G Options B Comments & Embed
- 1+ 38- 9
Pretty, Pretty, Pretty, Pretty GoodLarry: "I'm feeling pretty good. Pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty good."
Larry is trying pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty hard to convince his psychiatrist he's feeling good enough to leave therapy. How very (very, very, very) convincing...
- 2+ 14- 3
Get in that A**Leon: "When a man calls you a f**king f*ggot, you get in that ass Larry, you know what i mean? You get in that ass Larry!"
Larry: "What are you talking about?"
Leon: "You let a man slide today, you must immediately get inside somebody's ass when that happens to you. You pull the asshole open, step into the asshole, close the door behind you. Then you take a spray can right, spray Larry was here, wash me all that s**t, f**k his whole asshole up. Get a snickers bar, paper, throw that on the floor, f**k his whole asshole up. Then you open up that asshole one more time, step out his ass, then leave that motherf**ker wide open so he know you've been there."
Leon, ever the wise one, offers some sage advice to Larry about dealing with jerks in life. You don't just kick their ass - oh no. You crawl INTO it and mess stuff up even more.
- 3+ 12- 3
Are You My Caucasian?Larry: "Are you my Caucasian?"
Krazee: "I'm your…"
Larry: "Are you my Caucasian?"
Krazee: "I'm your mother f**king Caucasian."
Krazee-Eyez Killah, who could forget him? Larry sure can't. And really, who else would a wanna-be rapper want helping him write his sick rhymes?
- 4+ 13- 5
Larry JewLarry: "You're black and your last name is Black? That's like if my name was Larry Jew."
Larry's little "joke" is completely lost on the Black family - thankfully. So thankfully.
- 5+ 14- 6
Gigantic VaginaJeff: "No, no, no."
Larry: "Big vagina?"
Jeff: "Gigantic vagina."
Jeff: "Biggest vagina known to man. It's huge."
Larry: "You're kidding me, are you telling me the truth?"
Jeff: "It's gigantic."
Definitely need a little context with this: Jeff's ego took a huge blow when his ex claimed he had a small penis. So, to soothe said bruised ego, Jeff tells Larry that the ex's vagina was...well, cavernous.
- 6+ 14- 7
The Stop and ChatJeff: Why didn't you say 'hello' to him? You know him.
Larry: "He wanted to do a 'stop and chat,' I didn't want to do a 'stop and chat.'
Jeff: "Stop and chat? Where do you come up with these things, stop and chat?"
Larry: "He wanted to stop and chat with me - and I don't know him well enough for a stop and chat."
Ah, the stop and chat. Who hasn't been there? The 'stop and chat' can be downright painful - Larry avoids it at all costs.
- 7+ 14- 7
Vanilla Bulls**t ThingsLarry: "I'll have a vanilla... one of the vanilla bulls**t things. You know, whatever you want, some vanilla bulls**t latte, cappa thing. Whatever you got - I don't care."
Who hasn't wanted to say this to their local barista at one point or another? Maybe not exactly this way - but Larry David once again manages to tap into our frustrations with this classic quote.
- 8+ 11- 5
Nancy Big TitsLarry: "I got Shawn Yoga, the Yoga instructor. Teresa masseuse."
Leon: "I do the same thing. Like right here, look look, Nancy big t**s, I know Nancy got big ass tiits. Janelle sweet ass. That's the only way I know who the f**k it is."
Who saves contacts under headings like "Nancy Big T**s?" Leon Black, that's who.