Al Gore-isms: Funny Al Gore Quotes By Notable Quotables [16 more lists]

The "funny" quotes by former Vice President Al Gore are a rare compendium. Stupid quotes from Al Gore are abound, but never seem to be publicized enough, no matter how unfunny they may be! Al Gore is noted for his gaffes, silly flubs and boasts among other things that he has achieved so far. While he may be an oscar and nobel prize winner, Al Gore proves you can win awards and still put your foot in your mouth. Al Gore's gaffes seem to be very real clues to the inner man. Here's the former VP putting his foot in his mouth or trying to be funny and failing.

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1

"...doggone it, people like me."

"All I have to do is be the best Al I can be, because I'm good enough, I'm smart enough and, doggone it, people like me"

On "Saturday Night Live," being counseled by Stuart Smalley
2

" ... I took the initiative in creating the Internet."

"During my service in the United States Congress I took the initiative in creating the Internet."

During a 1999 interview with CNN's Wolf Blitzer
3

"But I assure you, we will not let the glaciers win."

"In the last six years, we have been able to stop global warming. No one could have predicted the negative results of this. Glaciers that once were melting are now on the attack. As you know, these renegade glaciers have already captured parts of upper Michigan and northern Maine. But I assure you, we will not let the glaciers win."

Addressing the nation as if he were president on Saturday Night Live
4

"I used to be the next president of the United States of America."

"I am Al Gore, and I used to be the next president of the United States of America."

In a speech at Bocconi University in Milan, Italy
5

"I was the first one laid off."

"I am concerned about the economy. I was the first one laid off."

In a speech to biotech executives in California
6

"I think I may have a future as a disembodied head."

"I think I may have a f*ture as a disembodied head."

Discussing his appearances on the television show "F*turama"
7

"I told him he ought to call this one 'Kill Al, Vol. 1.'"

"Lawrence Bender, who made all of Quentin Tarantino's movies, produced this documentary, and the production schedule was so grueling, I told him he ought to call this one 'Kill Al, Vol. 1.'"

On filming An Inconvenient Truth
8

"I gave you the Internet and I can take it away."

"Remember America, I gave you the Internet and I can take it away."

The #9 item on the "Top 10 Rejected Gore-Lieberman Campaign Slogans," read by Al Gore on the "Late Show with David Letterman"
9

"I want to have some bread crumbs leading back to my dignity."

"I'm sure this is funny. But at the end of this I want to have some bread crumbs leading back to my dignity."

Vetoing a sketch about flatulence during a read-through for his appearance on "Saturday Night Live"
10

"I'll put NASA funding in a hermetically sealed Ziploc bag."

"My plan to put Social Security in an ironclad lockbox has gotten a lot of attention recently, and I'm glad about that. But I'm afraid that it's overshadowing some vitally important proposals. For instance, I'll put Medicaid in a walk-in closet. I'll put the Community Reinvestment Act in a secured gym locker. I'll put NASA funding in a hermetically sealed Ziploc bag."

At the 2000 Al Smith Dinner
11

"I'm on about step 9 ... recovering, boozing it up of course."

"I think of myself as a recovering politician. I'm on about step 9 ... recovering, boozing it up of course."

Discussing the launch of his new TV network, Current, with Jay Leno
12

"I have faith in Baseball Commissioner George W. Bush.."

"Baseball, our national pastime, still lies under the shadow of steroid accusations. But I have faith in Baseball Commissioner George W. Bush when he says, 'we will find the steroid users if we have to tap every phone in America.'"

"President Gore" on Saturday Night Live
13

"I'm going to take this opportunity right here and now to formally announce..."

"Even though I honestly had not planned on doing this, I guess with a billion people watching, it's as good a time as any. So, my fellow Americans, I'm going to take this opportunity right here and now to formally announce..."

Pretending to announce for president before being drowned out by the orchestra at the Oscars
14

"Hillary Clinton, I want to fight for you.''

"I did think it was effective when I weaved in stories of real people in the audience and their everyday challenges. Like the woman here tonight whose husband is about to lose his job. She's struggling to get out of public housing and get a job of her own. Hillary Clinton, I want to fight for you.''

At the 2000 Al Smith Dinner
15

"I don't want you to think I lie awake at night counting and recounting sheep."

""I had hoped to be back here this week under different circumstances, running for re-election. But you know the old saying: you win some, you lose some. And then there's that little-known third category. I didn't come here tonight to talk about the past. After all, I don't want you to think I lie awake at night counting and recounting sheep. I prefer to focus on the f*ture because I know from my own experience that America is a land of opportunity, where every little boy and girl has a chance to grow up and win the popular vote."

At the 2004 Democratic Convention
16

"I have no plans to do a nude scene."

"I have had other offers. But, frankly, Jay, when you refuse to do nude scenes, it really cuts down on the opportunities. ... I just want to clarify. I have no plans to do a nude scene. I have no intention to do a nude scene. I don't expect to do a nude scene. But I haven't made a Shermanesque statement about it."

After Jay Leno asked him if we was entertaining other film offers after the success of An Inconvenient Truth
17

"I'm 58 years old. That's the new 57."

"I have no plans to be a candidate for president again, I don't expect to ever be a candidate for president again. I haven't made a so-called Sherman statement because it just seems unnecessary, kind of odd to do that. I'm 58 years old. That's the new 57."

Appearing on This Week
18

"I would have kissed Tipper much longer."

"I often get asked the question, 'Is there anything I would have done differently?' And yes there is. If I had it to do over again, I would have kissed Tipper much longer at the convention. But she was struggling."

On the 2000 presidential race
19

"I put all of sighs in a lockbox."

"I put all of sighs in a lockbox."

On the difference in tone between the first and second presidential debates
20

"To you I say, 'what part of lockbox don't you understand?'"

"There are some of you who would like to spend our money on some made-up war. To you I say, 'what part of lockbox don't you understand?'"

"President Gore" on Saturday Night Live