- 1+ 17- 6
Yo MamaShe got arrested at the airport for ten pounds of crack.
- 2+ 20- 12
Last ChristmasYo Mama is so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas and its still printing.
- 3+ 20- 12
Yo Mama so fatShe wore a yellow raincoat and people yelled Taxi!
- 4+ 18- 12
How do you get a fat kid to lose weight?You pay the ice cream man to keep on driving.
- 5+ 16- 11
DietA fat lady says to Big Bertha, "I have had it with dieting... I lost two pounds last week and nobody noticed."
- 6+ 14- 9
JapanYo Mama so fat that when she went to Japan in a green bikini they all started yelling, "Godzilla Godzilla!"
- 7+ 12- 8
Fat lady is lying on the beachA lifeguard approaches her and says, "Excuse me ma'am, could you please leave the beach?" The obese lady replies, "Why? What's wrong?" Well you see, says the lifeguard, "It's getting pretty late, and the tide wants to come in!"
- 8+ 16- 13
Fat PunWhat is the difference between a skinny person and a fat person? The skinny person is a very lean and the fat person is very jell-ous.
- 9+ 14- 11
WeighingIf weight is a number, then mine is unlisted.
- 10+ 13- 10
Yo MamaOnce she jumped in the water, everone ran out yelling, "Tsunami!"
- 11+ 12- 9
LipstickYo Mama so fat, she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller.
- 12+ 10- 7
ScaleBill was so fat when he stepped on the scale it said, "To be continued."
- 13+ 8- 7
Yo MamaSo fat that your dad and her were in bed and tried to kiss he'd have to slap her belly and ride the third wave up!
- 14+ 9- 9
Yo MamaShe took her pants to the dry cleaners and the lady said, "we don't do curtains."
- 15+ 8- 8
Bungee Jumping MammaYour Mama's so fat, when she went bungee jumping, she broke the bridge!
- 16+ 6- 6
Biggest loserHe's so fat when they applied for the biggest loser tv show. They said, "sorry, there's a weight limit."
- 17+ 13- 14
You know you're fat when...The scales don't go up to the weight you weigh. You know the true meaning of the word plus-size. You can't see your feet without sitting down.
- 18+ 8- 9
A man with a corkOne day in the locker room, Bob sees a fat man with a cork in his ass. Curious, he asks the fat man how it got there. "Well," says the fat man, "I was walking along the beach when I tripped over a lamp. There was a puff of smoke and this great magnificent guy in a turban came rolling out, it said, I am a genie. For releasing me I can grant you one wish? And I said, 'No s**t!'"
- 19+ 8- 12
FamineTwo guys were walking down two different streets. They meet each other at an intersection and look at each other intently.
Fat man to the other: Seems like someone's been through a famine.
Skinny man replied: Now I know who caused it.
- 20+ 5- 9
JudyShe has so many double chins she looks like she is staring at you over a pile of pancakes.