Five Reasons Why No One Should Ever See GI Joe.

The cartoon, if anyone remembers it. The longest running gay joke in history were 80's cartoons like He-Man, Thundercats, and GI Joe. All the guys always had those shirts with their pecks pooping out, and they were always hugging each other and telling each other how much they cared for one another. If you find GI Joe to be awesome and 300 is your favorite movie, you're probably gay, sorry to be the one to tell you.

2. Dennis Quaid. A horrible actor. I'd rather watch his brother any day in a movie. He has become the new Kevin Costner, his last big movie was that piece of s**t vantage point (yes I did not capitalize because it does not deserve it). Can anyone think of the last great Dennis Quaid movie (since the one pictured) that you watched, really? And after you watched it you went, wow, The Quaid has changed my life. I hope not.

3. The character names are retarded. I will never see a movie that's characters names are Captain Hawk, and General Cobra. Oh yeah and by the way Dennis Quaid looks dumb in a beret.

4. Marlon Wayans is in it. Let me guess the token black guy who does stupid s**t and makes obligatory black jokes. Awesome, never seen that before. Maybe after this Wayans can take over for Eddie Murphy in Showtime Two opposite De Niro.

5. The Director: Stephen Sommers is a low level Michael Bay. He is terrible, remember all the horrible films he has given us so far, The Mummy, Van Helsing, The Jungle Book, and who can forget The Mummy Two! Well he finally has done it. He made a macho, idiotic masterpiece called GI Joe. Maybe an applause is in order for the man for taking a toy and turning it into box office, gold. I hope you enjoy all of the money you're going to make you hack.