhaps products that people really want need no hard-sell or soft-sell TV push. Why not? Look at pot.

Here is a pen and here is a pencil, here's a typewriter, here's a stencil, here's a list of today's appointments, and all the flies in all the ointments, the daily woes that a man endures -- take them, George, they're yours!

How easy for those who do not bulge to not overindulge!

I do not like to get the news, because there has never been an era when so many things were going so right for so many of the wrong persons.

I don't mind their having a lot of money, and I don't care how they employ it, but I do think that they damn well ought to admit they enjoy it.

I think remorse ought to stop biting the consciences that feed it.

If you are really Master of your Fate, it shouldn't make any difference to you whether Cleopatra or the Bearded Lady is your mate.

If you don't want to work, you have to work to earn enough money so that you won't have to work.

Indoors or out, no one relaxes in March, that month of wind and taxes, the wind will presently disappear, the taxes last us all the year.

Life is not having been told that the man has just waxed the floor.

Man is a victim of dope in the incurable form of hope.

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who cannot sleep with window shut, and a woman who cannot sleep with the window open.

Middle age is when you've met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else.

No matter how deep and dark your pit, how dank your shroud, their heads are heroically unbloody and unbowed.

One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.

Parents were invented to make children happy by giving them something to ignore.

People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.

Professional men, they have no cares; whatever happens, they get theirs.

Progress might have been alright once, but it has gone on too long.

Remorse is a violent dyspepsia of the mind.

The cow is of the bovine ilk: One end is moo, the other, milk.

The further through life I drift the more obvious it becomes that I am lacking in thrift.

The most exciting happiness is the happiness generated by forces beyond your control.

The only people who should really sin are the people who can sin and grin.

There is only one thing for a man to do who is married to a woman who enjoys spending money, and that is enjoy earning it.

There is only one way to achieve happiness on this terrestrial ball, and that is to have either a clear conscience or none at all.

They take the paper and they read the headlines. So they've heard of unemployment and they've heard of bread-lines. And they philanthropically cure them all by getting up a costume charity ball.

To keep your marriage brimming, with love in the wedding cup, whenever you're wrong, admit it; whenever you're right, shut up.

Whether elected or appointed he considers himself the Lord's anointed, and indeed the ointment lingers on him so thick you can't get your fingers on him.

Your hair may be brushed, but your mind's untidy. You've had about seven hours of sleep since Friday. No wonder you feel that lost sensation. You're sunk from a riot of relaxation.