Single guys don't have time for the cleanup and constant upkeep that comes with other masturbation toys. The Fifi not only offers a reprieve from the burden of maintenance, it's also discrete enough to not garner any weird looks from the TSA (and it's only $24.99!).
A Cast Iron Skillet
What are you cooking that requires more than one workhorse pan that can survive for generations? Are you a celebrity chef? Didn't think so. Get a cast iron skillet and bask in the greatness that is true vintage cookery (that's a thing now).
You may not realize it, but your apartment smells very weird. If the sudden possibility of a gal coming over presents itself, you're going to wish you had some Febreeze on hand to make your box full of comic books and video games smell like fresh laundry and lavender.
A Very Good Razor
Even if you're going for that mountain man look that's oh so chic right now, at some point you're going to need to look like someone who hasn't been eating bear jerky for the last decade. A good razor doesn't just clean up your face, it treats your skin like a boy king by pampering it and soothing every errant pore.
A Cool Record Player
Stop listening to music on your computer. Music streaming services are great for working out or when you're in the office, but when you're home you should be listening to music on something that lets you hear the subtleties of your favorite songs.
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