- 1+ 14- 1
Steve Stifler: "I love the Twilight books. New Moon is my favorite!"
Teen Girl: "Mine too!"
Steve Stifler: "Oh my god, it's like, we have so much in common!"
Stifler, not surprisingly, makes sure that somehow, the guys wind up at a party for a bunch of teenagers. His knowledge of the 'Twilight' books might come in handy...Team Stifler!
- 2+ 11- 4
A Well-Placed Thumbv
Jim's Dad: "I have not had a night like that since the 70s."
Jim: "Don't need this."
Jim's Dad: "You'd be surprised what you can do with a well-placed thumb."
Dear Jim's Dad: TMI. Way, way TMI. Everyone's been waiting for you to get it on with Stifler's mom, but we don't need a play by play. Or do we? This is an 'American Pie' movie, after all...
- 3+ 5- 0
Don't Touch Thatv
Jim: "Evan! What the...you're opening doors now?!" (slams laptop down on privates and throws sock on Evan's head) "Oh my god, oh my god...don't touch that!"
This particular quote really needs little explanation. Just watch the clip, okay? It's classic 'American Pie' humor as Jim does...well...what Jim does.
- 4+ 7- 2
Be Her Daddyv
Steve Sifler: "There's a smoking hot 18-year-old girl that you used to babysit. And you're not going to do anything about that?"
Jim: "Need I remind you that I am married to Michelle?
Steve Sifler: "Exactly. Dude, you could take what you learn from Kara, bring it home and apply it to Michelle. You do care about your marriage, don't you Jim?"
Jim: "What are you talking about Stifler? I'm not going to cheat on my wife! I'm a father."
Steve Sifler: "Yeah, that's perfect! Yeah, chicks love a father figure...keep playing that card."
Jim: "It's not a card, it's the truth."
Kara: "Hey. What are you guys talking about?"
Steve Stifler: "Oh, you know, just - Jim was just saying how much fun he had taking care of you. Hey ladies, why don't we give them some time to catch up...(looks at Jim) "Be her daddy."
Classic Stifler here. Leave it to Steve to try and get Jim to hookup with Kara, an 18-year-old hottie that he used to babysit.
- 5+ 9- 5
Jim's Dad: "And who might you be?"
Stifler's Mom: "I'm Stifler's mom."
Jim's Dad: "Oh! I'm Jim's dad..."
Best. Lines. Ever. This hookup is going to be epic! Finch will be devastated.
- 6+ 4- 1
High School Was Awesomev
Steve Stifler: "High school was awesome. But then we graduated and everybody started getting married and all that other stupid crap..."
Stifler is really the only one in the group that has kind of gotten stuck in high school. There's always one, isn't there?
- 7+ 4- 3
That One Time, at Band Campv
Michelle: "There um, hasn't been a whole lot of sexy time in the Levenstein household lately."
Selena: "Why not?"
Michelle: "I don't know. I'm a mom now..."
Selena: "Oh please. Just because your a mom doesn't mean there isn't a whole other side to you."
Michelle: "Hey! Remember that one time, at band camp, when we licked whipped cream off each others..."
Selena: "Yes! Yes, I remember...let's keep that in the past though, okay?"
You knew there'd be a band camp quote, didn't you? Michelle never misses an opportunity to relive those glorious, wild escapades at camp. Where's her flute?
- 8+ 3- 2
We Were More Mature
Kevin: "Were we just as obnoxious as these kids back in the day?"
Finch: "No, our generation was definitely more mature."
This is definitely one of those times when you realize, with a start, that you are, in fact, getting older and becoming more mature. Any sentence that involves the words "kids today" or "back in the day" automatically get you a fast pass to adult status.
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