When it comes to relationships, you’d think it wouldn’t matter which gender you were pairing up with, and that most people are basically the same. Wrong. Careening back and forth between guys and girls can be fun, but it can also be a lot of work. There are all sorts of differences between going out with girls and guys, and the most important distinctions just might surprise you. Obviously the sex is completely different, but who do you think is clingier? And which gender do you think is the better kisser? For answers to these questions, and more, check out this list of the differences between girlfriends and boyfriends sourced from some helpful bisexuals who posted in AskReddit.
If you’re bisexual, vote up the biggest differences you think there are between dating guys and dating girls and feel free to tell everyone about some of your experiences in the comments.
Women are squishier.
"Men are harder.
No seriously. Women tend to be soft and squishy, and men tend to have less give.
You could never tell just by looking, I mean they both seem to have the same amount of fat.
But its a huge and consistent difference.
Definitely caught me off guard."
22 people just voted on People treat you differently when you switch it up.
"It wasn't so much about difference between the people I was dating - I'm willing to chalk that up to the individuals, rather than their genitalia - but I would say that people who knew me with a boyfriend treated me differently than they did when I had a girlfriend, and vice versa.
It's sort of like people would have been fine with me being straight and fine with me being a lesbian, but watching me switch from men to women and back again caused a sort of cognitive disconnect.
(I'd like to point out that I was never treated badly as a result of this. It was always just interesting to watch people do a double take when they met my new partner, especially because several of them have had gender-neutral names.)"
It's easier to find guys to date.
"This probably isn't surprising, but it's a lot easier to find men to date as a female bisexual. With straight dudes, being bi is a more or less a plus (though that also comes with it's own problems), with lesbians being bi is a pretty big minus. I haven't dated another bi person, though, hopefully they'd be more chill with it than the rest!"
Women are better kissers.
"I'm female. The way girls kiss is staggeringly different from the way men kiss. I prefer to date men in terms of sexual compatibility, but Christ are women better kissers. Women are softer and more responsive to physical cues, where as men tend to be like, 'This is what I've done before and no one ever said it sucked so I'll keep doing it!'"
17 people just voted on There's less pressure when dating a guy.
"I'm a bi guy, I've dated both guys and girls, though at this point I've realized that I'm just overall much happier with women. I can't connect with guys on an emotional or sexual level like I can with women.
Guys give much, much better blowjobs.
Girls are much, much better kissers.
Since there's more ass involved with gay sex, the scent of butt no longer repels me - in some ways I've come to associate it with being about to get some.
There's less pressure (real or imagined) to last longer in bed. Not that sex is always a quickie, but we both know that as long as we both orgasm - which is the case 99% of the time - we'll be satisfied. I've reached this point of comfort in relationships with women as well, but it takes longer. I've found that it also takes longer to find out what gets a girl turned on. With guys you can just fiddle around with the penis for a bit and you're good to go.
Much more preparation involved with gay sex. You need to have lube handy, and the state of one's stomach/bowels can be a determining factor in whether or not you're getting any. Though in retrospect this is similar to not having sex when a girl is on her period (though period sex never bothered me).
Similarly, gay sex involves more cleanup, because of lube and the occasional poo particle. A farticle, if you will. My dick just feels dirty after sex with a guy, whereas I don't feel that way after sex with a girl.
But it also means I get to do butt stuff. ;)
...which means that guys don't get all weird when it comes to the butthole. A lot of girls I've been with have had hangups about that, which I've never totally understood.
Less focus on foreplay with guys.
There's less pressure (real or imagined) to provide for a guy. In relationships with women I've usually split things evenly as well, but there's more of a natural inclination to pay for shit.
There's no designated bug killer when dating guys.
When on dates with another man, there's a little bit of self-consciousness in regards to little things like holding hands. We'd still do it anyway, but it's otherizing a bit. Society has progressed a lot, but not completely.
Flirting with girls turns me on much more than flirting with guys.
I've found guys to be less sensitive to my emotional needs than women, but that could partially just be an individual difference with the people I've dated."
Men are more emotionally confusing.
"Lesbian for 15 years, bisexual for the last year. Generally speaking:
Dating women:Soft kisses, soft hugs, soft everything. Sex is more of a leisurely stroll through a park.Way easier to fall in love. The intimacy is intense when you're both speaking the same emotional language. Oddly enough, it's harder to have that first connection because women can be really passive and not show they're interested. PMSx2 is just as fun as it sounds. More defensive, less cooperative.
Dating men:Hard kisses, hard hugs, hard everything. Sex is more of a roller coaster. Figuring out what a guy wants emotionally when even he doesn't want to admit/knows is nearly impossible without sabotaging the whole thing by seeming too 'needy'. Figuring out what a guy wants physically is wonderfully easy. Less defensive, more cooperative."
18 people just voted on Men like to talk about themselves, women like to talk about other people.
"My experience comes as someone who is not much of a talker at all (to the point that it can frustrate people around me at times) but who is a hell of a listener. Even though the stereotype is that women are the big talkers, I've found that both genders love to talk when they feel they are really being listened to. The main difference I've found is that men love to talk about themselves and women love to talk about other people. I'm not sure one is worse/better than the other... men can pretty egotistical, but women can be quite nosy/ cruel and critical of others. This is actually the biggest difference I've consistently observed."
Men are more vocal about experimenting in bed.
"Male bisexual here (yes, we do exist).
-Grinding against a guy the same way you grind against a woman (when you aren't going for penetration) can have disastrous consequence when you poke the balls you forgot were there.
-Guys that I've been with have been more vocal about experimenting in bed. Not necessarily talking crazy, kinky stuff here. Think "new positions." I think women are equally interested in experimenting, but I tend to have to initiate that conversation. The women I've been with have largely let me take the lead until they are more comfortable with me. Guys tend to get to the point sooner. I'm not sure which I prefer - it's fun and exciting to have someone else initiate something new, but it can be unsettling if you don't know the person well.
-A lady has never licked my butt and I don't think one ever will and I am absolutely okay with that.
-When I'm with a guy, deciding who pays is always hilariously awkward for a minute. With a woman, at least it is almost never awkward to offer to pay.
-Woman are more mysterious to me. In general, I feel as if I can connect faster with a man than a woman, but when I take more time with women, the payoff of getting to know them generally results in better, longer, more intimate interactions. I don't exactly know how to describe it, but even though it's harder for me to emotionally connect with women, the connections tend to be stronger, deeper, and more mysterious. Mysteries can be really good things.
-Women tend to be much more aware of their surroundings, more cautious, and careful about people they are interacting with whom they don't know well. Guys tend to be less worried about it, and more direct. I think of it as the difference of talking to a lady on Tinder vs. talking to a guy on Grindr (which, btw, is an app I do not use).
-With women, there is usually the possibility you can have biological children. With men, that possibility doesn't exist. Even when you're young, that thought is always floating in the back of your mind."