Morty: "Nobody exists on purpose. Nobody belongs anywhere. We're all going to die. Come watch TV."
Rick's View on Love
Rick: "Listen, Morty, I hate to break it to you but what people call "love" is just a chemical reaction that compels animals to breed. It hits hard, Morty, then it slowly fades, leaving you stranded in a failing marriage. I did it. Your parents are gonna do it. Break the cycle, Morty. Rise above. Focus on science"
Rick "All right, all right, cool it! I see what's happening here. You're both young, you're both unsure about your place in the universe, and you both want to be Grandpa's favorite. I can fix this. Morty, sit here. Summer, you sit here. Now, listen—I know the two of you are very different from each other in a lot of ways, but you have to understand that as far as Grandpa's concerned, you're both pieces of shit! Yeah. I can prove it mathematically. Actually, l-l-let me grab my whiteboard. This has been a long time coming, anyways."
Hitler Cured Cancer
Rick: "What about the reality where Hitler cured cancer, Morty? The answer is: Don't think about it."
Rick: "Weddings are basically funerals with cake."
Rick: "It's like the N word and the C word had a baby and it was raised by all the bad words for Jews."
Morty: "I mean, why would a Pop-Tart want to live inside a toaster, Rick? I mean, that would be like the scariest place for them to live. You know what I mean?"
Rick: "You're missing the point Morty. Why would he drive a smaller toaster with wheels? I mean, does your car look like a smaller version of your house? No."
Your Whole Life Ahead of You
Rick: "You're young, you have your whole life ahead of you, and your anal cavity is still taut yet malleable."