reddit The Greatest Shower Thoughts Ever Thought  

Mark Holmes
132k votes 9.7k voters 2.3M views 99 items Follow Embed
The subreddit /r/Showerthoughts is full of brilliant, concise insights thought up in that great, steamy thinktank: the shower. We (most of us) bathe in quiet solitude, with neither friends nor social media to entertain us lest we get our devices wet and ruin them. Amidst all that lathering and rinsing, the mind wanders, and for the duration of each shower, anything is possible.

 What do you think about during your most vulnerable moments? Space travel? The strange ways we use language? How cats have whisker-eyebrows and nobody really talks about it? This list collects the best of the Shower Thoughts subreddit – with credit to their original thinkers – for you to enjoy, ponder, and rank. Vote up the ones that make you be like, "Yeah. Yep." 

1
+ - 2,938 530
Saying "um" is the hum... is listed (or ranked) 1 on the list The Greatest Shower Thoughts Ever Thought
Saying "um" is the human equivalent to buffering. /u/AnxietyAttack2013

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2
+ - 3,318 692
If Bruce Willis dies from Viag... is listed (or ranked) 2 on the list The Greatest Shower Thoughts Ever Thought
If Bruce Willis dies from Viagra overdose, the headline will read "Bruce Willis Dies Hard." /u/dr721

3
+ - 1,761 331
Fish who are caught and releas... is listed (or ranked) 3 on the list The Greatest Shower Thoughts Ever Thought
Fish who are caught and released are like the aquatic equivalent of people who claim to have been abducted by aliens. /u/brandonberry

4
+ - 2,390 489
If mary had baby jesus, and je... is listed (or ranked) 4 on the list The Greatest Shower Thoughts Ever Thought
If mary had baby jesus, and jesus is the lamb of god.... Then mary really did have a little lamb. /u/Indian_of_legend

5
+ - 2,428 512
A group of squid should be cal... is listed (or ranked) 5 on the list The Greatest Shower Thoughts Ever Thought
A group of squid should be called a squad. Thediepend

6
+ - 1,996 403
If the oldest person on earth ... is listed (or ranked) 6 on the list The Greatest Shower Thoughts Ever Thought
If the oldest person on earth is 116 years old, then 117 years ago, there was a completely different set of human beings on earth. /u/LordofSloths

7
+ - 1,788 352
When you're a kid, dick jo... is listed (or ranked) 7 on the list The Greatest Shower Thoughts Ever Thought
When you're a kid, dick jokes are considered adult content, but when you're an adult, they're considered immature. /u/kraken_calamari

8
+ - 2,331 498
I wonder how many times I've w... is listed (or ranked) 8 on the list The Greatest Shower Thoughts Ever Thought
I wonder how many times I've walked past or come into contact with a murderer. /u/KnibbHighFB

9
+ - 1,345 248
Let's take a moment to appreci... is listed (or ranked) 9 on the list The Greatest Shower Thoughts Ever Thought
Let's take a moment to appreciate that mother nature not only pre-sliced but also pre-wrapped oranges. /u/Steel_Ninja

10
+ - 1,379 257
Cars should have two horns: on... is listed (or ranked) 10 on the list The Greatest Shower Thoughts Ever Thought
Cars should have two horns: one is a "nice" one, the other is a "mean" one. /u/DDYLK

11
+ - 2,322 509
I bet attractive people think ... is listed (or ranked) 11 on the list The Greatest Shower Thoughts Ever Thought
I bet attractive people think the world is a lot more polite than it really is. /u/shicky536

12
+ - 1,934 408
Most of my clothes have been t... is listed (or ranked) 12 on the list The Greatest Shower Thoughts Ever Thought
Most of my clothes have been to countries that I have not. /u/zerophaze

13
+ - 1,881 395
The reason "cheaters never... is listed (or ranked) 13 on the list The Greatest Shower Thoughts Ever Thought
The reason "cheaters never win" is because the cheaters that did win didn't get caught. /u/RocketHopper

14
+ - 2,197 479
I have no idea what I've forgo... is listed (or ranked) 14 on the list The Greatest Shower Thoughts Ever Thought
I have no idea what I've forgotten. /u/philly_jay

