- 1+ 30- 7
"Nothing can take the sting out of world economic problems like watching millionaires present each other with golden statues."
From Crystal's monologue
- 2+ 20- 5
Making Animated Films the Chris Rock Way
"It's so hard doing animation, getting into character. No, UPS is hard work… It's the easiest job in the world... and then they give me a million dollars!"
Chris Rock introducing the Best Animated Feature award
- 3+ 19- 8
"I was genuinely star-struck when I met Kermit the Frog. But once you get to know him, he's just a normal frog. Like many stars here tonight, he's a lot shorter in real life."
Best Original Song winner Bret McKenzie, of Flight of the Conchords, who wrote the songs from "The Muppets."
- 4+ 18- 9
What Brad is Thinking
"This better not go too late. I have 6 parent teacher conferences in the morning."
Billy Crystal tells us what Brad Pitt is thinking.
- 5+ 16- 8
"You're only two years older than me, darling. Where have you been all my life?"
Christopher Plummer, speaking to his Oscar for Best Supporting Actor
- 6+ 10- 4
"She's either the most dedicated actress of our time or the most dedicated hoarder."
Billy Crystal, after listing off Meryl Streep's various award wins
- 7+ 12- 7
Oh, Those French...
"They must be going nuts in France right now. Or whatever the French have in place of joy."
Billy Crystal after Jean Dujardin tap danced on stage to celebrate his "Artist" Best Actor win
- 8+ 13- 9
"We've got puppets and acrobats. We're a pony away from being a Bar Mitzvah."
Billy Crystal following appearances by The Muppets and Cirque du Soleil
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