Best Robert Benchley Quotes

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.

The biggest obstacle to professional writing is the necessity for changing a typewriter ribbon.

It took me fifteen years to discover I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give it up, because by that time I was too famous.

The free-lance writer is a man who is paid per piece or per word or perhaps.

Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn't the work he is supposed to be doing at the moment.

In America there are two classes of travel - first class, and with children.

The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him.

Most of the arguments to which I am party fall somewhat short of being impressive, knowing to the fact that neither I nor my opponent knows what we are talking about

Drawing on my fine command of the language, I said nothing.

I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things, and I have succeeded fairly well.

Except for an occasional heart attack I feel as young as I ever did.