Ménage à troisv
Declare your resolution to be to engage in a threesome. It's not just for promiscuous college students anymore. Just make sure your grandma doesn't walk in during your sensual escapade.
This year be you. Don't apologize for anything. Spilled a drink on someone? Just look at them like it's their fault. Let the door slam on the person behind you? Just keep walking. Let one go in the elevator? Give a grimacing look to the person on your left. Let's everyone try it and see what happens.
Everyone wants to waste less time but why? We have plenty of time might as well goof off. Turn even simply mundane tasks into exciting adventures. Even our troops manage to enjoy the simple pleasures of life by goofing off. Check out this seriously kick ass clip. Definitely something you should try at home.
Party More Not Less
Ignore Your Children
Everyone loves air quotes. Use them in every conversation throughout the year. Even better use them in every sentence in every conversation. This is especial useful when explaining things to your boss. He'll love it when you repeat his own words back to him with air quotes.
Most people resolve to procrastinate less. Be bold and differentiate yourself from the crowd. Declare this New Year's to procrastinate or wait till tomorrow.
This new year resolve to use cliches and cheesy quotes in as many conversations as possible. Someone gets pregnant tell them "that's the way the cookie crumbles". Your spouse asks you to clean the house, tell them "homie don't play that". Be a bastion of played out cliches and everyone will love you.
Resolve to visit the happiest place on Earth. Disneyland's new "give a day get a day" gives you free admission to Disneyland.
You get the opportunity to volunteer for the betterment of humanity then go to ride roller coasters and buy $5 dollar hot dogs. It's a win win!
The recent failed bombing attempt of Northwest flight 253 has reminded us all planes are still targets of terrorism. The would be bomber was stopped by an ordinary man who leaped over several passengers to extinguish the flames.
Any one of us can take action to stop a terrorist on a plane. Just remember there's likely to only be a handful of terrorist on a plane against hundreds of passengers. This year make you resolution to be a hero if the time ever comes.