Five Ways to Leave Your Lover By Alex Sargeant  [19 more lists]

Everyone loves a good song! Write about your hate, mistrust and fear of commitment in a sweet jam. I suggest you write the song yourself so as to not be confined by the words of another artist (Everyone's breakup song is different). This is your time to shine, make it personal.

If you’re like me and couldn’t write a song if your life depended on it, use Journey’s Separate Ways. Slide out the boombox, look him/her in the eyes and say, “I have something to tell you. I think this song says it all.” Press play and leave the room. Break up done!

It takes a lot for a person to get up the courage to jump out of a plane, so imagine how easy it’s going to be telling your significant other you no longer love them while traveling at terminal velocity.

Swoop in, look them in the eye and then yell as loud as you can, “I really don’t see this working anymore! I’m sorry!”

Helpful hint: If you’re wearing a squirrel suit, you can get really far away so as not to get your ass kicked in midair.

Why not blow some minds while breaking up with someone? Baseball Jumbotrons have been dominated by marriage proposals for far too long. Mix it up! Break up with your girl or guy in front of thousands of people! Shame them into not yelling at your for being a p***y!

Have the waiter at your favorite restaurant tell her for you. Finish dinner, excuse yourself for a moment, let the waiter do their job and glide out of the restaurant with a full stomach and no more worries.

Note: This may take some money. Waiters, like strippers will do anything you ask them to as long as the price is right.

Write a novel, get it published, and break up with your significant other on the dedication page.

I realize that getting a novel published takes a lot of time and you may not want to be with this person for that amount of time but I can assure you that it’s worth every miserable second.

Bonus points: Write the novel about writing a novel just to break up with your significant other. That’s fucking meta! Major bonus points!