- 1+ 23- 21
Sex in a Can
There are so many things about Sex in a Can than can be said and shouldn't. Available from the good people at Fleshlight, the interior of the innocuous looking beer cans is a cavalcade of simulated flesh and is available in...well, let's just say it: oral, anal and vaginal. Unless someone already knows what they're looking for when entering the bedroom, any of your slutty gentlemen friends could keep this on their bedside table without anyone being the wiser.
- 2+ 13- 14
"Wait, Was That Slutty?" Hand Sanitizer
Your friend probably has enough experience with the question to answer it on their own, but there's no harm in supplying your slutty friend with a little anti-bacterial gel to fight off whatever they've been touching lately. The good folks at BlueQ don't stop at answering the question of "Was that slutty?", they also offer "Thanks for holding my hair back", "You Nasty", "What the hell?", and simply "Ew." sanitizers for the convenience of your ho-ish friend.
- 3+ 11- 14
Rubber Duckie Vibrator
You remember the tune from Sesame Street: Rubber duckie, you're the one (that gets me off). You make bath time, so much fun (*rrrrrrrrrr*). Rubber duckie, I'm awfully fond of you (and your magical vibrating power).
Go ahead and ruin your slutty female friend's childhood memories with this "personal massager" from fit for the bathtub. Big Teaze Toyos floating sex toy, which is battery powered, is sure to float your slutty friend's boat. And hey, in case you're concerned about this not-kid-friendly toy being sent to your place, Amazon promises that the duck ships in "discreet, neutral packing and fast".
Also comes in Bondage duckie.
- 4+ 6- 8
If you've never had your undies stolen by your one-night stand, you're a lucky lady or gentleman. If you've never had to dash quickly from a room without the luxury of time to figure out what crevice of the room (bath, living, bed) your pantaloons have ended up, well, maybe you're not a slut. If you are a slut, however, you may need to dash off to your next appointment without all your undergarments. Enter disposable underwear, a discreet, trashable, temporary article of clothing that could make the difference between basic presentation and Basic Instinct.
Buy disposable pantaloons here.
- 5+ 8- 11
If you're buying for a slutty female friend, chances are they have had/will have their fair share of one-night stands and walks of shame. Why not equip them with a respite from the heels they surely wore out to the club the night before and gift them with a pair of After Flats, the rollable, foldable shoes that fit in your purse. Yeah, she's still going to be walking into the daylight in her mini skirt, but at least she can walk a little faster past those who might be throwing shade in the sunlight.
- 6+ 6- 9
If your friend embraces the slut moniker (or if you just happen to know they're a bit promiscuous), they probably already own a well-worn copy of "50 Shades of Grey." Instead, spice up their book shelf with a copy of "Lady Chatterley's Lover," the graphic tale of an upper-class woman who has an explicit affair with a lower-class man. First printed in 1928, the book used a whole lot of words inappropriate for printing at the time and is considered an erotic tale of legendary status. So, yeah, boobs and books: winning combo.
- 7+ 9- 13
Ultra Slut Body Detergent
It bears a striking resemblance to laundry powder, and let's face it: your slutty friend should be washing top to tails. No better way to let them know than to present them with a whole box of ultra strength slut wash. Bonus: comes in a handy, portable one-night stand size.
- 8+ 8- 13
Portable Battery Pack
The best of us forget to charge our phones when we're supposed to, so for the friend who may find themselves with a dead battery the morning after, hook them up with a portable battery pack to revive their phone as they seek out a coffee shop to revive their senses.
Check out a selection of portable battery chargers here.
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