- 1+ 59- 23
Check Your BallsI read a magazine article in the doctor's office today that said, "The finger holes in bowling balls have been found to contain substantial amounts of fecal contamination." Can you imagine someone taking a crap in those tiny little holes? Sperm I could understand, but crap???
- 2+ 19- 12
GuttermouthI really enjoy watching Betty White.She's old and filthy... just like my bowling ball.
- 3+ 17- 12
Random Thoughts 33Never rent bowling shoes,if you wear size 15.
- 4+ 10- 8
The 4 ups in BowlsSkips must be up. Thirds must measure up. Seconds must chalk up. Leads must shut up.
- 5+ 8- 8
Strike This From The Records?Studies indicate that 4 out of every 10 professional bowlers
wind up in the gutter.
- 6+ 10- 12
What do a bowling ball and a blonde have in common?Chances are they'll both end up in the gutter.
- 7+ 7- 9
Press Option 1I walked into a bowling alley and saw a one-armed man. I asked myself,"I wonder if he's a lefty or a righty"?I'm a total dumbass.
- 8+ 7- 9
DreamsI used to dream of being a professional bowler, but then a sports injury - spare ribs - stopped me.
- 9+ 10- 13
Possession of WiiSome Florida police are in trouble for being caught on camera playing Wii Bowling during a drug raid. Nerds!
- 10+ 8- 11
A League Of My OwnI go down on one knee. Start praying and wind up in the gutter, I call it Tebowling.
- 11+ 4- 7
Antonio Pierce OutNew York Giants linebacker Antonio Pierce is out indefinitely with a strained neck. The former Pro Bowler injured himself looking up at the standings.
- 12+ 3- 6
Consult to your doctorThe doc said I have tennis elbow and I thought I was playing bowls!
- 13+ 1- 4
Custer's Second ArrowI was watching professional bowling, and this guy from Finland beat the other pro,299-100.I haven't seen a slaughter that bad, since Custer's Last Stand.
- 14+ 1- 4
Gas Station declared Historic PlaceA Bowling Green, Kentucky filling station built in 1921 has been placed on the National Register of Historic Places. It marks the only time a gas station restroom was cleaned.
- 15+ 4- 8
Bowler is Perfect, Then DiesA Michigan man died of a heart attack moments after bowling the first perfect game of his life. To add insult to injury, the lane made his estate pay for the shoes.
- 16+ 3- 7
Perfect strikeDid anyone hear about the young woman who had sex at the bowling lanes with a ten pin? nine months later, she gave birth to a healthy 16 pound bowling ball.
- 17+ 2- 6
Giants Go BowlingGiants coach Tom Coughlin surprised his team by canceling their classroom work and taking them bowling. Probably preparing them for a season in the gutter.
- 18+ 1- 5
100 Year Old BowlerA 100-year-old woman from New Jersey has become the oldest competitor in the history of the United States Bowling Congress Women's Championships. Because bowling is totally a real sport.
- 19+ 1- 5
Split DecisionTiger Woods could always change sports,like Michael Jordan did.He should become a professional bowler,keeping his balls in the gutter.
- 20+ 1- 5
Strike While The Iron Is HotProfessional bowlers have their name on the back of their shirt.Tiger Woods has his cell number.