criminals The 53 Dumbest Criminals Ever  

Jacob Shelton
8.3k votes 1k voters 510k views 53 items Follow Embed

List Rules Vote for the criminals who failed so hard they just failed.

This list of the dumbest criminals will make you feel like a rocket scientist. While it's nice to know that most criminals are too idiotic to follow through with their hair brained schemes, it's kind of depressing to realize how stupid a lot of people really are. The deplorable dumb dumbs on this list sound more like fictional characters than they do hardened criminals. But these crime fails are all totally real. And yes, that includes the guys who tried to rob a grocery store while riding a donkey. These are the worst criminals ever, who were just too stupid to be successful. 

This collection of the dumbest criminals of all time ranges from almost the entire state of Florida, to people who committed crimes in police stations, and a guy who tried to sell weed to a detective. How do you think that ended for him?!

Hopefully after reading about the idiots on this list of dumb criminals you'll have learned some life lessons. For instance, don't try to write yourself a $360 billion check. You can't do that. No one will cash it for you. If you steal an iPad, maybe don't take selfies with everyone in your crew the moment you get back to your house. Selfies can wait for when you have changed the iCloud account to "not the original owner's." And please, stop drinking and driving - even if you're driving with one eye closed to counteract the double vision, it's just not a good idea.

Vote up the dumbest of the dumb criminals on this list of idiotic crimes that completely failed.
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Robber Gives Cashier His Phone Number


Robber Gives Cashier His Phone... is listed (or ranked) 1 on the list The 53 Dumbest Criminals Ever
Photo:  uploaded by Jacob Shelton
18 year old Ruben Zarate wanted to rob a muffler shop in Chicago and demanded money. Unfortunately it was mostly in the safe. Zarate decided that he would try again later. To save himself some time, he left his cell phone number with the store employees. That way, they could call him when the manager returned.

Source: News Sentinel
 
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Criminals Draw on Their Faces with Marker to Disguise Themselves


Criminals Draw on Their Faces ... is listed (or ranked) 2 on the list The 53 Dumbest Criminals Ever
Photo:  uploaded by Jacob Shelton
Before breaking into an apartment, Joey Miller and Matthew McNelly decided to put on disguises. And by disguises we mean they covered their faces in permanent marker. The thing about permanent marker is that... well it's permanent. 

After the burglary, the pair was pulled over by police and immediately recognized because of their hair. Just kidding, it was their faces covered in permanent marker that set them apart from the crowd. 

Source: The Telegraph
 
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Crackhead Tries to Get Her Money Back After Buying Wack Crack


Crackhead Tries to Get Her Mon... is listed (or ranked) 3 on the list The 53 Dumbest Criminals Ever
Photo:  uploaded by Jacob Shelton
Eoise Reaves stretched the limits of “to serve and protect” when she approached a policeman and asked him to help her get her money back for the poor-quality crack cocaine she’d just purchased. She showed him the crack, which she had tucked away in her mouth, and he placed her under arrest. How does one know when crack has gone bad?

Source: Shroomery
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Man Applies for Job Before Robbing Golden Pantry


Man Applies for Job Before Rob... is listed (or ranked) 4 on the list The 53 Dumbest Criminals Ever
Photo:  uploaded by Jacob Shelton
Demetrius Robinson, 28, wanted to rob a Golden Pantry store late one night, but he needed to pass the time as naturally as possible until he and the clerk were alone, so he decided to fill out a job application. Not a bad idea, except he left his real name on the application, along with his uncle’s phone number. After he robbed the store, it didn’t take long for police to track him down. He didn’t get the job.

Source: Sun Journal