15
+ - 1,921 409
Getting birthday money is the ... is listed (or ranked) 15 on the list The Greatest Shower Thoughts Ever Thought
Getting birthday money is the real life equivalent of passing 'go' and collecting $200. /u/Angry_Spacepimp

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16
+ - 2,157 472
History classes are only going... is listed (or ranked) 16 on the list The Greatest Shower Thoughts Ever Thought
History classes are only going to get longer and harder as time goes on. /u/RealDirtyDan

17
+ - 1,620 330
Everyone actually has 3 voices... is listed (or ranked) 17 on the list The Greatest Shower Thoughts Ever Thought
Everyone actually has 3 voices, the one in your head, the one you hear when you talk and the one that everyone else hears instead. /u/stillegal

18
+ - 1,435 283
Technically, it's impossib... is listed (or ranked) 18 on the list The Greatest Shower Thoughts Ever Thought
Technically, it's impossible to skip breakfast. The first time you eat during a day is when you "break your fast." /u/scadrafein

19
+ - 2,264 506
We rescue homeless animals and... is listed (or ranked) 19 on the list The Greatest Shower Thoughts Ever Thought
We rescue homeless animals and shun homeless people. /u/NewMaterialOnly

20
+ - 1,598 329
They should mark the last tiss... is listed (or ranked) 20 on the list The Greatest Shower Thoughts Ever Thought
They should mark the last tissues in a box with red lines like they do with receipt paper. /u/sharkis

21
+ - 1,794 385
Why do people say "tuna fi... is listed (or ranked) 21 on the list The Greatest Shower Thoughts Ever Thought
Why do people say "tuna fish" when they don't say "beef mammal" or "chicken bird"? /u/KaptainH

22
+ - 2,451 568
"Strap-on" spelled bac... is listed (or ranked) 22 on the list The Greatest Shower Thoughts Ever Thought
"Strap-on" spelled backwards is "no parts." /u/Illuminaughty66

23
+ - 1,654 358
Aliens invaded the Moon on Jul... is listed (or ranked) 23 on the list The Greatest Shower Thoughts Ever Thought
Aliens invaded the Moon on July 20th, 1969. /u/pollenatedweasel

24
+ - 1,265 258
The witches from "Sabrina&... is listed (or ranked) 24 on the list The Greatest Shower Thoughts Ever Thought
The witches from "Sabrina" naming their cat Salem is like a Jewish family naming a cat Auschwitz /u/OldMikeyboy

25
+ - 1,486 321
"my entire life has led up... is listed (or ranked) 25 on the list The Greatest Shower Thoughts Ever Thought
"my entire life has led up to this moment" is always true. /u/NoIntroductionNeeded

26
+ - 1,523 332
If I'm lucky, my internal orga... is listed (or ranked) 26 on the list The Greatest Shower Thoughts Ever Thought
If I'm lucky, my internal organs will never see the light of day. /u/Strant

27
+ - 1,085 211
"Arms" is another word... is listed (or ranked) 27 on the list The Greatest Shower Thoughts Ever Thought
"Arms" is another word for guns, and "guns" is another word for arms. /u/lemonsmcbob

28
+ - 1,123 226
Most people can eat the same b... is listed (or ranked) 28 on the list The Greatest Shower Thoughts Ever Thought
Most people can eat the same breakfast weeks in a row, without complaint. But the same dinner for weeks? Now, that's just insanity. /u/roessera

29
+ - 1,366 300
We say "hair" when ref... is listed (or ranked) 29 on the list The Greatest Shower Thoughts Ever Thought
We say "hair" when referring to lots of it but we say "hairs" when referring to a few. /u/VoteBumblebee

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30
+ - 1,296 285
The person who would proof rea... is listed (or ranked) 30 on the list The Greatest Shower Thoughts Ever Thought
The person who would proof read Hitler's speeches was a grammar Nazi. /u/PhantomDukie

31
+ - 973 194
If I were a serial killer I wo... is listed (or ranked) 31 on the list The Greatest Shower Thoughts Ever Thought
If I were a serial killer I would call myself "the suspense" so that the suspense would literally be killing people. /u/AhrmiintheUnseen

32
+ - 1,581 377
I will be the last person to d... is listed (or ranked) 32 on the list The Greatest Shower Thoughts Ever Thought
I will be the last person to die in my lifetime. /u/myfajahas400children

