- 1+ 10- 0
Agent Lucy Wilde
Lucy Wilde: "Mr. Gru, Agent Lucy Wilde of the Anti-Villain League, you're gonna have to come with me."
Gru: "Oh sorry… I…"
Lucy Wilde: "You know you really should announce your weapons after you fire them. For example… Lipstick taser!"
When Lucy Wilde arrives to recruit Gru, Gru has other plans and whips out a weapon. Lucy counters, easily since he announced his attack ahead of time, and overpowers Gru into submission.
- 2+ 8- 2
Never Grow Older
Gru: "Good night, Edith… Good night, Margo… Whoa, whoa, hold the horses. Who are you texting?"
Margo: "My friend Avery"
Gru: "Avery. Huh? Avery? Is that a girl's name or a boy's name?"
Margo: "Does it matter?"
Gru: "No. No, it doesn't matter unless it's a boy!"
Agnes: "I know what makes you a boy."
Gru: "Uh… You do?"
Agnes: "Your bald head"
Gru: "Oh, yes"
Agnes: "It's really smooth. Sometimes I stare at it, I imagine a little chick popping out… Peep-peep-peep."
Gru: "Good night, Agnes. Never get older."
When putting his children to bed, Gru faces the realities that his girls will grow up before he knows it. Margo already is scaring him with her possible texting to boys while Agnes scares him in her possible understanding of anatomy, something she actually does not understand which is a relief to Gru.
- 3+ 4- 1
Silas Ramsbottom: "We are the Anti-Villain League, dedicated to fighting crime on a global scale. A new villain has surfaced. You know how a villain thinks. That's why we've brought you here. I am the League's director, Silas Ramsbottom."
Minions: "Bottom!" [laughs]
Silas Ramsbottom: Hilarious"
When Gru and his Minions meet Silas Ramsbottom, the leader of the Anti-Villain League, the Minions soon make what is a serious and tense conversation into a gigglefest and all it took was the mention of the word bottom.
- 4+ 4- 3
Accepted a New Job
Gru: "I have accepted a new job."
Margo: "Oh, really?"
Gru: "Yes, I have been recruited by a top secret agency to go undercover and save the world."
Edith: "You're gonna be a spy?"
Gru: "That's right, baby! Gru's back in the game with gadgets and weapons and cool cars, the whole deal!"
Agnes: "Are you really gonna save the world?"
Gru: "Yes… Yes, I am."
Gru is excited to announce to his children the news of his top secret new job. He's all excited to be an undercover spy, especially for all the cool gadgets the job brings.
- 5+ 3- 2
Gru's Not Here
Jillian: "Gru! It's Jillian!"
Gru: "Tell Jillian I'm not here."
Agnes: "Gru's not here!"
Jillian: "Are you sure?"
Agnes: "Yes, he just told me."
Jillian: [laughs] "Agnes, where is Gru?"
Agnes: [While Gru makes various hand gestures] "He's putting on lipstick! … He's swatting on flies! He's chopping his head off! He's pooping?"
When Jillian comes to visit Gru, Gru does his best to hide from her by using Agnes. He tries to explain what to tell Agnes to say but since he cannot talk, his actions are lost in translation.
- 6+ 3- 2
Like to Go On a Date?
Gru: "Hello Lucy, this is Gru. I know up to know our relationship has been strictly professional and you're leaving for Australia and all but, okay, here is the question. Would you like to… to go out on a date?"
Minion: "Uh, no"
Gru: "Okay, that's not helping. All right, here we go, for real this time. I can do this!" [to telephone] "Gah, I hate you!"
Gru practices what he'd say on the phone to ask Lucy out on a date. When it comes time for the real thing however he finds burning the phone with a flamethrower as an easier alternative. This however creates more problems, mainly in the crew of firefighting Minions that appear to put out the flames.
L The List