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- 1+ 12- 3
60% of the Time, It Works Every TimevBrian Fantana: "I'll give this little cookie an hour before we're doing the no-pants dance. Time to musk up."
Ron Burgundy: "Wow. Never ceases to amaze me. What cologne you gonna go with? London Gentleman, or wait. No, no, no. Hold on. Blackbeard's Delight."
Brian Fantana: "No, she gets a special cologne... It's called Sex Panther by Odeon. It's illegal in nine countries... Yep, it's made with bits of real panther, so you know it's good."
Ron Burgundy: "It's quite pungent."
Brian Fantana: "Oh yeah."
Ron Burgundy: "It's a formidable scent... It stings the nostrils. In a good way."
Brian Fantana: "Yep."
Ron Burgundy: "Brian, I'm gonna be honest with you, that smells like pure gasoline."
Brian Fantana: "They've done studies, you know. 60% of the time, it works every time."
Ron Burgundy: "That doesn't make sense."
Brian Fantana: "Well... Let's go see if we can make this little kitty purr."
Veronica Corningstone: "My God, what is that smell? Oh."
Brian Fantana: "That's the smell of desire my lady."
Veronica Corningstone: "God no, it smells like, like a used diaper... filled with... Indian food. Oh, excuse me."
Brian Fantana: "You know, desire smells like that to some people."
News Station Employee: "What is that? Smells like a turd covered in burnt hair."
News Station Employee: "Smells like Bigfoot's dick!"
Brian Fantana: "Woah, what's that smell?"
Hot in pursuit of the new girl, Brian Fantana pulls out a very special cologne from his hidden wall of scents. Despite containing bits of real panther, the stench of Sex Panther does not seduce Veronica Corningstone, rather reminds her of a used diaper filled with Indian food, not desire.
- 2+ 8- 2
I Love LampvBrick Tamland: "I'm Brick Tamland. People seem to like me because I am polite and I am rarely late. I like to eat ice cream and I really enjoy a nice pair of slacks. Years later, a doctor will tell me that I have an I.Q. of 48 and am what some people call mentally retarded."
Brick Tamland: "I love... carpet... I love... desk."
Ron Burgundy: "Brick, are you just looking at things in the office and saying that you love them?"
Brick Tamland: "I love lamp."
Ron Burgundy: "Do you really love the lamp, or are you just saying it because you saw it?"
Brick Tamland: "I love lamp. I love lamp."
Despite his low IQ, weatherman Brick Tamland, portrayed by Steve Carell, brings some of the funniest and most quotable lines from "Anchorman." Never before have people been able to express their love for lamp or scream things like "LOUD NOISES" and get away with it.
- 3+ 7- 2
You Stay Classy, San Diego.vRon Burgundy: "For all of us here at News Center 4, I'm Ron Burgundy. You stay classy, San Diego."
As his signature sign-off line, News Team 4 anchor Ron Burgundy always closes his newscasts with the line "You stay classy, San Diego." Well always until that evil pirate hooker Veronica Corningstone gets someone to change the teleprompter because you know anything you put on that prompter, Burgundy will read.
- 4+ 7- 3
I'm in A Glass Case of EmotionvBrian Fantana: "Where are you, Ron?"
Ron Burgundy: "I'm in a glass case of emotion!"
After losing his best friend Baxter, Ron Burgundy breaks down and flips out in a telephone booth. He calls the news station only to find out even worse news, that in his absence, Veronica Corningstone will read the news. This changes everything for Ron Burgundy as he quickly goes from being madly in love with Veronica to completely despising her for wanting to be an anchor.
- 5+ 9- 6
You Pooped in the Refrigerator?vBaxter: (barks)
Ron Burgundy: "You're so wise. You're like a miniature Buddha covered in hair."
Ron Burgundy: "Come again?"
Ron Burgundy: "You know I don't speak Spanish. In English please."
Ron Burgundy: "Huh? You pooped in the refrigerator? And you ate the whole... wheel of cheese? How'd you do that? That's actually, I'm not even mad; that's amazing. How 'bout we get you in your p.j.'s and we hit the hay."
Of the many things Ron Burgundy loves (besides scotch), his little dog Baxter is his most beloved. The pair share similar pajamas, dental headgear and a special way to communicate, as shown in this scene which also provides some of the most memorable quotes from "Anchorman" like "You're like a miniature Buddha covered in hair." and "You pooped in the refrigerator."
- 6+ 5- 2
I'm Kind of a Big DealvRon Burgundy: "Do you know who I am?"
Veronica Corningstone: "No, I can't say that I do."
Ron Burgundy: "I don't know how to put this, but, I'm kind of a big deal."
Veronica Corningstone: "Really?"
Ron Burgundy: "People know me."
Veronica Corningstone: "Well I'm very happy for you."
Ron Burgundy: "I'm very important. I have many leather-bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany."
Though you'd think that for someone about to join a new news station, Veronica Corningstone would have done some research about her new co-workers but alas she's unaware of just how important Ron Burgundy is when meeting her at a party. Then again, since she blows him off during their first meeting, maybe Veronica is unimpressed by how big of a deal he (thinks he) is.
- 7+ 5- 3
I'm Going to Punch You in the OvaryvRon Burgundy: "Well, for all of us here at the Channel 4 News, I'm Ron Burgundy. You stay classy, San Diego."
Veronica Corningstone: "And thanks for stopping by."
Ron Burgundy: "But mainly, stay classy."
Veronica Corningstone: "Thanks for stopping by."
Ron Burgundy: "Stay classy. I'm Ron Burgundy."
Veronica Corningstone: "Thanks for stopping by."
Ron Burgundy: "Stay classy. Ron Burgundy... You are a real hooker. I'm going to slap you in public."
Veronica Corningstone: "You have way too much pubic hair."
Ron Burgundy: "Actually that's a point of pride. I'm very proud of my mane of pubic hair so, thank you."
Veronica Corningstone: "You have man boobs."
Ron Burgundy: "You've got a dirty whorish mouth. That's what you have... I'm gonna punch you in the ovary, that's what I'm gonna do. A straight shot. Right to the babymaker."
You know those brief moments at the end of newscasts when you can see the anchors talking but you can't hear what they are saying? Well if those anchors are Ron Burgundy and Veronica Corningstone, the conversation sounds something like this.
- 8+ 4- 2
A Whale's VaginavRon Burgundy: "Discovered by the Germans in 1904, they named it San Diego, which of course in German means a whale's vagina."
Veronica Corningstone: "No, there's no way that's correct."
Ron Burgundy: "I'm sorry, I was trying to impress you. I don't know what it means. I'll be honest, I don't think anyone knows what it means anymore. Scholars maintain that the translation was lost hundreds of years ago."
Veronica Corningstone: "Doesn't it mean Saint Diego?"
Ron Burgundy: "No. No."
Veronica Corningstone: "No, that's - that's what it means. Really."
Ron Burgundy: "Agree to disagree."
Ron Burgundy may be making things up as he goes and they may be further from the actual truth but in this case, they are really hilarious.