- 1+ 6- 0
24-Hour News Channelv
Freddie Shapp: "We're starting a 24-hour news channel and we want you."
Ron Burgundy: "I'm going to do the thing that god put Ron Burgundy on this earth to do, have salon-quality hair and read the news."
After some time out of the business, Ron Burgundy is approached by Freddie Shapp at GNN, a new cable news network, looking to hire him. He does what any anchorman does, fulfill his duty to look good and read the news.
- 2+ 8- 1
Champ Kind: "That's Jack Kind. Look at him. He's a prince."
Ron Burgundy: "He's not that great."
Jack Lime: "What'd you say?"
Brick Tamland: [yelling] "He said you're not that great!"
Ron Burgundy: "Brick!"
Just as he had Wes Mantooth in San Diego, Ron and crew have rivals in New York. When they run into one another and much thanks to Brick, their meeting does not go so well.
- 3+ 7- 1
Brick Tamland: "Your hair looks like wet popcorn."
Chani: "I like the parts of your face that are covered with skin."
Just as you'd imagine dating would go for Brick Tamland, he meets a like-minded lady, Chani. They instantly hit it off.
- 4+ 6- 1
Ron Burgundy: "We've got a job in New York City."
Brian Fantana: "Hey Ron, who's driving?"
Ron Burgundy: "It's okay. It's on cruise control."
Champ Kind: "Why do you have this bag of bowling balls and this terrarium filled with scorpions?"
Ron Burgundy: "It's a crazy story."
Brian Fantana: "Cruise control just regulates speed. It doesn't steer."
Brick Tamland: "He says we're all gonna die!"
Ron Burgundy: "That is going to make one hell of a story."
With a job in New York City waiting for them, the news crew travels across the country in a motorhome. Ron however fails to understand how cruise control works and crashes them all, along with bowling balls and scorpions. But hey, at least it's a good story.
- 5+ 3- 1
Where's My Legs?v
Brick Tamland: "Let's take a look at the big map. Where's the map?"
Ron Burgundy: "Take a look at the monitor."
Brick Tamland: "Oh god, Ron, where's my legs? I don't have any legs, Ron. Ahhh! In 93, 93…"
The technology has changed a bit since Brick did the weather, especially with green screen maps. Unfortunately Brick wore green pants that day and is now freaking out thinking his legs are missing.
- 6+ 2- 0
Brick, You're Not Dead
Ed Harken: "We all loved Brick."
Ron Burgundy: "Sweet Brick"
Ed Harken: "I'm told the next speaker was very close to him."
Brick Tamland: "Why?! Why did you take him from us?!"
Ron Burgundy: "Brick, you're not dead."
Brick Tamland: "I'm alive?"
Ron, Champ and Brian: "Yes"
Brick Tamland: "I'm alive!"
The new crew assembles at the funeral of weatherman Brick Tamland but are soon surprised to see Brick himself speaking. In true Brick fashion, the fact that Brick is alive is news to Brick.
- 7+ 3- 2
What Time You Feed That Mustachev
Jack Lime: "Welcome to the station. Just wondering what time you feed that mustache."
Ron Burgundy: "Maybe I'll feed it a ham sandwich."
Jack Lime: "Hey don't make jokes off my jokes!"
The gloves are off as Ron and new rival Jack Lime trade barbs. One thing is for sure, there will be a lot of jokes and jokes off of jokes, as a result.
- 8+ 1- 0
Are You a Vampire?
Ron Burgundy: "You're not black or Asian."
GNN Reporter: "I'm gay."
Champ Kind: "Do you sleep in a coffin?"
GNN Reporter: "No, that's vampires."
Brian Fantana: "Are you allowed to be out in the sun?"
GNN Reporter: "Those are also vampires."
Brick Tamland: "Are you a vampire?"
Ron, Champ, Brian and Brick, clearly unfamiliar with gay people, ask one GNN reporter a number of odd questions. They might not understand gay people but they seem to have a good hold on vampires.
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