Family Conversation Topics For Thanksgiving Dinner

Pick sides, divide the table and begin dinner. Nothing gets a good conversation flowing like a difference in opinion.

How to spice it up:

1. Say you won’t cut the turkey until the entire table agrees on whether there’s Genocide going on in Darfur or not.

2. Maybe you don’t know that much about Darfur (that’s okay, no one does). Why not try talking about something you do know, like abortion, gay rights, or which Becky was better on Roseanne.

3. Red Pepper Flakes.

Why not talk about the vastness of the Universe? Carl Sagan used to say, "The only thing worse than knowing how truly insignificant we are in the scheme of the Universe, is having to realize it at Thanksgiving Dinner."

Don’t suffer alone. If you must suffer, so should they.

How to spice it up:

1. Tell the elders at the table you believe the Moon landing was a hoax.

2. Talk about Aliens.

3. Cholula Hot Sauce. Tapatio and Tabasco have nothing on it. NOTHING!

What Thanksgiving dinner would be complete without discussing past sexual experiences! Nothing says more about a person than the poor choices they’ve made in the bedroom!

How to spice it up:

1. Casually mention that you may or may not be masturbating.

2. Put holes in all the fruit on the table and then mention you may or may not have a sexual thing with fruit.

3. Mention Red Curry?

4. Just mention. Mentioning helps spice everything up.

Maybe your family believes that Gay people should have the right to get married. Move on, then! See if they feel the same way about Transgenderism or polygamy. Every Liberal has a limit. Spend quality time with your Liberal family trying to find that limit.

How to spice it up:

1. Cross dress at the table.

2. Cayenne Pepper.

Make every gathering magic with Magic: The Gathering. Families love talking about Magic: The Gathering.

How to spice it up:
1. No need, it’s already spiced as much as it can be.