- 1+ 12- 3
You Don't Have Butterv
Destiny: "You know how you guys asked if I needed anything?"
Ethan Emmet: "Uh huh"
Destiny: "You don't have butter."
Ethan Emmet: "I'll get you some."
Destiny: "Okay, I'm going to need like 200 pounds."
When someone asks for butter, generally they need maybe a tablespoon or two for their bread. So when Destiny asks for 200 pounds, her foster father Ethan wonders what the heck she's planning.
- 2+ 6- 3
The Scarlet Letter
Brooke Swinkowski: "I present to you The Scarlet Letter... For those of you who don't know it's a movie starring Demi Moore."
Oh Brooke. You tried so hard to make an impressive butter sculpture but you failed miserably. Saying that The Scarlet Letter is a Demi Moore movie isn't helping either.
- 3+ 7- 5
What This Competition Is Aboutv
Laura Pickler: "Before you cast what may be the most important vote of your lifetime, I'd like to remind you what this contest is about. It is about excellence in butter. From what I've seen here today my faith in this panel's commitment to excellence has been challenged. Unless I'm mistaken it seems like some people seem to think this competition is about who's the most disadvantaged, who's had the hardest life, who's had to overcome the most just to get here. Well I'm sorry that I was born white and tall and pretty. And I'm sorry that I have spent my life working hard trying to do the right thing because I thought that's what this competition was about. I just hope when you vote you remember that. Thank you. God bless America."
Addressing the judges at the big butter sculpting competition, Laura Pickler attempts to influence their opinion of her. Laura is intimidated by a young African-American girl who might just steal the top prize right from under her nose.
- 4+ 3- 1
You Can Do This
Brooke Swinkowski: [to Destiny] "You can do this. You can take down Laura Pickler. You kick her pasty white ass."
Ethan Emmet: "I don't think I want you hanging out with strippers, OK?"
When Brooke realizes that she has can not beat Laura in butter sculpting, but she still wants to beat Laura, so she does the only obvious thing, recruits a young orphan with talent to win this butter sculpting competition for her.
- 5+ 6- 5
The Race Card
Laura Pickler: "It's amazing, isn't it?"
Carol-Ann Stevenson: "I think that might be Harriet Tubman."
Laura Pickler: "I mean she obviously decided to play the race card."
Laura Pickler is clearly intimidated by young rival Destiny, though its not quite clear if Laura is more focused on Destiny's race or her actual butter sculpting skills.
- 6+ 6- 6
You Owe Me, Bobv
Brooke Swinkowski: "Hey boo"
Bob Pickler: "You can't be here."
Brooke Swinkowski: "No but you still owe me money, remember. You never gave me the rest of the money. Butt ain't free."
Bob Pickler: "This isn't happening."
Brooke Swinkowski: "But you said you loved me, Bob."
Bob Pickler: "That was a little early for me."
Brooke Swinkowski: "But we did it. I never do it with guys from the club, Bob."
Kaitlen Pickler: "Dad, who's that?"
Bob Pickler: "Nobody"
Brooke Swinkowski: "Nobody?!"
Kaitlen Pickler: "Is she a hooker?"
Bob Pickler: "No, no, no"
Kaitlen Pickler: "I like her boots."
Bob Pickler: "Those are army boots. She's a recruiter."
Kaitlen Pickler: "Wait, is she your hooker? Cause I totally understand if she is."
Bob Pickler: "Kaitlen, go back to the table right now."
Brooke Swinkowski: "Nobody?! Nobody, Bob?!"
Bob Pickler: "Brooke, can't we do this over email?"
Brooke Swinkowski: "Bob, I'm gonna s*** on the hood of your car."
Bob Pickler: "I see you are definitely a passionate woman."
Brooke Swinkowski: "You have two minutes to get me that money or I swear to god."
Bob Pickler: "I'm sorry, Brooke. I can't. I'm married."
Brooke Swinkowski: "You know what, f*** you. You are just like my father."
Bob Pickler: "My wife controls the checkbook."
Brooke Swinkowski: "Your wife, Bob? I can't believe your going to let your wife come between us. I thought you had morals."
Bob Pickler: "Okaaay"
Brooke Swinkowski: "You tell your wife to watch her back."
Bob Pickler: "Will do. Thanks!"
Brooke Swinkowski: "F*** you, Bob!"
Bob Pickler: "No thank you, we have plenty of steak knives."
Laura Pickler: "You owe me, Bob. You owe me big."
Bob's peaceful night of dinner at home with the family just went from bad to worse. Not only did his stripper friend Brooke arrive (via bicycle) to demand money but his wife just happens to overhear the conversation and go on to make demands of her own.
- 7+ 3- 3
Bearing His Children
Brooke Swinkowski: "You came between me and my man."
Laura Pickler: "Bob is my husband. I plan on proudly bearing his children."
Brooke Swinkowski: "So, I get pregnant like once a month."
Completely oblivious as to whose man Bob actually is, stripper Brooke confronts Bob's wife, Laura. Unsurprisingly, Brooke uses the fact that she gets pregnant monthly as a positive argument as to why she's better.
- 8+ 3- 6
The Butter Police
Ethan Emmet: "You people are ridiculous. It's butter. You put it on toast. Oh, oh, and news flash, it's bad for you. Yeah, I said it out loud... What? Really? The butter police? Wow."
Ethan straight up loses his head at a butter sculpting competition and begins shouting at those in his vicinity. That is until the butter police comes along to remove him from the area.
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