33
+ - 1,157 257
Asking someone "where are ... is listed (or ranked) 33 on the list The Greatest Shower Thoughts Ever Thought
Asking someone "where are you" is a recent thing. Before we had mobile phones, the only way we could talk to people is if we knew where they were. /u/saint1997

34
+ - 1,123 250
"Squawks" said backwar... is listed (or ranked) 34 on the list The Greatest Shower Thoughts Ever Thought
"Squawks" said backwards still sounds the same even though it's not a palindrome

35
+ - 1,206 278
If Katniss and Peeta from Hung... is listed (or ranked) 35 on the list The Greatest Shower Thoughts Ever Thought
If Katniss and Peeta from Hunger Games were hollywood celebrities, their supercouple nickname would either be Katpee or Peeniss. /u/beinagrind_i_skapnum

36
+ - 1,254 293
Nothing is on fire, fire is on... is listed (or ranked) 36 on the list The Greatest Shower Thoughts Ever Thought
Nothing is on fire, fire is on things. /u/GuitarPerson159

37
+ - 1,249 303
Mothers only get a day but sha... is listed (or ranked) 37 on the list The Greatest Shower Thoughts Ever Thought
Mothers only get a day but sharks get a whole week. /u/jmoney73

38
+ - 992 228
If you did something like a bo... is listed (or ranked) 38 on the list The Greatest Shower Thoughts Ever Thought
If you did something like a boss, you'd probably just pay someone else to do it. /u/mcgeeb

39
+ - 1,030 242
When you "bite down" o... is listed (or ranked) 39 on the list The Greatest Shower Thoughts Ever Thought
When you "bite down" on something, you're actually "biting up" because you can't move your top jaw. /u/okspeck

40
+ - 1,191 295
In order to fall asleep, you h... is listed (or ranked) 40 on the list The Greatest Shower Thoughts Ever Thought
In order to fall asleep, you have to pretend to be asleep. /u/conesarecool

41
+ - 1,350 347
Google earth is good for findi... is listed (or ranked) 41 on the list The Greatest Shower Thoughts Ever Thought
Google earth is good for finding out which of your neighbors has a pool. /u/wtb2612

42
+ - 1,082 261
If people on a planet 65 milli... is listed (or ranked) 42 on the list The Greatest Shower Thoughts Ever Thought
If people on a planet 65 million light years away look at earth, they see dinosaurs. /u/Rowhardorrowhome

43
+ - 1,225 309
I wonder if I am closer to my ... is listed (or ranked) 43 on the list The Greatest Shower Thoughts Ever Thought
I wonder if I am closer to my death or my birth right now. /u/ohnowhyme

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44
+ - 1,302 344
If there's a "heavens ... is listed (or ranked) 44 on the list The Greatest Shower Thoughts Ever Thought
If there's a "heavens no" and a "hell yea," why isn't there a "purgatory perhaps"? /u/AlyxVeldin

45
+ - 1,014 251
If Homer Simpson were a democr... is listed (or ranked) 45 on the list The Greatest Shower Thoughts Ever Thought
If Homer Simpson were a democratic congressman from Springfield, Ohio, he'd be Homer Simpson (D-OH). /u/Nulono

46
+ - 805 182
Spacesuits are literally made ... is listed (or ranked) 46 on the list The Greatest Shower Thoughts Ever Thought
Spacesuits are literally made to protect astronauts from nothing /u/cyberk25

47
+ - 979 243
Once you have a phd, every mee... is listed (or ranked) 47 on the list The Greatest Shower Thoughts Ever Thought
Once you have a phd, every meeting you go to becomes a doctor's appointment. /u/Sland

48
+ - 985 250
In the last 20 years, I won ov... is listed (or ranked) 48 on the list The Greatest Shower Thoughts Ever Thought
In the last 20 years, I won over $7,300 by not buying a lottery ticket every day. /u/Nukemarine

49
+ - 816 206
The sinking of the titanic mus... is listed (or ranked) 49 on the list The Greatest Shower Thoughts Ever Thought
The sinking of the titanic must have been a miracle to the lobsters in the kitchen. /u/ElBretto

50
+ - 641 148
You're too big to ride the dog... is listed (or ranked) 50 on the list The Greatest Shower Thoughts Ever Thought
You're too big to ride the dog by the time you're smart enough to think to ride the dog. /u/puppieseverywhere