- 1+ 48- 12
We Have a Chevy
Barnabas Collins: "How soon can the horses be ready?"
Elizabeth Collins Stoddard: "We don't have horses, we have a Chevy."
Barnabas, not surprisingly, has a bit of trouble adjusting to life in the early-1970s. What's a Chevy, exactly?
- 2+ 26- 3
Carolyn Stoddard: "Are you stoned or something?"
Barnabas Collins: "They tried stoning me, my dear. It did not work."
Carolyn Stoddard (Chloe Moretz) is the rebellious teen daughter of the family. She takes an instant dislike to Barnabas -- but she hates everything. That includes 200-year-old vampire relatives.
- 3+ 28- 5
Place Your Lips Upon My Posterior
Angelique Bouchard: "Hello, Barnabas. Remember me?"
Barnabas Collins: "Witch! You cursed me to be this hideous creature! You may strategically place your wonderful lips upon my posterior and kiss it repeatedly!"
When Barnabas emerges from his coffin, he finds that Angelique (Eva Green), the witch who condemned him hundreds of years ago, has become one of the most powerful people in Collinsport. A power struggle is coming -- a big one.
- 4+ 20- 3
Barnabas Collins: "What is your age, if I may?"
Carolyn Stoddard: "Fifteen."
Barnabas Collins: "Fifteen, and no husband? You must put those birthing hips to good use at once, lest your womb shrivel up and die."
Carolyn Stoddard: "You're weird."
Telling Barnabas Collins he's "weird" is actually a compliment, of sorts. Barnabas has definitely got a hang-up about birthing hips, including those belonging to 10-year-old David Collins' governess, Victoria (Bella Heathcote).
- 5+ 19- 3
Carolyn Stoddard: "I guess the only thing missing is Alice Cooper."
Barnabas Collins: "Well, she should be our guest, nonetheless!" (watches Alice Cooper singing) "Ugliest woman I've ever seen!"
Alice Cooper does make an appearance in 'Dark Shadows,' singing "No More Mr. Nice Guy." This song, and Cooper's "Ballad Of Dwight Fry," are both on the 'Dark Shadows' movie soundtrack (along with hits from Barry White, Iggy Pop, T. Rex and The Moody Blues).
- 6+ 17- 3
Never Having to Say Sorry
Barnabas Collins (to members of a hippie commune): "Love means never having to say you're sorry. However, it is with sincere regret that I must now kill all of you."
Johnny Depp has said that as a child, he loved 'Dark Shadows' and actually wanted to BE Barnabas Collins. He's getting his wish in this movie remake, and he's definitely going for campy laughs. Character-wise, Depp says he was most influenced by the actor who played the original Barnabas, Jonathan Frid.
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