Funny Oscars 2012 Quotes

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Funny Oscars 2012 quotes include the best lines from the 84th Annual Academy Awards ceremony. Each year, Oscar hosts and presenters utter amusing jokes and one-liners. Sometimes these lines are funny -- sometimes they aren't. With Billy Crystal back as the host of the Oscars this year (for the ninth time, no less), expect some hilarity to ensue. Crystal's opening Oscar monologues tend to be really memorable and genuinely funny, if not a little safe. His song parody at the 64th Annual Academy Awards of "The Prince of Tides" was an instant classic. Enjoy this list of the most hilarious quotes at the 2012 Academy Awards, and be sure to vote up the lines you thought were the best of the night. Some of these quotes were more entertaining than the Oscar winning movies themselves.

The best Academy Awards quotes don't always come from the Oscar host or the presenters: Sometimes, the most hilarious lines come from the winners, during their acceptance speeches. Melissa Leo's (unintentionally funny) acceptance speech when she won Best Supporting Actress in 2011 for 'The Fighter' comes to mind. Her gratuitous dropping of the F-bomb is hard to forget, and it also led to other funny moments. When Christian Bale won Best Supporting Actor (also for 'The Fighter'), he quipped, "Melissa... I'm not gonna drop the F-bomb like she did. I've done that plenty before."

Opportunities for funny Oscars quotes abound. Kermit the Frog and Miss Piggy, for example, are presenters, and they could very well steal the show with funny quotes. And if Jean Dujardin wins Best Actor for 'The Artist' at the 2012 Oscars, there's almost a guarantee that he'll make a witty, charming acceptance speech. As long as he smiles that ridiculously awesome smile, he'll be great.

Of course, for every great, genuinely funny Oscars quote, there are a slew of really terrible ones. Sometimes, jokes just fall terribly flat. Case in point: Jude Law's comment to Robert Downey Jr. at the 2011 Oscars. Law took a dig at Downey's rather colorful past as the two were presenting an award, telling him, "Your closest association with a superhero would've been in 2001 when you got busted in a cheap hotel with a woman dressed as Batgirl." Yikes. And sadly, everything 2011 Oscar co-host James Franco said or did at the ceremonies just wasn't funny.

Take heart, Oscar fans! This list of funny 2012 Oscars quotes will likely be chock full of the greatest, most amusing lines ever uttered at any Academy Awards show, ever.

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    Golden Statues

    "Nothing can take the sting out of world economic problems like watching millionaires present each other with golden statues."

    From Crystal's monologue

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    Making Animated Films the Chris Rock Way

    "It's so hard doing animation, getting into character. No, UPS is hard work… It's the easiest job in the world... and then they give me a million dollars!"

    Chris Rock introducing the Best Animated Feature award

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    Meeting Kermit

    "I was genuinely star-struck when I met Kermit the Frog. But once you get to know him, he's just a normal frog. Like many stars here tonight, he's a lot shorter in real life."

    Best Original Song winner Bret McKenzie, of Flight of the Conchords, who wrote the songs from "The Muppets."

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    What Brad is Thinking

    "This better not go too late. I have 6 parent teacher conferences in the morning."

    Billy Crystal tells us what Brad Pitt is thinking.

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    Hello, Darling

    "You're only two years older than me, darling. Where have you been all my life?"

    Christopher Plummer, speaking to his Oscar for Best Supporting Actor

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    Meryl's Trophies

    "She's either the most dedicated actress of our time or the most dedicated hoarder."

    Billy Crystal, after listing off Meryl Streep's various award wins

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    Oh, Those French...

    "They must be going nuts in France right now. Or whatever the French have in place of joy."

    Billy Crystal after Jean Dujardin tap danced on stage to celebrate his "Artist" Best Actor win

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    Three-Ring Circus

    "We've got puppets and acrobats. We're a pony away from being a Bar Mitzvah."

    Billy Crystal following appearances by The Muppets and Cirque du Soleil

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    Poor Kodak!

    "We're here at the beautiful Chapter 11 Theater."

    Crystal in his monologue referencing the now-bankrupt Kodak Corporation, as the Oscar's are taking place at the Kodak Theater

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    The Oscars in German

    "Since my mother spoke German to us growing up, my Chinese has a slight German accent."

    Sandra Bullock, before introducing the Best Foreign Film nominees in German.

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    Bale or Romney?

    "A Dark Knight, an American Psycho, a charismatic crack addict… you'll get to choose one on Super Tuesday."

    Billy Crystal introducing presenter Christian Bale

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    Original Song Legacy

    "One of our nominees will join the ranks of previous winners, 'When You Wish Upon A Star,' 'Moon River,' 'The Way We Were' and 'It’s Hard Out Here for a Pimp'"

    Zach Galifianakis introducing the nominees for Best Original Song alongside Will Ferrell. (Cymbals were also involved.)

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    Will Plummer Win

    "Christopher Plummer may be walking up on stage today, because apparently he wanders off."

    Billy Crystal goofing on the 82-year-old Supporting Actor nominee

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    Her? Again?

    "When they called my name, I had this feeling… I could hear half of America going, 'Oh come on. Her. Again.' But whatever."

    Meryl Streep upon accepting her Best Actress Oscar for "The Iron Lady." (Viola Davis from "The Help" had been the early favorite.)

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    Chris Rock On Casting

    "If you're a black man, you can play a donkey or a zebra."

    Chris Rock discussing how characters are cast in animated films

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    Flying Monkey Love

    "I didn't like it till they got to the Flying Monkeys."

    Fred Willard from the "Wizard of Oz Focus Group" sketch

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    Hug a Black Woman Today

    "When I came out of 'The Help,' I wanted to hug the first black woman I saw. Which from Beverly Hills is about a 45 minute drive."

    Billy Crystal following Octavia Spencer's win for "The Help"

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    Piggy is in the Balcony

    "Moi's first experience was sitting in a theater… a lot closer to the stage than this."

    Miss Pigy reminisces about her first time at the movies from the cheap seats.

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    Get Up Here!

    "Oh my God, Jonah! Get up here! Let's dance!"

    Emma Stone trying to do on-stage banter with Ben Stiller (and Jonah Hill in the audience) while presenting the Best Visual Effects award

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    Octavia Thanks the Academy

    "Thank you Academy for putting me with the hottest guy in the room."

    Octavia Spencer accepting her Best Supporting Actor Oscar from Christian Bale.

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